Night frights - Amaryllis

As a vampire, sleep wasnt necessary. Rest could do the job just as good, as her body was technically dead. It wouldnt make sense to humans how a vampire worked biologically, but did it really matter? They lived just like the others. She was reading a book she was given by Kyle, she had read it in the future already, but by the looks of it, it was a brand new one and not the worn out one she had read in the future. It was interesting to notice the difference that the past bore, it seemed a lot like the future, yet also nothing alike it.
She crunched the pages like a starving animal, entranced in the adventures that were written on the otherwise blank pages. But suddenly a scream echoed, from someone she knew so well. She looked up and quickly dropped the book without hesitation as she ran to her room and flung the door open, turning her eyes to her girlfriend. "Amaryllis?" she called out rather tonelessly, but her best friends could tell the worry that hid beneath it.

She had started hating nighttime. Once the darkness had been welcoming and exciting, but lately it meant restless sleep - if any sleep at all – as well as horrible nightmares. A scream belted from her chest as she felt the fear overwhelm her and she fell out of bed and landed on the ground. Disorientated and scared she pulled her knees up under her chin and shook as the fear and terror left her body slowly. Her senses were going crazy and she looked up at the vampire, her lower jaw shaking as if she tried to say something, but nothing came out. Tears started falling now and she hid her face down into her knees, just crying in silence and shaking. She didn’t like that Karmena saw her like this, and talking about Ramsay and what had happened only seemed to drive her nightmares crazier. Slowly she breathed in, trying to calm herself. ”I-I’m f-fine,” she mumbled through her tears and tried to keep it together. She had forgotten to lock the door, and she felt so stupid letting her girlfriend see her like this.

She raised both her eyebrows as Amaryllis seemed ashamed of being seen like this. She closed the door behind her and walked over to her girlfriend as she sat down on her knees in front of her, placing her palms against her thighs. "You're lying," she said rather unconvinced at her mumble. She exhaled and hopped a bit closer as she scooped Amary into her arms and held her close as she stroked her arm in a soothing manner. She looked a bit into the room for a bit and didnt really say anything before she looked down at the trybrid and moved her arm up to her face, making her look her in the eyes, "Hey. Dont be dumb. I'm your girlfriend and I love you," she said rather sternly as she exhaled at the realization that she could sound quite harsh. She kissed Amary's temple and didnt move her lips away from her skin. "It would break my heart more to know that you're suffering alone," she whispered rather quietly, even with the emotionless tone, there was a tint of sadness to be found in it.

Right now, Karmena was the only one who could touch her without her freaking out somewhat. She let the vampire touch her and pull her close and let out a sigh. If she hadn’t been so stubborn she would have asked Karmena to stay with her over the nights, but she felt so selfish asking for that. Her girlfriend usually spent her nights with peace and quiet, and taking that away at a time like this felt wrong. ”I love you too,” she mumbled drying off her tears with the back of her hand. To many the vampire would sound harsh or monotone even, but knowing her all these years, you picked up on subtle hints. Amaryllis felt lucky that it was Karmena who had heard her. Her whisper made her jaw tremble again, now having something else to cry about. Amaryllis hated crying. She was the happy girl. The funny girl. The one everyone found a gleam of joy in, but she had been reduced to a shell of her former self. She had moments of clarity, where she could feel her laughter from her belly, but they were too far apart by now. She swallowed, finding her words. ”He force-fed me that girl,” she whispered. Just saying it made her stomach turn and she felt nauseous, but maybe it was also because it was the first time she had said anything about what had happened when she was in Ramsay’s grip.

