Only Love Can Hurt Like This

DATE | April 2nd 2022
TIME | Midday
WEATHER | Sunny, warm and bright
ATTIRE | Zayden | Citrine
TOPIC FOR | @Birdie & sis you haven't made yet
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They had been back for a while now, and Zayden had bought a place not to far from the mansion where a good amount of his family were staying, but he had found a big house near the fjord were him and his daughters now lived. At least as long as they stayed here in Grounds of Lily. So, taking a walk near the water was nice, soothing for them all. Just doing things like they usually did, fool around getting some ice cream because, the sun had returned and spring was here so why not enjoy it? Zayden had thought about calling Zoe asking if the wanted to come over, even pick Angel and Johanna up on the way since they stayed in Oakheart, just celebrate all together - if not even drag the wolves out of the mansion to enjoy the sun. Then a scent hit him, and he noticed how his daugthers responded to the same scent as well, making him turn around and look. His eyes started to glow just to be aware, not because it was a dangerous situation, but mostly because it was a scent that was emotionally triggering him to be aware and there he saw her. A person he thought he had lost. He was about to say to his daughters to stay put, but Citrine already started running towards her dead, but really not dead mother near the fjord.

Life was somewhat turning normal. In a way where she had a job, she was living with her daughter and trying to figure things out with how she felt with knowing that Reginald was alive and well. And even though she used her time trying to see where things would take her with Clay. There was still a feeling of not understanding that she had to separate herself from the life that she only just remembered, and the life that she had been having without knowing that she was actually a mother. Never would she have believed it might be something that changed you, but it did, I so many ways. The constant worry that never left you, and the need of knowing that they were okay all the time.
Besides, it was still a little weird knowing that a man that you had loved so dearly was getting married to another woman. Maybe it was selfish, but it was still hard to let go of something that you only just found again. Maybe that was the reason she had found herself walking alongside the fjord today. Just clearing her head a little, taking her dog was a good choice because he loved it when he was able to just walk beside her and sniffing to his heart’s content.
That was when something suddenly tugged her attention away from the water to a woman running towards her. Her brows lifted as flashes started to show in front of her eyes. What was this? Her eyes looked up and when she saw the man it was like someone was crushing down her lungs and heart.

Citrine stopped a few steps apart almost choking on her tongue whilst looking at her mother. Not only could she smell it thanks to her senses but she knew, and she then turned her head towards her father as he got eye contact with her too. Holding her breath, yet taking a step to the side because there was something unsolved there too. Both her and her father had thought they would never see Citrine' mother again. Zayden forgot to breath for a second as he then walked closer, barely realizing he was walking closer. "Birdie?" He said as if he didn't already realize it was her. And he could see in her eyes she was realizing this too. Maybe that was the whole reason why his legs didn't stop him, he kept on walking till he got so close to her hat he could wrap his arms around her and pull her in close. Now it had been a while, but reuniting with someone you loved and always would love - who could blame him for holding her close?

Célestine that had followed behind her father, seeing how her sister had just run off to greet their mother looked at the fairy that seemed so foreign to her. But what could you expect? It was such a long time ago since they had found themselves torn away from wonderland and had to live with their father not knowing where their mother was, or if she was even alive.
When they all stopped, looked at each other as if they were trying to figure out if it was real or not. She walked over and took her sister by the hand and gave it a small squeeze. Not knowing what to say nor do, letting her father take the first step. It seemed like, as of right now it was like the adults had nothing but eyes for each other.

Birdies entire stomach made a flip. Her lips slightly parted as he spoke her name, memories that had been opened up for but not let out entirely flooded out as she looked at him. She almost forgot to breathe for a moment. Now, one thing had been Reginald, but Zayden. Swallowing she turned her eyes towards her daughters. Three children. She had three of them, and she had forgotten? Then arms were placed around her and as if she finally felt at home, she crumbled in them sobbing against his shoulder. Pressing her nose against his hair taking in his scent as her arms closed around him pulling him closer.

