Art blocked

He followed her, but she didn't hear until she heard his voice. She moved her hand up to cover her mouth as she tried calming herself. Her hands were feeling like pins and needles, and she felt a little lightheaded. His words seemed a little comforting, but she could feel the hairs in her neck stand on edge. As she turned around she looked at him with confused eyes. Was he doing this to toy with her? He suggested to paint her and she felt a little relieved somehow. "Alright ..." she said a bit reluctantly. She held her breath as she looked up at him, looking into those ever luring blue green eyes of his. "But no nudes," she said, trying to sound teasing but she still felt the rush of blood in her body from her nervousness. She wasn't ashamed of her body, she just didn't feel comfortable showing so much to a practical stranger. Getting painted was a tedious process, but she didn't have any plans for the day. As they walked back in she felt herself relax more, but her fingertips still felt a little tingly, seen as she kept clutching her hands into fists.

This felt a little weird, she felt nervous as if she was going to take a test, but she was just going to sit still. She looked at him as he moved the chair, moving with him and sitting down with her back straightened. Her blue eyes followed his movements as he gathered his material, making her wonder if he knew what to do before even touching the canvas. She was always creating things from raw emotions, so she didn't know how it would turn out before she let go of the piece. He seemed so confident and she felt her eyes so fixated on him. "Do you want me to sit in a specific way?" she asked, smiling a bit nervously as she looked down to her hands in her lap. Why did she feel like this? Like he could see her clearly, like she couldn't hide even the smallest of secrets. Swallowing she looked back up at him, a faint smile on her lips as she looked at him. "Tell me something fun about you, besides being tall, handsome, charming and artistic," she chuckled, feeling a little silly sitting here to be spectated by only him. She had only seen something like this in movies, and it made her head wonder. Wonder if he truly felt nothing when he looked at her, if what she felt as attraction was just her own projection.

Nodding at his instructions she simply breathed in and out as normal as she could, however she couldn't help but giggle as he told his story. The imagery of a young kid running around like that was heartwarming, making it all the more fun. "I gotta give it to you, that's the best story I've heard all year," she said, still chuckling from time to time. It felt so nice to laugh, being light hearted like this seemed to calm her nerves. She smiled lightly, looking down for a bit before looking back up at him. He was nice, gentle almost. "I wish I had stories like that," she said, smiling at him sweetly. "But I can't remember much of my childhood," she confessed, watching him carefully place each color on his palate.

"I mean, of course my parents tell me stories of my childhood, but I can't place them anywhere," she said, watching as he moved closer. She felt her heart beat faster in her chest, feeling his breath next to her face. She followed his finger, looking at the vase as he asked her to, feeling her breath halter a bit at the fact he was this close. She closed her eyes as he walked back to his canvas, making sure to take a few deep breaths before opening her eyes once more to look at the vase. "I don't really know why, but I can remember my tenth birthday," she said in a thoughtful voice. