Hypnic Jerk

He nodded a little, “I am also trying,” he said with a soft smile, “And it’s perfectly fine that we’re trying,” he said and took in the look of her eyes. Pretty, pretty eyes. She then explained how she had mood that made her unable to get out of bed, and then offered him a key to her place, “I would like that,” he said with a light smile. She already had a key to his place, but it was also because they had been at his place so often, and because… Well, because things were different with Hope. Not to be cliché, but Hope was giving him more hope in his life, and he appreciated it very much. On the other hand, Ace never really felt his home as a place where he could be at peace by himself. It was more of a place where he worked, could sleep and eat. It wasn’t really a home. Of course, the first floor was a place that he liked to have for himself, and really liked to share with Hope. But was the first floor a home? Maybe.

An almost girlish grin formed over her lips as he said he would like that. A pressure that she hadn’t even noticed on her shoulders, lifted and she felt like she could breathe better than before. Maybe she had thought that the thing that they had would be ruined when he saw the real Hope. The one that was always fighting against herself. A constant battle of which mood would win, she would almost go as far as talk about a split personality. Not that she had one, but she was so good at hiding away her real self, that it sometimes was like a stronger resurfaced and let all the emotions she was keeping away explode. Either in total paralyses or in a fit of anger where everyone should steer clear of her. “Well, then, we should probably drink the tea, now that you were so insistent that it would become cold” she chuckled with a small teasing smirk looking towards her dresser where the two cups were standing.

A light smile spread on his lips, and he let her get out of his embrace to get the tea. He followed and took the other cup, taking a sip of it while he stood close to her. “It’s good,” he complimented and looked up at her before he turned and leaned against the dresser. “Does it bother you?” he wondered, taking in her facial expression for a moment, “That I know your sister?” he wondered, hoping she would relax and talk with him instead of dodging the question. He knew that there were so many things that could be bothering her right now, but as of for right now, it might be the easiest for Ace to ease Hopes mind about his relationship with Ayah.

The smell of the tea hit her nostrils as she took up the cup and directed it towards her lips. Her eyes flickered towards Ace as he asked if it bothered her. Not knowing what he meant, she waited for him to elaborate on what. Her brow raised a little as he added the part of him knowing her sister. Once again, she felt that twist of jealousy in her heart. Her eyes looked down at her tea before she took a sip, giving herself the time to think how she wanted to phrase herself. “Maybe at first, but not for the reason one might think” she started licking her lips as she put the cup down and turned around, so she could lean against the railing that made sure that you didn’t fall down when you were on the first floor of the apartment.
“It’s just” she closed her eyes letting out a small breath of air “both Ayah and Mariella are so different for me” her eyes opened but she looked down at her naked feet rather than at Ace. “They are so open, so easy to love because of their nature - and I, even if I got light magic, are dark, twisted and so closed off. And the fact that you threw me out, because I got to close, and then finding out that you not only live very close to Ayah but are also very good friends with her - I don’t know, it was just hard to explain, I just wanted to keep some of the small happiness that I had in my life for myself, especially since it seems to be so fickle” her eyes had finally found his again, hoping he would be able to understand where she was coming from.

He raised one brow looking at her, wondering what she meant, with it being another reason than what one might think. What reason was it then? He let her take her time with moving around and form the words she wanted to say. He turned his body so he could look as directly at her as possible, even though she was looking towards her feet. He raised a brow as she explained that her sisters were different from her. He listened to her reasons. His eyes met hers as she looked up at him. “I get it,” he said and nodded a little, putting his cup on the dresser. He crossed his arms and looked up at her again, “You know, I only threw you out because I was afraid of losing you, right? Because I was certain, that you would take my heart if I let you stay a moment longer,” he said keeping his eyes on her. “That feeling, is something I only have for you,” he licked his lips, “The feelings I have for you can’t be compared to the friendship I have with Ayah,” he said and looked quite seriously at her. “I know you said you wanted to keep his small piece of happiness to yourself, but you got it, all for yourself. I’m not going to be sharing myself to anyone like I share myself with you,” he explained. “Does that make sense, or more importantly ease your mind?” he wondered and furrowed his brows a little.