Citrine took the eyes of her parents embracing one another, and gave her sister a small glance not really know what to do in this very situation. Because here they were standing looking at their father embracing the person they had for so long had no idea where were or if they would ever see. And yes, so many years had passed them. The loss had completely stopped Citrine's aging, which she later on had grown to not be that fond off - because she looked like a girl just exiting her teens, and struggled with people not always taking her serious because of it. She took a deeper breath in still not letting go of Célestine's hand. Holding her breath for a second as her eyes met with her mother's but still didn't move away from her sister's side.

Zayden just held her close, leaning the side of his head against hers as he took another breath in while she sobbed against his shoulder. Then feeling her embracing him closer, and he closed his wet eyes. All air had been kicked out of his stomach and he barely understood or wished to understand how this was possible. He was just happy that it was. "It's okay," he whispered still with his eyes closed, taking in another breath of her scent, letting both man and wolf rest for the first time in ages. "We are okay -- you are okay," he added still with that low whisper, finally opening his eyes a little bit as he tried to collect himself just a little bit, not that it was easy. Zayden pulled a little bit back, yet didn't remove his arms from around her. He had heard about portals being unstable, being able to mend with the mind - so in the end it didn't shock him that it had taken a toll on her. Him and the girls were just lucky. He moved a hand up as he let his thump remove a few of her tears that traced down her cheeks, giving her a soft understanding smile.

How was it even possible to find the right words? How did they figure out things from here, they had no idea where the other where in their life? If they had someone else, if they had another family? There was the whole thing with Clay, where she actually wasn’t sure what was up nor down. They had been through so much, and she also knew that there were times which were hard for Clay. Because of the past, and the memories that she brought with her after reentering his life. And here she stood, with a man that had brought her so much joy. A man that she had thought she had lost and the sole reason why she had even ventured from Wonderland. Even if she know knew that it had been more than once.
When he removed her head to let his fingers catch some of her fallen tears, she leaned towards him letting her forehead press against his. A small shaky breath left her as her eyes kept close. It was almost impossible not to give into her urges to let her lips press against his. Even as her stomach flipped violently as his breath brought some of the warmth that her lips has lost while walking around with the dog. One that had slowly trotted towards the girls and started sniffing their hands. But she didn’t kiss him, but she didn’t move away either.

Her forehead against his took him back within seconds. It was like everything just fell into place, for once. Zayden took another and deeper breath in and just stood there for a moment, feeling her breath dance over his skin and his eyes closed. He just took everything in, the sound of her heart beating being this close to him, how the fabric from her clothing felt on his fingertips, her scent that made him feel like he finally had found his home after so long. So, feeling her lips just inches from his, and how he craved to just lean in. It wouldn't take much effort to lean in, to give in to feeling the lips softness. His heart skipped a beat, he also didn't know how long he had her here. He didn't know if she would vanish within minutes, or if this maybe was a wicked dream. One thing he did know was that he wasn't going to sit back and wish he had done things different. So, he kissed her. He leaned the last inches in and let his lips trace so tenderly against hers.

Citrine sat down and put her focus on the dog rather than her parents having a rather private moment that seemed like should just have been shared between the two of them and not the girls. But what could they do, hopefully they would return to reality soon enough.

her entire brain caught fire as his lips found hers. Her breath stuck in her throat as her stomach flipped. For a moment she wasn’t Josephine Morningstar, a woman from Australia. Former employee of Interpol now officer of the APD. No, she was Birdie from wonderland. A fairy that had succumbed to darkness. Wandering around alone not knowing who she was or what to do with her life when she had met an equal confused soul. A werewolf that had ended up in wonderland by mistake. A man she had first tried to kill and then come to love so dearly.
So, the kiss wasn’t broken by her former thoughts about the confusion about what she had in this life right now. Instead, her arms snaked around his neck, and she pulled him closer lifting herself up on her feet.

Célestine, much like her sister looked down at the dog and gave it a small smile. Then she took her sisters hand “come, let them be for a moment, they’ll join us at the house afterwards” she whispered, giving her sister a small smile before she made a small whistle and the dog happily trotted after them as they gave their parents a much needed time alone. Even if she could already see how complicated all of this would end up being. But right now, they could get a moment of just being.

