The broken promises

DATE 17 February
WEATHER Cold, suns skinning, few clouds.
PLACE The Nelsons residence
ATTIRE A white shirt, and blue loose fitted jeans.

She had gotten the kids out for the day, pulled some favors, and something about both Zadkiel and Laila was looking for their own place, and agreed to make sure to give the rest of the kids a grand day. Because Eden wasn’t sure it would be a pleasant surprise when they got home again, not what she was about to discuss with Cael, no it was already breaking her heart. But after Seraphina had come home, and her and Cael had gotten down from the rush of everything being sort of okay again, she had known that she couldn’t pretend anymore.

So now she sat there, waiting for her husband coming home from work, specifically asked him to come home early – they needed to discuss something urgent.
Food was already ready stood on the table, red wine in her glass that had not been touched. How did she even begin to explain to him how she felt, and how she had processed all of this without actually telling him that she wasn’t happy anymore? That she dreaded going home, and sometimes she just wanted to run away from all of it? How could you tell someone that you loved that you didn’t love them that way anymore? The person you had given a promise, that you would be there in sickness and health, that this wasn’t something they could do anymore?
Her heart was beating in her chest, as she heard the door open, and with a soft smile she stood up and slowly walked toward the hallway to greet Cael.
But in the end, she just stood there looking at him, not really knowing what she could do or say. “Welcome home” she finally got out, and folded her hands together in front of her.

What had happened at home and what had happened to Seraphina had taken everything from Cael. Not only his excess, his energy but also the feeling of being welcome home. After he had come late to the gala that Eden had held and how he had seen her reaction, he knew well what time it had turned, he could feel it for himself. Cael loved his wife and children, but they were growing apart if you could not say they'd already grown apart. Where the blame lay, Cael knew it was his hero all alone, which he gladly took on his shoulders. But one thing was to take it on his shoulders another thing was to say it to Eden.

The way Eden had fervently asked him to come home early was strange, but he could figure it out. Cael probably wouldn't have had the balls to say it, but he was hoping somewhere that wasn't the reality, because what would happen? Would they be able to divorce as friends and be able to collaborate with their children? Or will they be divorced as enemies and not be able to cooperate? Cael had no work done that day, he had his "don't want to disturb" sign on the office door and it had been closed all day.

Cael finally turned up the driveway with fear throughout his body, if Eden did not take the talk on the table, he had to do it even if the desire wasn’t there for this ate him up. He didn't sleep and he didn't eat anything these days. The door was unlocked and entered Cael, with the smell of Eden's delicious food hitting his well-hungry belly with a rumbling. "Thank you, it smells really good" he said as he started pulling out of his vest and his belt, he discovered he had forgotten to take off before driving from the station. His eyes were gently turned to Eden, the way she stood there, and her eyes said everything. Cael bit his lower lip and nodded quietly. "I think we need to talk to Eden" it came quietly from him, he had to man himself up. She was his love of life, but he didn't want to destroy her any more than she already was.

It was a raspy breath that was pulled through her nose, it was not like this were going to be one of those messy divorcers that would be a lot of yelling, curses and a battle in court. She didn’t want that, she just, they had a successful marriage it just didn’t work for them anymore, that didn’t mean she didn’t love him or that she wished for this to happen, maybe something that Angels didn’t really think about when getting married, or any creature really that didn’t die of old age. They had demanding jobs both of them, when the kids had started coming, so soon after the other and the talk about getting a new one, it almost felt like they couldn’t co-exist without having children between them, something to take their minds of it.
“Yes, I know” she whispered, and put her arms around herself and looked down at her feet it felt like someone grabbed her heart and started squishing it to the point where it would break into am million pieces and never come back together again. “Do you want something to eat first, or?” she asked quietly finally looking up towards him, she didn’t know how to being, how did you say to a person that had been with her for longer than his lifetime, that she couldn’t be together with them anymore. She had lived for so long, and even as she hadn’t settled down, and only experienced heartbreak very few times, she also knew that things didn’t last forever, and sometimes it was a good thing that change happened, and then you could move forward stronger than you were before. But that didn’t make this any easier, no in fact nothing about this was easy.