She closed her eyes for a bit as Amaryllis told her that she loved her back. She didnt have to say it, Karmena knew that they shared a special bond that wasnt meant to be broken - At least she thought it was so. She felt Amaryllis tremble in her arms and pressed her closer, hoping that her cold body could give some sort of comfort instead of warmth. She looked down at her girlfriend as she finally spoke out on some of the horror that the demon had put her through. She swallowed and felt her anger rise, but she remained calm as she put her hand from Amaryllis' cheek behind her head and held her even closer. "There is nothing I can say that will ever make it okay. But what's done is done. Her suffering has ended and she's somewhere better now," she said as she made a sad expression, if there was something that really ticked Karmena off, then it was the loss of innocent lives, especially when it was done in such a horrible way as this was.
She gulped quietly as she started remembering the things that Ramsay had done to her in her captivity. But she wasnt going to make this about her, she wasnt haunted in the same way as Amaryllis, or she was better at hiding it. She looked Amaryllis in the eyes, "You have to live with what has happened to you, even though I'd give anything to change it... I cant," she then said and moved her eyes away from Amaryllis to stare at the ground. How she wished that she could change it. "But you cant let that bastard win. He tried to break you down, and I'd be damned to let that happen to you,"

Amaryllis felt herself getting pulled closer to the vampire, and she let herself be embraced. Though Karmena’s skin was cold, it felt so relaxing and comforting. ”I know what done is done, but is there something wrong in wishing for something better to have happened?” she whispered looking up at Karmena and searching her dark eyes. The only thing she had been certain of since Ramsay was that she loved Karmena, and that she never wanted to leave her side. But another part of her begged her to never get close to anyone again. Isolate yourself. You’re a danger. The voices were overwhelming at times, and she had kept mostly to herself. Vanya had reached out, trying to talk, but Amaryllis couldn’t find the world. She had tried getting her inner demons out with fighting and training, but she didn’t feel comfortable doing it around others. Shortly she swallowed as she looked into Karmena’s eyes. ”I know you would go to great lengths, but the fact that he got a hold of you too,” she whispered, moving a shaking hand up to Karmena’s face, and placing her palm against her cold cheek. ”I was terrified of loosing you, loosing the only person that has kept me sane up and until now,” she whispered, biting her lip. She positioned herself better and pressed her lips gently against the vampire’s. A small taste of relief, she thought to herself. ”He did break me, or at least part of me,” she admitted. She hated that he had gotten to her like that, but her nightmares were endless and the only release she got was when she was awake. Yet still there she felt the looming doom over their heads. ”But the pieces are stil in here,” she said pointing first to her own head and then to Karmena’s chest. ”I just need to figure out the puzzle, and that’s why I’ve pulled away from the others,” she admitted.

"No. It's completely fine to wish for it. I hope someone grants you that wish some day," she answered.
She listened intently to her words as she felt the shaking hand on her cheek. She looked at the trybrid and sighed deeply at the next words, her eyes not shy from showing the sadness she felt. She gulped as she was about to say something as she felt the soft lips on hers, and it seemed to make the sadness go a little easier on her, but not quite enough. Even less when Amary admitted that he had achieved a part of his goal. She went quiet as she seemed to space out a bit, mostly because she was imagining how good it would feel to choke the life out of the demon bastard. When she spoke again, she seemed to come to her senses and looked at the trybrid, looking at her hand as it directed her eyes to Amary's head before it directed her to her own chest.
She moved her eyes back to Amaryllis and listened to her. She sighed shortly and lifted her into her arms as she got up and put her on the bed. She lied down next to her on her side and grabbed her girlfriend's hand to entangle their fingers. She looked at their fingers, in the same spaced out way from before before she quickly shook her head, "I'll help you with whatever you need. Even if it's to be left alone," she then said as she looked into the green eyes that she loved so much.
"Dont feel bad for what he did to me. I was careless, and it was my own fault," she then said as she kissed Amary's fingers one by one and sighed. She knew that her words probably wouldnt sit well with the trybrid, so she looked away and gulped. "I at least think so," she then added and squeezed their fingers gently.
"Whenever I feel that the memories of his horrors are starting to get to me, I try to remember the good things that has happened to me," she then said as she looked at Amary. "I remember that I have the people I love here with me, alive," she then said as she looked at their hands again. "I think that's something to smile about," she made a soft little awkward smile, it had been a while since she last smiled.