He hadn't expected her to kiss him back, but most of the parts of him was so thankful that she did. That she let him dive into the emotions that washed over him and let them fade into the moments that carried them home. So, as she pulled him closer, snaked her arms around him, his hold around her got a bit tighter as he kept her close. Because no, Zayden had never really moved on. Which he knew most people would have wanted for him, but his heart had felt like it never had left Wonderland, it had just stayed strong for the sake of his daughters. It had never been about not being able to move on and find love somewhere else, more of a fact that he hadn't wanted to. Like the soul knowing that its partner someday would return.

Citrine got back up on her feet as her sister dragged her away from the scene. Letting 'the adults' handle their situation, maybe they would join them in the house later, yes. Citrine took a longer and deeper breath in before starting walking towards the house. "What do you think will happen?" Citrine asked, thinking about how it could affect their father in the end, if they should call auntie Zoe, just in case of anything. Or trust no matter the outcome that their father could handle this. But could they handle if their mother actually after this long was to turn the cold shoulder towards them? Citrine wasn't sure she could, not after thinking she had been gone for so long.

It might not be fair in anyway what she was doing at this very moment. But when you felt so drawn to someone and knew that the story between you were bigger than you might ever be able to explain to someone that hadn’t been alongside for all of it. Then how could she not let her heart speak for her? When she felt how soft his lips were against hers. His hands and arms around her. The warmth that was radiating from him, and in that moment, she knew why she had tried to patch things up with Clay, why she had even ended up together with him. Which only made it so much worse because something about him, reminded her of the person kissing her in this very moment.
Pulling away, letting their foreheads meet she let out a soft sigh. “Zayden” she whispered his name, as if it would be the answer to all the questions floating around in her head. Her eyes still closed she let their breaths mix and just let them both be for a moment.

Célestine looked at her sister with a soft smile and then made a small shrug with her one shoulder. She couldn’t really know what the future would bring, but she was sure it would all turn out for the better. She looked over her shoulder and her smile grew bigger as she looked at her parents. “I don’t know, but things are going to be okay” she reached out and took her sisters hand giving it a small squeeze.

Their foreheads resting against one another's, taking a deeper breath in before exhaling softly letting the warmth of her breath dancing across his skin ease him. The whisper of his name made shivers travel down his spine, because he had been so sure he would never hear her say his name again, afraid that he would never hold her in his arms again. His hands travelled up to cup her face, before slowly pulling away, letting his thumbs caress over the soft skin as his eyes opened taking in all of her features. Just taking her in almost completely knocked him out of air, making him finally breathing out in a half sobbed chuckle of joy. "I told you we would find each other again now didn't I?" He whispered still managing to let out the small laugh, but it was true. There had been a lot of fears on getting here from Wonderland when they had travelled. What if they got separated, what if they couldn't find each other again? Sadly those fears had been rather true, up till this point. A part of him knew he had been right to not lose hope completely.

Citrine let out a small sigh. She didn't like not knowing what was going to happen, yet had become the master of just acting like her and the flow were best friend. So, getting towards the house she gave her sister an appreciative smile. "It calls for a drink?" she nodded to herself, "sure does," Citrine rarely waited for people to tell her to slow down, and right now her nerves really did need it. With everything that had happened around with the family, how their cousin had gotten hurt by that Russian pack, even if they weren't an issue anymore she still had some trouble seeing eye to eye with Adonis, not that she actually had been seeking him out. Everyone knew Citrine wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut, and at least she had enough self-insight to know not to walk up to him yet. Citrine unlocked the door to the house and let the dog inside too, before she headed to the kitchen to get some ice and then headed to the living room to grab the Scotch, pouring up a glass. "Want one?" She at least kept the offer open. How did you handle your long lost mother not being dead and after so long suddenly standing in front of you? There were no books or manuals on how to do that.

The smile that spread on her lips, it was a very rare sight. She wasn’t even sure if she had ever smiled like that before. “That you did” she whispered, even though the memories were still foggy, they were there. That was all that mattered really. Even if that meant that she right now forgot everything else, which would later come to haunt her. But right now, none of it mattered. Because she was standing here, feeling the embrace and touch of a man that she loved so much. “Even though I wouldn’t categories as you bumping into me while I’m walking my dog, is finding each other -- or, well, you know what I mean” she chuckled, but before he could answer she leaned in and kissed him again. Just wanting to savor his heat and touch as much as she possible could.