Cael så på Eden, han var sulten og alligevel ikke men han vidste han var nødt til at spise noget bare lidt i hvert fald. Han trådte længere ind i køkkenet fra gangen og sagde stille ”lad os spise lidt” selvom tanken om mad gjorde ham dårlig. For at skulle sige farvel til dit livs kærlighed og nok også med viden om at det aldrig ville blive dem igen, det var ikke sjovt! Cael havde heldigvis ingen planer om at han ville råbe og skrige eller ende i retssag om deres børn eller noget andet.

Han satte sig ved bordet og begyndte at øse lidt med op på tallerkenen, han var en anelse fraværende, men det var tydeligt at se på ham, han havde det elendigt med sig selv og det der skulle til at ske. Han ville sagens kunne klare sig økonomisk han havde en del penge fra hans forældre som han kun havde taget meget lidt af for at kunne give deres børn nogle ting og de sammen kunne få drømme huset, så det ville ikke blive et problem for ham. Men det at han ikke længere skulle komme hjem til et hus fuld af liv og en dejlig kone det skulle han vænne sig til. Der blev ikke rigtigt sagt noget fra Cael side mens han spiste, men det var nu heller ikke ret meget han spiste før han skubbede tallerkenen fra sig. ”Tak for mad, det smagte dejligt” Sagde han og tømte sit glas for rødvin, han var nervøs og rystede voldsomt på hænderne.

”Eden” sagde han og satte glasset fra sig mens han gned sit ansigt i sine hænder. [b]”Det her går ikke, det tager på dig og mig, det vil også snart tage på børnene og det ønsker jeg ikke” sagde han og tog en dyb indånding og man kunne høre hans stemme svagt skælvede og rystede samt at hans øjne begyndte at blive våde. ”Jeg elsker dig Eden og det skal du vide, du har altid været min store kærlighed og det vil du nok altid være. Men det her går ikke mere” Sagde han og så på hende, før han blev nødt til at rejse sig fra bordet ikke fordi der var noget galt med at sidde der men han havde meget svært ved at være i sig selv både psykisk og fysisk. Han havde grædt overfor Eden på denne måde før og han kæmpede virkelig for ikke at komme til at stå og tudbrøle, han var jo en mand.

Spisningen foregik i stilhed, det var tydeligt at ingen af dem vidste hvordan de skulle snakke til hinanden, og det gjorde ondt på Eden at de var nået så langt ud hvor de end ikke vidste hvordan de skulle reagere når de var i samme rum. Som om de altid gik rundt på æggeskaller og ikke turde at sige noget, for at den anden kunne blive såret eller tage det forkert. Hun var ikke selv færdig med at spise, som han skubbede tallerken fra sig, hun kunne se hvordan han nær ikke havde spist noget. Det bekymrede hende, da hun kunne se hvordan hans sorterende under øjne var blevet mørkere, og hans kindben stod i stærkere kontrast end de normalt gjorde. Det var tydeligt at han havde tabt sig, både grundet hvordan han arbejdede men tydeligvis også fordi han ikke længere spiste som han burde.

Det her går ikke længere, det tager på dig og mig. Hendes bryn rynkede sig sammen, som han begyndte at forklare sig og derefter rejste sig op og begyndte at gå frem og tilbage efter at han er erklæret at det ikke længere gik. Hun mærkede hvordan hendes hjerte slog en anelse hårde mod hendes brystkasse, selvom hun havde haft de samme tanker og hun selvfølgelig havde ville sige det samme. Så kunne hun ikke skjule hvor berørt hun blev af situationen. Hun lagde bestikket på tallerken og tog hendes serviet og tørrede munden af. Hvad kunne hun sige? ”Du fortjener bedre” sagde hun endelig og tog en dyb indånding og kiggede op mod ham. ”Vi fortjener bedre” tilføjede hun, da hun var enig i at det ikke længere gik. Hun ønskede hun kunne rejse sig op og lægge armene om ham, og fortælle alt nok skulle blive godt igen. Men hun var usikker på om det ville blive det nogen sinde. ”Hvordan gør vi det her bedst?” mumlede hun sagte, og anede ikke hvordan hun skulle komme igennem det hvis hun ikke skar igennem til benet og forholde sig roligt og måske en anelse kynisk til situationen.