Amaryllis let her self getting lifted up in the bed and placed herself closer to Karmena, seeking the safety that the vampire emitted. Their fingers entangled, and just their eyes meeting was enough in this moment. ”I don’t want you to ever leave me,” she whispered looking into those dark eyes she loved so much. Her green eyes looked as Karmena kissed one finger at a time as she explained her thoughts about the ordeal. ”If anyone is to blame, then it’s me,” she whispered, not sure if she wanted to share her thoughts. She went quiet and listened to Karmena’s words and put on a small faint hint of a smile as she saw the vampire’s lips curl slightly. ”I know I have a lot of people to be greatful for being here, but I still feel guilty,” she said and swallowed to keep herself from crying again. She breathed out and closed her eyes shortly as she tried calming herself. ”I was the domino piece that started it all, and everytime something happens to any of you, I can feel it being traced back to my faults,” she whispered and opened her eyes. Tears were in them, but she felt like she had no energy left to do anything else than lettting them fall down her cheeks. ”On the other hand, if I hadn’t been this stupid and reckless; would I have ever gotten to this place of happiness that you fill me with?” she said.

"My heart is with you. So that's where I'll be as long as you'll have me," she assured her whisper with a squeeze of their hands - Gentle and loving. She wished how she could just lie here and say all sorts of sweet nothings, but for Karmena, they were anything but nothings. But Amaryllis was still caught up in her sadness and guilt, and could she really blame her? It was a harsh half truth, that seemed to have infested itself to stay - At least for now. She listened and exhaled deeply. She wasnt sure of what to say, so she was quiet, right up until the tears started trickling down Amary's cheeks. She pulled her closer and burried her face in her hair as she sighed.
"I wish I could say that I was thankful, but it hurts to know that this caused you agony," she said muffling the words in the soft blonde hair of the trybrid. "You may have been the domino piece to all this pain, but domino pieces dont care for pain or happiness. Do you think about the happiness that it has caused as well?" She said as she lifted her face and let go of her hand as she placed it on her cheek and removed her tears. "Some day you'll be free from feeling broken. And it's okay if it doesnt happen soon. I'll be at your side all the way," she said as she lifted herself up over Amaryllis and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Her hand moved away from Amary's cheek and under her head, entangling itself between her hair to touch her scalp. She lifted her face and looked into Amary's beautiful green eyes. "We'll fix your head together. You and I," she then said as she leaned her forehead down to hers, connecting their skin as if they were connecting on a deeper level. She closed her eyes and sighed softly, "You're still the obnoxiously happy, big mouthed, brat that you've always been. It's somewhere in you, waiting to be pulled out into the light again," she said lowly as she opened her eyes.

Amaryllis felt herself smile a bit at Karmena’s assuring whisper and looked down to their hands as she felt the squeeze. She was truely greatful, but she also felt a bit selfish letting the vampire wait for her like this. Soon she was close to her vampire again, and she wrapped her arms around her and pulled herself closer. Her scent was one of the few things that could calm her down at this point. ”Some days I see the happiness; I see how much happier that Lion and Vanya are being together – but then I remember I was the reason they didn’t feel like they could be together,” she said looking at dark eyes, a bit of flicker of emotion behind her green eyes. It was comforting to know that Karmena would waver in this and stay by her side. As Karmena was now over her, she wrapped her arms around the vampire’s neck, closing her eyes slightly at the fingers in her hair. Her promise placed a faint smile on her lips and she felt the cold forehead. ”I was never a brat,” she whispered and couldn’t hold back a small short chuckle, and let out a sigh. Happiness was a weird size, but Karmena made her happy. She opened her eyes and looked into the dark ones above her. ”I want to get better for us, I want to spend my life with you – at least until you get tired of my messy lifestyle,” she whispered and moved her hand up to cup her cheek. ”I need to feel normal, but being here I feel so trapped; I’m not saying we run away, but Lion and Vanya went away for a few days, so why can’t we?” she whispered. She just wanted to get out. Breathe. Feel like a normal teenager and just try and have fun. ”I know Kyle is going to kill us for it, but I can’t stay here much longer before I’ll explode,” she begged and looked into Karmena’s eyes, searching for an answer she didn’t know the question to.

