A reason to exist

Dedicated for @Diego

DATE | 7th of june
TIME | Around 4 pm
WEATHER | Suns out and its hot, still very humid
ATTIRE | outfit


So, she had ended up taken the car, that was almost too nice to have standing around in the trailer park, but as she needed to go to work that night, she had gotten the keys from Diego she hadn’t been able to return it. Besides he hadn’t really told her when he would be able to drive her, so now they would be stuck with her turning up and the possibility that he would tell her to drive off again. And he hadn’t returned any of her text, and she hadn’t been able to call before it had been so late that she wasn’t going to risk having a grumpy beta in the other end of the phone telling her to bugger of.

Next day she was lying in her bed, she hadn’t been able to sleep that night. She had even taken sleeping pills but woken only an hour after she had lied down. So many thoughts about what that night had meant, and his words about that he would leave her. What would he say now that he wasn’t drunk anymore? She looked around in the small trailer filled with plants all over, before grabbing her phone to see if Diego had written to her. It was Monday and she knew that he worked at the Athena Academy, she could just park it at the parking lot send him a picture that she taped the keys under the hood. But some selfish part wanted to figure out his headspace after their night together. Plan was made, she was going to drop it of this night.


She was almost at his home, the windows were rolled down while she almost cruised through the streets, it was almost too warm to move around anywhere. Just as she was about to drive down Ellison Avenue when she picked up his scent further away, she looked around and saw a small playground not far away from where he lived. She then parked the car and walked out, as she came closer she saw the big werewolf sitting there playing with a little kid.
“Diego?” she said as she came a little closer pushing her sunglasses up in her hair and gave the small kid a small smile. That had been the reason she was kicked out? He had a kid.

The smile only became wider looking at the little kid trying to make a sandcastle, it was only as Diego said Hey that she looked up and the smile faded a little. She could understand hiding a kid, and even more now why he had thrown her out. “So, I’m guessing he is yours?” she asked and then looked back at the small boy trying to build more on top of the sandcastle. He was beautiful, and she just stood there for a while looking at him, thinking she would have one just like that hadn’t everything two years ago fallen apart. At least Diego and Danica hadn’t met when the anniversary date had been. The 15th of may was never a good day for her.
She shook her head a little “Didn’t mean to intrude, looks like you guys are having fun, just wanted to return the car” she stepped towards him pulling out the car key “This time, I can take the bus, so don’t worry” she was still smiling, the almost calm expression that came over her was so unlike her. It reminded her when she had taken care of her four siblings, going to the park getting ice cream and play on the swings, those had been the best parts of her life back then.

She looked at how they interacted with each other, and it was intense how it filled her heart. She never thought that she could be the person to walk into a relationship with a person that already had a kid. It was hard, mostly because she could never be the kids’ mother and it also meant dealing with the kids actually mother. But she quickly remembered that this wasn’t a relationship, it was just the man she had bonded with, nothing more than that. She took in a deep breath and tried to press down the emotions about that. When around kids, they were almost the most important, because they shouldn’t be subject to the problems that formed around a grownup’s life. Something she had tried very hard with the four other adoptive kids she had taken care of in the end as their parents never really were there. Only pulling them out at events where it was good press to be the people taking in orphans.

She didn’t reveal that she knew exactly what Diego’s son had asked, a bigger smile formed on her lips as Diego just told him to introduce himself.
She crouched down so they were on eye level “Hi Derek, my name is Danica” she said with a smile and looked at him “I’m so jealous that you got to play with sand today, I used to do that with my sister and brothers all the time” she stood up again and looked towards Diego “If it’s not too much trouble, I would love a ride home, I can even pay in ice cream?” she looked down and winked towards Derek, as it was more a bribe towards him than his father.

“Yeah we did” she said with a bigger smile “Mostly cities, my brother loved this movie called Godzilla, the first one ever made, so when we were done he could play this big green monster that would walk around trying to destroy the city and we were trying to pull him away” she winked at Derek, the smile if it was even possible, became bigger as she saw how excited that Derek became over the thought of getting ice cream, how could you not fall into the trap of just getting a little giddy over how precious this little guy was?

It was clear that Diego’s son wasn’t as good at smelling yet. Or he just didn’t share the same hatred against witches. She looked at Diego as he asked where the car was, “Oh just over here, I caught your smell and stopped before your house” she explained as they walked over to the car, what came next made her stop up and look towards them. “Gracias (Thank you)” she said and smile “sorry, I speak Spanish too” she said honestly.

She stopped up by the car waiting for him to open it so she could sit in.

“Oh, sorry” she said but it was clear it wasn’t really an apology; “guessing it’s your secret language” she smiled towards Derek that hid away in his face in his father’s clothes. She had done something similar with her sister, just with Latin. A language she didn’t really remember how to speak fluently, perks of being at a very expensive school in Paris, Spanish, Italian and Latin was one of the other languages that you could learn. One of the many things that she could blow peoples mind with, the same with her house and that she actually lived very clean and neat. Wanting to be a florist, the list was long on things that she could surprise people with.