She nodded when he asked if it made sense, and it did ease her mind. She just didn’t know what to say to it, not at this very moment at least. Because it was a lot to take in. That he had thrown her out because he was afraid. There was just such a deep-rooted fear in her that was sure he would abandon her. That he would one day wake up again, so angry because he was afraid and then just tell her that she could stay or that she had to leave right away.
“I don’t take this lightly, you know” she whispered, looking him straight into his eye. “I don’t use this much time with anyone, and I would never have slept with you in the first place if I wasn’t sure that I wanted you” she tried to ease his mind, not even knowing if he wanted to hear all of this. But it was important for her to let him know, that even if she had not hold herself back after she had left Jamie in the sense of being intimate. It had always been where she was sure that people weren’t feeling anything real for her. Because if they had, she would just have left before it had gotten that far. So, when the things had started to get serious with Ace, she had embraced it instead of turning on her heal and run off.

“I know,” he whispered back to her. He pulled on a smile as she mentioned that she didn’t use that much time with anyone and that she wouldn’t have slept with him unless she was certain that she had wanted to. It made him chuckle a little and look towards the floor, shaking his head, “I am amazed that you still wanted me after that,” he said and looked up at her, “I uh,” he licked his lips and scratched his jaw a little, “I haven’t really been with anyone since then,” he said and let his hand find his neck, almost embarrassed. It was far from everyone who had been as inactive intimately as Ace. Not that it was a competition or anything, and if so, he had lost that now. “I’m glad were on the same page,” he said with a light smile at some  points they weren’t alike at all, and others they were, he was just happy that they seemingly could make it work.

She gave him a small smile when he explained that he hadn’t been with anyone since. That was a long time where you just gave everything up when it came to being invovled romantically or intimately. Now she couldn’t say the same, but she understood the need to pull yourself away and just be on your own. Even if they had done it differently, the outcome was still very much the same. You just didn’t let anyone close enough. Besides, Ace had friends. Which wasn’t really something that Hope to say that she had, she had Elroy, they could perhaps categories as friends. Even though it had always been more work related between them.
Nodding when he told her that he was happy that they were on the same page. “It would seem that we are” she whispered giving him a slight smile before she pushed herself away and walked towards him. Her arms folding behind his neck and her fingers find the back of his hair.  “I’m glad you came today” she whispered softly letting her eyes look into his.

The smile she gave him was mirrored. His brows raised just a little as she wrapped her arms around his neck and started to caress him, running her hands a little through his hair. His hands found her waist and slowly moved towards the lower back. “So am I,” he spoke softly, watching her light eyes. He leaned his head a little closer to her before he closed his eyes an placed a gentle kiss on top of her cheekbone. He leaned a little closer to her, closing the embrace a little for a hug. “Now, drink your tea,” he whispered to her before he slowly leaned away, raising his brows a little of her with a hint of a tease. They had just discussed how her tea would get cold if she left it, and now she had left it to be in his embrace instead. He didn’t mind it, he actually appreciated it; his embrace being more important than tea. He at the same time wouldn’t mind if she forgot the tea to stand in his arms, because to him, he just wanted her to feel fulfilled, and she certainly didn’t feel that if she shut everyone out.  

It was like she melted into his embrace as he pulled her closer. Every small stroke, touch or pull made her feel things that she hadn’t thought would ever be possible for her to feel again. She understood now why he had thrown her out the way that he had done. Not that it made it okay, or that she felt like it was a thing that she could truly forgive him for. But she understood, which was progress from last time.
It was scary to let someone in again, to open yourself up for being hurt and to experience heartbreak. “Okay, okay” she laughed shaking her head and got out of his embrace and turned around so she could pick up her now lukewarm tea and took a sip. “See, still good” she tried to hide that it would have been much better, had she drunk it as it was still warm. But that didn’t take away the fact that she still stood by the fact that she had wanted to take a bath and get away from the conversation they had been having before.