Being stuck in a castle together is bound to be bad - Lion

Even after all that had happened, they were still all forced to be in the castle, the good thing about it was that it was big enough for Karmena to just find the furthest hidden space, where she could read for herself and collect her thoughts. She had been trying her best to avoid both Lion and Vanya, not because she was angry, or not angry at them. Their indecency had made Karmena confront feelings she never thought she would have, and it seemed easier to blame them than to admit that she had felt it.
The door opened and she looked up with angry eyes, as she thought it was a maid or someone else. Just not him. She swallowed what seemed like a big ball of anger, as it just made her more angry to see who it really was. She exhaled deeply and made a disappointed frown, "You knew how she felt. Or you should have known. She really loved her," she then said rather harshly, knowing that it was quite the accusation, but she wasnt going to start a chit chat. "How can you be so insensitive?" she then asked, which was quite a funny thing coming from the person who never really showed any sort of sensitivity or care. She didnt really care at this point, he knew her well enough to know how she truly was.

She clenched her teeth as he told her to stop demonizing him like she was. It didnt feel right to be this way towards him, not after all they had shared, but she was in no control of most of her emotions, mostly because she also felt that she had let everyone down, in her own special way. She frowned angrily at his words, but she scoffed and looked away, giving him a long silence - She felt so cruel and all she really just needed was a hug but she wasnt going to get it from him. Fear was that she'd crumble and fall to nothingness, the fear she always had when she got close to people.
She broke the silence with a shaking exhale as she looked down on the floor, "I just thought that you'd treasure the bond we all shared, instead of throwing it away, and for what? Are you planning on making her happy?" her gaze went up and a flare was in her eyes, "They're both hurting, and you're here blaming yourself, but not doing any-fucking-thing to stop it," she spat at him, pulling herself to her feet, feeling the pain of her leg shoot through her. She whimpered quietly but she wasnt going to let it show how bad it was hurting. Her constant need to be there for the others had taken it's toll on her leg, making her vampiric healing useless as she had to have the leg broken and put back in place till it was in the right place again. "Take some responsibility for what you have done. Both of you, instead of this fuckery," she then hissed, feeling the anger boil in her cold body like a everburning fire in a frozen forest.

She knew that she was wrong for blaming it all on him. It wasnt fair, and yet she had done it anyway. But it wasnt about making him hurt even more, it was her to vent her feeling of guilt on someone else. She listened to his reasons, his attempt to collect the broken pieces. She was never mad at him, she couldnt be, because as much as they had hurt Amary, they hadnt done anything to her. It only showed that much more that this wasnt so much about the fact that they did what they did, but Karmena wanting someone to point fingers at so the finger couldnt go inward.
As he said she only cared for Amaryllis, something clicked in her, making her next move even surprise herself, as he had left the room. She quickly walked after him, quite carefully to not sprain her leg, till she had caught up where she just lunged her fist at him, knowing that he could block it. If he grabbed her wirst, she’d just kick her leg up, landing a knee in his abdomen, staggering a bit back to regain her composure. She quickly realized what she had done in her fury and her eyes widened with horror. “I.... Fuck... shit....” she started mumbling as she put her hands up on the sides of her head, staring at her bestfriend who she had just harmed. The best friend that she had spent many nights with, telling him all her deepest and scariest secrets - Things she could have never told Vanya or Amaryllis. How her mother not wanting her truly made her feel, how she hated herself for being who she was, the guy who listened and consoled her when her mind was getting too much. Her eyes started to water and she couldnt shake the feeling that this had changed something between them. “Lionell.. I’m so sorry,” she mumbled as her mouth started quivering. Was she going to cry? All these emotions barging in on her, making her lose control. In this moment, she truly felt her wish of never being born, she felt it so bad that it was tearing her apart.

He took her by surprise when he approached her, even after she had hurt him in a way that was different and horrible, he still hugged her tight and comforted her. Her eyes starting filling up with tears that seemed like an endless waterfall, and her shaking arms lifted up to hug him tightly. She let out a pained sob as she dug her face down into his shoulder, this was her bestfriend. She scoffed at his remark to call him Lion - She knew he hated when she used his first name, but she did that with everyone.
But then the guilt struck her. She knew that she had tried to give them all the blame, just so she could hide behind the fact that she hadnt been better than any of them. The horrible feeling that she had acted so righteous, when she was just as bad as they were. Her lips quivered as she was looking for the words to say. Could she really say it? Admit her mistakes? Maybe she should have been more after herself, than she had been after them. "I kissed her. I kissed Amaryllis," she then whispered, pushing herself out of his arms as the guilt told her to get away. She should have probably waited, but she couldnt, not when he had been a better friend than she'd ever be. She just looked away, saying it once more in case he didnt hear, "I kissed her, Lion. When she was at her lowest, I took advantage of her and used it for my own selfish pleasure" the words stung, Amary and her had agreed to do it right, but maybe Karmena just wasnt good enough for the right thing.

She knew it had been a bad time to mention it. Maybe it was the feeling that she shouldnt have exsisted that had manifested in her, making her feel like she needed the last push. She had known which buttons to press and she had mercilessly pressed them all at once. He went off on her, talking as he normally would, but she felt the sting of his words like a poisoned knife in her heart. The more he talked, the more she was sure of her intentions, the answer was clear and right in front of her. Instead of replying, she just stared at him, but they both knew he was right, even if he didnt mean his words. She just looked at him with empty eyes, maybe a slight satisfactory expression was on her face. She knew what she had to do, and it would be better for all of them. She gulped, it seemed so scary, but she wasnt going to be a coward. She looked at him go and dried her cheeks, "I love you Lionell, I hope you'll remember that..." she then said for him to hear before she started walking down the hall the other direction.
She went back into the reading room she had been in and picked up the magical object that could send her back in time. It had been fixed by Alison and it was originally also confiscated, but Karmena had her ways around when stealing things. She clenched it tightly as she said the date out loud and felt the magic surround her as she was removed from this time. Her book was on the floor, open on her latest page, but as soon as she was gone, it disappeared as well. Like she had never been there.