"But they found each other. Isnt it a typical love story right out of the book? You may be the villain, but villains can get happy endings too," she then said, knowing that it probably wasnt the right thing to say. But then again, she wasnt really good at this kind of stuff, even when she tried her hardest, it could slip.
"You so were," she argued as Amaryllis chuckle made her stomach tingle a bit. She wasnt sure when she'd last heard that, so it was nice to know that she could still make her laugh. Her eyes shifted between the greens as Amaryllis spoke. She leaned her head down to the hands that were cupping her face and felt a calming happiness spread in her. It was unusual for her to feel this happy, but the trybrid had her way with force feeding it to her. She wasnt going to deny Amary a chance to feel normal, and some time away from this place seemed like a really good idea.
She couldnt hold back a soft smile at her begging tone and lifted herself up on her elbow as she made a teasing calculating look. "I'd go anywhere with you," she said as she pushed herself up and looked at Amaryllis, "Get dressed. I'll check to see if it's clear to go," she said as she walked over to the door and opened it, peeking out of it before she walked into the hallway. She walked a few paces to the living room that Kyle usually sat in. The werewolf was in a deep sleep in his chair with a book in his hand. Karmena grabbed a thin blanket and placed it over him before she carefully closed the door to the living room. She walked back to Amaryllis and nodded, "Coast is clear," she said as she offered her hand for Amary to take.
Getting out was quite easy as mostly everyone was asleep. Jake walked out in the hallway as they were walking and rubbed his eyes, "Santa?" he asked in a sleepy voice. Karmena grabbed Amaryllis and shiftly ran for the door, getting them out faster than Jake could see who they were. She put Amary down when they were outside and grabbed her hand. "Where do you want to go?" she asked and looked at the lovely trybrid.

Amaryllis nodded at Karmena’s words. Even if it was hard to be called a villain, she also knew part of it to be true. She felt like the villain at times, and the guilt followed her wherever she went. Her eyes fell on Karmena and she smiled slightly at her comment. Was she really a brat back then? It felt like so long ago that she could hardly remember. The vampire’s cold cheek against her hand felt so good, that it was hard to explain. The soft smile made her heart skip a beat and she sent a smile in return as the vampire promised to go anywhere with her. Such a small sentence made her stomach do a small cartwheel and she sat up as Karmena moved away. Amaryllis got to her feet and grabbed a pair of black jeans, pulled a soft red sweater over her torso and grabbed a small bag. Just the essential things, a phone, money and a change of clothes. The trybrid bit her lip as she pulled her long strawberry blonde hair back into a messy ponytail, but it had to be good for now. Her green eyes fell on Karmena as she entered again and walked over to her fast, almost skipping in excitement. It had been so long since she had been out from these walls and she just longed for fresh air and some time to think. Amaryllis took her hand, entangling their fingers as they started walking down the hall. A small gasp escaped her lips as Karmena grabbed her and quickly got them out.

”I haven’t thought that far,” Amaryllis admitted when Karmena asked her where she wanted to go. The trybrid was not one for planning and looked up at her girlfriend with a faint smile. ”How about we just run? See where it takes us – we can always turn around if we run too far,” she said leaned up to her and stole a kiss from the vampire’s lips. ”Or we could gamble; go to the station and take the first train out of here,” she said looking shortly at Karmena before she darted off in the direction of the station. She wasn’t as fast as a vampire, but she could run faster than most. As they reached the station, she stood a bit idle and looked around. So many people were still at the station, even at this time, but decided to walk over to one of the ticket dispensers. ”Next train leaves for Manchester in ten minutes,” she said, turning her head around and looked at Karmena.