What can I do for you? Do you need anything? (CW)

It had been six days since he'd last seen her. Six days of thinking about her at any given chance. He didn’t know how to explain it. It wasn’t love or desire. It was the need to feel complete and nothing at the same time. To escape and repress everything going on in his life and indulge in the emotions she'd made him feel. He felt guilty seeking her out because he knew that he was letting himself be tempted by her sin, but he couldn’t help it. As the days had gone by, the need only grew stronger. It was like withdrawal from an addictive drug, only he’d never experienced that before. His body healed immediately from the effect of drugs. He felt his heart skip a beat as he saw her walking towards him, as if it was fate’s plan all along for him to meet her outside of the club. He glanced down her body before he looked up at her face at the sound of her voice. “Hi,” he greeted with a smile on his lips. He then stopped a meter or two away from her. Her mere presence was enough to satisfy a slight part of his craving, but it also made his mind tell him to go a few steps closer to her. “No, I actually came to see you,” he replied, looking into her eyes, feeling like he could drown into their depths. “I… to be honest, I’ve not been able to put your out of my mind,” he admitted. He didn’t think she put a spell on him, although he certainly had thought about it. However, he'd tried that in the past, and this was different. It had to be an ability of hers, and whether she unconsciously or consciously had used it on him, his mind didn’t really care. All it cared about was feeling that euphoria again.

He glanced down at her rose-colored lips as she bit into her lower lip, not helping but wonder what it would feel like to kiss them. He looked back into her eyes, wondering if her thoughts about him had been anything like the ones he’d had about her. Just imagining it made his stomach flutter. And perhaps this proved that fate played a part. Aiding him with the one thing he felt like he needed more than anything. His smile brightened as she invited him home to have a drink with her. “I’d love to,” he replied. “And I do drink… but I'm only going to feel drunk on you,” he admitted, glancing at her lips again before returning to her beautiful eyes. It wasn't even a line. It was simply the truth. He needed a lot of alcohol for his body to feel the slightest drunk, but all it took for her was a single touch. His breathing became uneasy the moment she stepped towards him, only making him want to close the gap between them even more. However, he restrained himself from doing so. Instead, he inhaled a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. He knew that this was a bad idea. That if he gave in to her invitation, he’d probably give further into the feeling. And perhaps it'd even consume him. Yet it didn’t feel bad or wrong of him. Not at all. “Where do you live?” he asked her. Whenever she'd continue walking, he'd walk along beside of her.

The moment she placed her hand against his chest, he stopped breathing altogether. He just looked into her mesmerizing eyes. That first touch was enough to make the emotion he’d craved emerge inside of him. Telling him to touch her so he could feel more of it, but he was as frozen in place. She then returned his flirtatious remark, making the nervous flutter intensify in his abdomen. As she moved her hand up to his cheek, he glanced at her lips once more, almost involuntary. But he didn’t back off or lean forward. Instead, he battled the conflict inside of him. A part of him told him. No, begged him, to touch her. The other told him that this was against the rules. “Great,” he replied, smiling briefly before he felt her hand in his. He was grateful for this. After all, his whole body ached to be in contact with her at all times. And perhaps she knew this. They didn’t walk far before they arrived at her apartment, but he didn’t take a moment to look around it because all he did was look at her. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, lowering his gaze from her face to her cleavage, then down her dress to her heels. She was attractive, no doubt, but what he felt when he looked at her was much more than that. It should probably scare him. Make him realize that he should leave before it got the better of him. But it didn’t. He stepped closer to her, reaching his hand out to touch the soft skin of her neck. Feeling a tingle of electricity against his fingertips. “I have to confess… I didn’t only think about you. I yearned to be with you. To feel your touch against me again... Now at first, I thought it was nothing. But the feeling only grew stronger by each passing day,” he admitted, looking into her eyes with a rare longing. He wondered if other men had told her this. But for some reason, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the feelings she fulfilled to him. “I hadn’t realized how attached I’d gotten to you,” he continued, tracing his fingers up her neck. “How dangerously addictive you could be,” he said in a low voice. His inner voice telling him repeatedly to screw the rules and give in to the feeling. And in a moment of weakness, he did. He leaned in to kiss her. The moment his lips touched hers, it felt like fireworks were going off inside of him, giving him a much stronger feeling than the one he’d gotten from her touch. They were otherwordly. He deepened the kiss, placing an arm around her back to pull her closer to him, completely overtaken by the feeling.