She placed herself in the car and put on her seatbelt while waiting for Derek to be put in the back secure and sound as you should with a five-year-old. She leaned back and looked towards the little boy sitting in the back while Diego clearly seemed like he knew the way. “So, Derek, do you have a favorite animal?” she asked seeing if she could get some very cheap points by using her ability, it wasn’t magic so Diego wouldn’t get upset, and it was always something that kids loved. Like a party trick, the only thing she needed was knowing and then listing to it a couple of times then she would be able to do the exact same sound.

”A, bear?” she said with a big smile as she looked over confident the little boy nodded she had at this time turned around in her seat so she could look at Derek as he spoke to her. Then Diego asked if it wasn’t a specific one and it was clear just how much this boy loved the animal that he was saying. “And a grizzly bear at that, wow!” she said and then laughed a little, yeah there was no way in hell she was starting to sound like one of the most aggressive and violent animals of all. Not while Diego was driving anyway. Besides she needed to listen to how they sounded to be sure she could make it sound authentic.

“I will remember that! The reason why I asked is because I can sound like any animal or human that I’ve seen before, drove my parents nuts because I could trick them into thinking all kinds of things when I was your age” she laughed and leaned a little back “But in fairness sounding like a grizzly bear while your father is driving, might not really be such a good idea” she said smirking towards Diego, before turning her gaze towards the road.

Of course, he wanted her to sound like his dad, she started laughing and looked towards Diego as if she wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. But as she saw the small glance she smirked “Oh why not” she finally agreed and took a few beaths while thinking about what to say while doing his voice, was there something he liked to say when she had been around? Yes well, not things that was supposed to be heard by a kid.

“Hello, my name is Diego, I’m the big bad wolf – but don’t tell red riding hood, because I actually really like her” she said with the perfect replica of Diego’s voice, and then she started laughing with her own. She had never been able to dare that if it hadn’t been because of Derek asking her too.

She agreed with Derek; “Yes, yes it does” she laughed, and shook her head, she didn’t even know him that well but with his brooding and how he was walking around sometimes, it was clear that he was looked at as this big bad wolf, even as she had also seen the caring side. The one that he clearly hid away, and only let his son see. She looked at Derek sitting in the backseat laughing, just as she heard what he said. “What?” she felt how anger flared up in her she even tried to push it down, but it was hard, it was so hard. “You know what, I never asked for being a witch, alright?” she said with a low voice and looked away she even tried with the deep breaths, there was a kid in the back, but she was just so done with him pulling her close and then pushing her away with some remark of her birthright. She had seen the scars on his legs, she knew that it was magical fire, she knew that witches had done to him.
“I don’t do much magic, so stop always thinking the worst of me” she raised her voice, she shouldn’t have, she really shouldn’t. But sometimes it was hard controlling your emotions. If anyone would understand that it was a werewolf. But she didn’t think that Diego would give her that much leash.

The more he spoke, and how he spoke to her the angrier she got.
Got my reasons. Yes, by looking at other people and what they had done. It wasn’t her fault that some of the witches out there was insane, did he even know what most purebreds would do to her? And not only witches, werewolves too. Only for the reason that she had werewolf blood in her that wasn’t pure, little did they know that her father had been an alfa for one of the bigger packs in France, unlucky for her father’s pack that a whole group of hunters had decided that they didn’t want that anymore.
If you even want to deal with this or not. She really tried, she had taken so many hits from him, he had even spoken about raping her and she hadn’t put that against him! She had tried, tried so many times to excuse it with the very fact of what time had done to him.

The last punch was you can change your ways, or you can get lost.
“Are you serious!?” she finally got out “I’m doing everything I can, I even steered clear of you, not my fault you waltzed into my work and then told me that you wouldn’t leave me, but hey guess you just really like toying me around and then if I don’t accommodate your lifestyle, and how you want me to be I can get lost?” she swallowed her chest hurt so much from the pain. Would it ever stop? The pain every time he talked about him leaving or making her go away? She pressed her hand towards her chest “You have no idea what I have already done for you! But what, maybe you're wondering if I put a spell on you that night or something?!”

She had no time to explain, nothing to say in the matter as the words hit her like someone punched her in the stomach. Get out.
Tears sprung out in her eyes as she starred at him in disbelief, before they looked at Derek that was crying. She opened the door and stood out, only to her him tell her to call him. Like a mocking joke in her face, he was actually serious. She didn’t slam the car door shut even if she wanted too, only reason that she was holding back. Were because of his son on the backseat, she looked at how he parked the car and let his son come onto the front seat saw how he kissed the top of his head and then cradle him in his arms. Tears streamed down her face, as she then turned away and started walking. It wasn’t even in the direction that she was living, she was just walking away. Wanting nothing more to just be swallowed up, her head hurt but it nothing could compare to the feeling of how her heart felt right about now.

She needed something to numb the pain, she looked down on her feet as she left the car something that could quiet down the voices in her head telling her she would never be good enough. Telling her that everybody left, and she would never get what she truly wished for. Because she didn’t deserve it. Being with Diego, only made her believe it was true. “Now it ends, it ends now” she whispered putting her arms around herself, vowing that she wouldn’t call or text him anymore. Then she could just be alone, until hopefully she would be okay for someone to want to have in their life.

/out