Celest just hummed nonresponsive when her sister asked if it called for a drink, knowing that she would answer it herself. And truth behold, there it was. Sure does.
It wasn’t because she didn’t love her sister. She did. Very much so. Even so, there couldn’t be two people that was further from each other than they were. Even Elias and Leon would seem to have more in common than Celest and Citrine. Mostly because of the fact how big the difference was. The chaotic and loud spoken Citrine that never stopped from having a good time nor get what she wanted. The soft and very quiet Celest, that you often forgot was even there. Hiding over in a corner with her books, deeply absorbed in another world.
Celest shook her head when Citrine asked if she wanted one “No thank you” she answered rather polite and looked at the dog as it followed her towards the armchair she sat down in and took her book, the dog moved around itself before it laid down. “Well, at least it’s cute” she chuckled, scratching it behind the ear before she leaned back and opened her book.

He couldn't anything but help having a little laugh escape when she said she wouldn't call it finding him, "just let me have this one," he mumbled just before she kissed him again. Letting himself take the happiness he had tugged away for so long as his lips met with hers. If this wasn't the most beautiful way of beautiful way of proving that what was meant to be would return to you? Zayden returned the kiss, keeping his arms around her keeping her close towards him. There was no way that he had any intentions of actually just leaving her or letting go.

Citrine clicked her tongue a little bit and nodded to Celest reply. No drink, well she didn't think that her sister would want one, but one could always offer anyways. Citrine lifted the glass up and took a larger mouthful, letting the strong alcohol numbing her nerves just a little bit. Maybe tonight would be a good night to go out and let all these anxious thoughts out or depending on how people saw it, keeping them tugged away. "Cute?" She turned around looking at her sister, raising her brow a little bit. Not because Citrine couldn't see the promise of eternal love, and she knew their father never really had stopped his search and always seemed like he knew that one day - one day Birdie would come back. Yet, Citrine had rarely let herself settle for anything close to what her heart truly desired, maybe that was her biggest issue - not able to find comfort within her own chaos, so she was always seeking to numbing it, try to just be in the moment. "I guess -" Citrine mumbled a little looking at her sister leaning back with a book, making Citrine down her glass and pour up a new drink, as she walked towards the window looking out, seeing if she could spot them her parents on the way.

She chuckled against his lips, and for this moment she felt like she had completely found her way home. Was it fair? She wasn’t sure, because she could mention a few people this wouldn’t be fair to, but right now she pushed the guilty conscience away and enjoyed the moment that she was in right now. Knowing that she had found the last piece of the puzzle, there wouldn’t be any more surprises. This was it.
After a while she moved her head away and leaned it against his shoulder, letting herself immerse in his embrace and warmth. Closing her eyes, she just took the feeling in, and that was when it hit her. Radclyffee. Did this mean that it was Clay’s cousin? She managed to keep a groan from escaping her lips as she buried her head a little closer into the nape of his neck. Almost as if she was trying to run from the consequences of her actions. What cruel fate really.

She looked towards her sister as she only mentioned ‘I guess’ “what? How can you not think it is cute, look at it” she motioned towards the dog with her book and then shook her head, almost as if her sister had said something completely barbaric. Which was almost what she thought, because the small mixed bread that had walked around itself a couple of times before it placed itself on the ground like a donut, was maybe one of the cutest dogs that Celest had seen in a long time. Not that she really went out of her way to meet dogs.

He could hear the small groan as she buried her face closer to him again. Zayden still kept his arms around her, just keeping her closer, no way he was letting go till she at least made a sign that she wanted him to. He knew that there had to be things she was doing with her life. Because they had been needing to keep on living, he knew that, so had he. And there would be changes and ways that life had shaped them differently than they remembered each other. Because it was a lot of years. "It's okay, we will figure everything out, okay?" he spoke with a lower voice and kept his eyes closed for a moment longer. Just a moment longer.