He allowed himself to indulge in her sweet taste. Craving it in an unfathomable way. He moved his hand further up her back to the edge of her dress, slipping his fingers inside of it and resisting the urge to rip it apart. But all he wanted was to feel more of her. He aided her to take off his jacket before he repositioned his hands on her. Her moan sounded like a sweet melody, adding yet another thing about her that he couldn’t get enough of. As she’d unbuttoned his shirt and traced her fingers up his chest. It felt like she was sending elated impulses through his body. Taking him to a place of exaltation. And at that moment it felt as if all morals disappeared from his mind. Michael was taught to abstain from sexual immorality, to know how to control his body in holiness and honor, but near her, that control was completely lost. All he could think about was the feelings she caused. As their lips parted, he opened his eyes, letting out a deep breath. His heart was racing in his chest and the emotions tempered with his mind. He knew he’d kissed her in the heat of the moment. He knew that she’d made him fall from grace. That this was wrong, and that he shouldn’t have done it. Yet, everything inside of him yearned to taste her lips again, to touch and feel all of her. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time he'd pursued pleasures to try and fill the void inside of him. He looked into her eyes with a hint of conflict. But the desire far outweighed that conflict. At this point he realized that he was already in too deep, so he did another drastic thing. He lifted her up into his arms and walked towards a bedroom. He then laid her down into the bed as he rid himself of his shirt, but even those few seconds without her touch felt unbearable, so he quickly came over her, continuing to kiss her before he slowly moved his lips towards her neck. It was beyond lust and desire. It was a need beyond anything he’d ever experienced.

He kicked off his shoes as he continued the kisses down her neck. He wasn’t thinking clearly. In the moment, all he wanted was for her to love him, to seek some sort of comfort from the cruel world around them, and escape into the euphoric feeling only she brought him. His fingers traced down the side of her body, feeling her feminine curves before she flipped them around. He returned her kiss with closed eyes but opened them as she leaned back, looking up at her in awe as she took off her dress. He placed a hand on her hip, feeling the fabric of her panties in between her soft skin. He'd gotten hard the moment they kissed, and his body begged him to relive him from the pressure and remove his pants, but all he could do was look admiringly at her, slowly tracing his hands up her sides to feel the softness of her breast. He caressed it gently as he moved the other hand around to her back, pulling her close to him again so he’d feel her chest against him. He placed another tender kiss against her lips before he moved one of his hands down to remove his belt, grinding against her body in the same movement he threw it on the floor. His muscles flexed at the sexual tension that seemed to accumulate with every kiss. He wanted to take in the moment and feel everything at once. He knew that the intimacy wouldn’t last, but when you lived a life filled with loneliness and horror, even an ephemeral moment of pure joy made the world of a difference. So, he couldn't anything but cherish it.

