Bright lights

Tien’s smile spread, almost like a little shy girl who was complimented, even though he simply winked at her. “I’ll keep you up on that,” she assured him, secretly wanting to be taste-tester for everything he made.
Tien was not going to let small failures get her down today, or at least, that was what she was aiming for. She couldn’t really help but start humming as she unfolded the blanket so they could sit on it. She sat down and looked up as he pulled out the thermos flask. She pushed away the memories of alcohol which was brought to parties like that. “Yes, please,” she said with a wide smile, making sure her hands weren’t in the way when he poured. She wouldn’t want to get burnt. When he handed her the cup, she folded her hands around it and looked up at him as she tanked her. “I’m always up for adventures,” she assured him, “No matter how mysterious they are,” she added and sipped her cup. She wanted to help with pulling out the food, but it was also minimal how much she could help. On the other hand… Some of the things he took out, she made sure was divided and moved around on the table, to make sure both of them could reach and so everything wasn’t clustered to one spot. “It’s also nice to see something that you don’t see every day,” she mumbled and glanced up at him, “It’s been a while since I went to a place like this where it has just been… You know, down to earth and without friends and you know,” she shrugged with a little smile. She didn’t think much of the fact that she indirectly didn’t categorize him as a friend.

“Good” Max said with a smile as he turned to look at her for a moment, at least until he turned back to the food and got the rest out of the basket. Then he put it away and placed it beside him after he had gotten out the cutlery for them. As he sat down, she explained that it was nice to see something that you didn’t see every day. He agreed, it was nice. Especially with a job like his. Even though it was so tempting to just stay at home, spend the whole day in a coma in front of the tv and only moving from the couch to the bathroom when you had to go. But every once in a while, it was important to let yourself explore things that you hadn’t done for so long.
Then she said something that made his brows press towards each other, not that it hurt him the way she phrased it, but rather. It made him curious. If he wasn’t a friend by now, was he still a guardian angel to her? “What, I’m not a friend?” he teased and let out a small laugh, looking at her with a soft expression, so she was sure that he weren’t angry nor upset with how she had said it.

She noticed how she furrowed his brows and she quickly looked towards him, making her hair spin a little. “No, I-” she cut herself off trying to pick her words a little wiser, “I don’t know what to say,” she said and shrugged a little hoping she could collect her thoughts. “I mean, you’re closer than a friend,” she said  shaking her head, not knowing if it made any sense.  “I, uh… Almost like family?” she tried to phrase it, but at the same time it didn’t feel like the right place to put him, but it was as close as she could get right now. She furrowed her brows a little, almost tasting it. “Does that- make sense?” she wondered feeling how her heart had picked a little speed, almost nervous about having hurt his feelings without that being the intention. Maybe she was just a little too good at saying the conclusion and not the whole story behind it. She hadn’t mentioned the calculation about how he was not a friend to her, but something more. She somehow had just thought that it was logical that she found him being more than just a friend.

He raised a brow as she added the part of family. Well, that was better than a friend at least. He nodded giving her a small smile “yeah it makes sense” he laughed placing his hand on her shoulder giving it a small squeeze “relax, you don’t have to be so tense around me” he gave her a tender smile and then turned to the small picnic they had made for themselves. Hunger was starting to spread so he quickly started to eat a couple of things and took a sip of his tea.
“So, how are things going with therapy?” he asked, giving her a softer smile than when he had joked about her being so tense. “If you want to talk about it of course” he added, knowing that sometimes you just wanted a day without thinking about it, but he still had to ask. Or he felt like he should, because he was interested in her well-being, and the best step on her journey was feeling like she had found a therapist that actually listened to her and helped her making the right decisions. He put a pickle in his mouth while he waited for her to decide just how much she wanted to share with him.

Tien pulled a small smile as he seemed to understand that he felt more like family than a friend. She still wasn’t certain if it was the right category, but it was a safe category and something that felt alright for now. Family. She pressed her lips together in one side as he squeezed her shoulder and told her to relax. She hummed a little letting him know that she knew that she didn’t have to, but she was still afraid of hurting his feelings on accident. She wanted to get her plate as clean as possible, not make it dirtier, and by that keeping herself friendly with the ones she held dear. With a short moment of silence, she started to eat a little. She looked up as he talked to her again and dried her mouth quickly with her mouth, only to pick up a napkin a second later to dry her hand. “It’s fine,” she replied as soon as she had swallowed her food and put her napkin away. “We’re talking a lot,” she laughed a little. Of course, one talked at therapy. “Things are getting better. I get new ideas and I feel like I’m better in the group therapy and,” she shook her head a little thinking. “Yeah,” she sighed. She almost had some kind of meeting every day. Some with her psychologist, psychiatrist, group therapy for both depression and for survivors, rehab and then a few extra meetings or events here and there. She was truly quite booked, and now that she was getting the help that she needed, it was honestly also too difficult to get time to do whatever she had been doing in the past, though it wasn’t even things she wanted to get back to. “Everything is just… Going smoothly,” she said and nodded a little. Even though they had only known each other for a month, she believed she had changed a lot. She didn’t panic and run off like she did in the start. “I’ve actually started to write down apologies on my laptop,” she said and nodded a little. It was one of the things that could bring her to tears when she sat with it, because she sat with it alone and if she wasn’t careful, her mind would take off.

A small smile formed on his lips as she explained that things were getting better. It made him happy to hear that she at least felt like there was progress in the many things she was going to. One thing was starting on therapy; another was feeling like it was working for you. Which it wouldn’t if you weren’t ready to receive the help given.
“Going smoothly”, he raised a brow. He couldn’t help the side looped smile forming because it almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself, but as she followed up with the fact that she was writing down apologise, the smile disappeared. An understanding expression took its place instead. “Sounds like you’ve come a long way; I’m thrilled to hear that you feel like things are going in the right direction,” he said, taking a sip of his tea “just remember to give yourself the room to make mistakes again, no one expects you to be perfect you’ve gone through a lot, and it takes time to heal, don’t try to speed through the process just because you feel like you should have gotten farther by now, or something like that,” he said knowing a thing or two about people just pretending that they were fine, instead of dealing with the sorrow or pain that they had gone through. Everyone could fall and experience things getting too much and fall into the demons that could cause a person to make mistakes that could hurt the people around them.