Citrine looked towards her sister when she took some offence to the way that she had spoken two seconds ago. Then realizing that Celest had talked about the dog and not the event unfolding, closing her eyes for a moment. "I thought you talked about them," she waved her hand towards the direction where they were headed from, and let out a sigh. Not that it wasn't an easy task for the two sisters to have one if not many situations of miscommunication or where the other forgot to listen  - or chose not to listen. Citrine sat down in the arm chair, well it wasn't because she couldn't see the cute in their parents situation either, but she thought it dangerous as well, because even if this moment of passion had hit them, then what if it would just lead to another heart break? Citrine had already put enough of the blame on her shoulders, given her own relationship was why they had chosen to flee.

“You promise me?” she whispered, begging that he was right. That they would figure things out, that everything would end up alright. Not knowing how Clay would take this, or Amelia for that matter. Especially after they had found her father, her husband that she had thought were dead. Now she was standing here in the arms of another lover that she had never thought she would see again. Feeling horrible that she had managed to not only forget one daughter, but three. And to that also two loves that had meant so incredibly much to her. If she was being honest, she was also afraid what this would do to Clay in a whole other way, especially with everything else happening around him. His father, his really good friend and a woman he also loved more than just a friend. Everything was just so much more complicated now, but if he said that they would figure it out, she had to believe it. What else could she do really?

“Mmmh, I figured” she hummed shaking her head a little licking her lips as she looked towards her sister and titled her head. There was a couple of years between the two of them, Citrine being the oldest, she had been around nine or ten when they had left Wonderland, not really understood what was going on, and why their mother couldn’t follow along. But now they looked like they could be twins or that Celest was older than Citrine. “What is eating your mind?” she asked, putting away her book and placed her hands behind her knee and pulled it towards her chest.

"I promise," he whispered back to her. Knowing they couldn't do much but try to figure things out, and he would gladly promise to do so. Each of them had stories that needed to be opened for. Then there was the fact that they had two girls who endlessly had missed their mother for so many years, one blaming herself more than the other, two very different girls, sometimes so different that you wouldn't believe they had been raised by the same person. Perhaps it was where you could see so clear how different people handled traumas, how they each coped. "You want to go see the girls?" He asked, letting his finger trace a lock of hair behind her ear as his eyes kept locked with hers.

Citrine folded her lips together refused almost to turn around and look at her sister when she asked what was eating her mind. Everything was eating the hybrid's mind, the blame and guilt she kept putting on yourself over so many years, how could she do anything else when she knew that it was her own foolish little love affair with an imp that had rushed them here. Of course, Citrine knew it wasn't all the story there was more than just her little sin of falling in love with someone she should have stayed clear off. But when it came down to being angry at someone, it was so much easier for her to just be angry at herself. "Everything," she took a sharper breath in and then licked her lips and took a larger mouthful of her drink. "But its okay, its just my inner control freak that doesn't know how to deal with that," she waved her hand to the situation they just had left and then turned around giving her younger sister a slight smile.

Birdie let out a shaky breath and then nodded when he asked if she wanted to see the girls. For a moment, she let herself close her eyes to feel the sensation floating through her as he pushed some hairs behind her ear. Then she opened them again, smiling at him. “I would love to go see the girls”, she said, nodding, and as she took a step back, her hand found his; she started going towards the house that he and their daughters had come from. As they neared it, she could feel how her throat was hammering in her throat, making it almost hard to breathe. Reuniting with the daughter, she had thought she had lost– now that something else entirely.

Celest felt a small smile creep up on her lips as Citrine told her that everything was bothering her. “Well, take it from me, the more you try to rack your brain about it, the worse it will get, and I think you’ll get your answers in due time”, she mumbled, looking back at her book as she could smell their parents coming closer to the house.

With another deep breath, she looked toward Zayden and walked with him inside, standing in the living room looking at the two girls that looked almost like when they had left Wonderland. How was that even possible? Celest closed the book and felt how she needed to focus on just breathing for a while, standing there - it was like the world quieted down, and everything slowed. The mother they thought they would never see again stood there right before them.