He looked fondly into her eyes as she reached down to open his pants, saying the one thing he’d felt towards her since the night they met. It honestly terrified him. Even more so to realize that it was a deeper feeling entirely. Her breath caressed his lips as he slowly parted them, feeling completely enchanted by her. “Yes,” he replied in a tender whisper. His whole body ached to have her. All of her. And he wanted it too much. He knew that. He knew that was getting himself into a trap that he’d have a hard time getting out of, but in the moment, all he craved was this. And that pull was much stronger than any of his thoughts telling him to stop. He moved his hand up to her neck as he kissed her, while the other one reached down to remove his pants, throwing them to the floor as well. Only leaving the fabric of her thong and his boxers between them. He pressed his body against her in a grinding movement, feeling more of her warm skin against him. He was immensely aroused by her, but it was the euphoria from her touch that drove him wild. To the point where the world could be ending, and he wouldn’t even know because all he felt and saw was her. “Profoundly,” he emphasized before he flipped her around. Placing his lips against her neck again, placing sporadic kisses against it as he gently pulled her panties down. His other arm was resting by her side, keeping him slightly above her. He then removed his boxers before he entered her, feeling her warm and wet embrace around his member. He pushed himself deeper inside of her. The feeling sent him into a state of delirium. It was much stronger than the one he'd gotten from her kiss. He slowly stroked inside of her and clenched the sheet with his fist at the sensation before he leaned down to her again, looking into her brown eyes with a deep desire that only belonged to her.

He tugged the sheet harder at the way she grabbed onto him, fueling his lust. He kept stroking inside of her as she pulled him into a kiss, returning it passionately. He was under her spell, and by each passing moment, he fell deeper into the ecstasy. The moment she wrapped her legs around his hips, he let out a moan at the feeling of her closeness. He moved his hand up into her hair as he continued the kisses, feeling addicted to her taste. He felt the pleasure build up inside of him with each thrust, so he sped up his pace until the feelings got to its highest. He pressed his groin against her a last time as he came, letting out a deep moan as he felt the explosion of ecstasy flow through his body. It made every bone in his body overjoyed with the sensation. His hands were slightly trembling as he moved it up to her cheek, looking into her deep brown eyes and feeling like nothing mattered except being right here with her. He leaned in to kiss her again before he moved onto his back beside her, seeing stars as he looked up at the ceiling. “Wow,” he breathed out. He was so high on the feeling that he wished he'd never had to come down. He turned his face to look at her again. Knowing that they’d done it in a passionate moment. But he couldn’t help himself. And regardless of the many times he’d been able to resist sinful urges, one glance at her took that all away. “I’ve not felt this good in ages,” he admitted before a smile slowly appeared on his face. He knew that she probably didn’t feel the same way. After all, who knew how many others craved her in the way he did. And how many of them she'd invited home as well. He then looked up at the ceiling again, inhaling deeply as he tried to calm his rapid heartbeat.

His smile widened as she said he was unlike anyone she’d ever met. She wouldn’t be the first to say that. But he couldn’t help but wonder what it was about him that made her say it. But as she said her next sentence, he looked into her eyes with a hint of realization of maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t only him feeling this urge to be near her. And that if it was true, then perhaps their meeting was destined bound. The thought surely seemed absurd, but he couldn’t help to think it, anyway. After she'd said the word greed, it kept reappearing in his mind. Telling him to put his sins of desire to death. And he knew that he should. After all, they could never be together. Yet, as she leaned down to kiss him again, he decided to put those thoughts on hold. He closed his eyes and returned the kiss tenderly, moving his hands around to her back. But the thoughts still crossed his mind. “You know, we should resist this,” he said, yet continuing to kiss her. “Because that greed could turn into an addiction, and that would be very perilous and wrong of us to allow,” he then said, stopping the kiss to look up into her eyes. He tried his best to do what he knew was right. But looking into those eyes was enough to make him surrender anytime.

He looked into her eyes as she revealed more things about her world. Their rules were so different from the ones he lived by. But when she admitted that she'd started to realize that it wasn’t all good, he placed a gentle hand against her cheek, caressing his thumb against her skin. It was sad for him to think about a world where one wasn’t allowed to have a family or feel like they belonged to someone. He wouldn't know what he'd done in his life without that. “It’s okay,” he said with a sympathetic expression. Perhaps that was the reason she’d come to Earth. To experience life in a different way than she had before. He traced his hand down her neck and then her shoulder before moving it to her back. He glanced away from her as she asked if they could just forget about all reasons against this and be with each other for this one night. And he wanted to do that. More than he already had. But it didn’t make it any less wrong. He then turned his eyes back to hers as she continued. “You think I could forget you?” he asked. Because although he perhaps should continue his life as if she hadn’t existed. That’s not how it worked. “I meant it when I said I couldn’t put you out of my mind… And every time I’m near you, I feel as if nothing could ever be that bad because you're with me,” he admitted, clearly conflicted about the emotions she brought him and why he hadn't been strong enough to resist his urges.. “If that isn't a good reason to slow things down, I don't know what is,” he said. “Because we can’t be together... Hell, my rules tell me to marry a woman before sleeping with her,” he pointed out. He felt weak for always finding ways around that. But he didn’t live a life like most other angels. He couldn’t have a picture-perfect family and work a 9 to 5 job. That had never been in the cards for him.

It was an impossible question to answer, because although it was less immoral, it still fueled the addictive emotion he felt around her. The one that wanted more of her every time she touched and kissed him. And he feared that there wasn’t a way to get out of that. But giving in to the craving surely had to make it worse. He couldn’t help but sense a glimpse of sadness in her eyes as he said they couldn’t be together. But it was something she’d ought to realize. And even more so if she discovered who he was. “I will stay… because I can’t help it,” he said quietly. Despite his many attempts and his battling thoughts. All he wanted was to feel her in his arms for eternity. “I can’t resist you,” he admitted. The more he looked into her eyes, the more he fell into the depths of his emotions towards her. He slowly moved his arms around her, tracing his hand up to her neck to pull her down for a kiss and forgetting the world around him.

His longing for her increased as the kiss continued, and he felt himself get aroused again. He traced his hand down to her ass, only satisfying the craving that he should resist. So instead, he ended the kiss and moved his hand up to her lower back. She then placed her face against his neck, making him look up at the ceiling as he tried to calm his unsteady breathing. Her soft caresses helped him do this. It made him focus on the warm sensation it created inside of him. He tried to think of the possible reasons for feeling like this near her, like she was some goddess of desire and love that even the strongest of beings couldn’t resist. Or where this strange hold on him came from. But more so, he wondered if she felt the same way. And if her admittance to feeling addicted to his kiss could compare to his own. He slowly ran his hand through her soft hair as he thought of this. He looked down at her at the sound of her captivating voice. As if he was ready to follow its command. Then hearing her reveal her real name. “Lenina,” he repeated in a low voice. “I like that,” he added, a faint smile appearing on his lips as he realized that he couldn’t think of anything he didn’t like about her. Except for maybe her profession. But that was just as much about him wanting to be the only one she was with. It was a stupid thought. But laying here with her, it was all he could think. For a moment he wondered why she’d told him her name to begin with. Because despite how much he wanted to see her again, he knew that it was wrong of him. And that it was for her as well. He leaned his head back against the pillow, looking up at the ceiling again as he continued to caress her hair. “What happens if you go against the rules of your world? Say... you want to be with a specific person or have a family of your own?” he asked her.

Their punishment was to be reprogrammed. He wondered if this meant that those enforcing the rules could access her mind and temper with things like morals and memories, making it impossible for her to stray away from the life they'd intended for her. The thought of them killing innocent children made him feel sick to his stomach. But as she said the next sentence, it managed to ease it slightly. Because at least that meant they never actually murder them. “So, if you ever decide on leaving New London, they won’t come after you?” he asked her. He'd noted that she said that they’d reprogram her if she returned. So, what happened if she didn’t? Michael didn’t know why he cared about this, but he assumed it had something to do with his unexplainable urge to keep her in his life. At the same time, he wanted to get free from that, having already felt the torture of waiting six days without her, which now had led to him sinning. For that reason, he couldn’t allow it to continue. Besides that, he only deemed it to be a good thing that her programming was starting to fail, making her think these things. Because it meant she was being led closer to God.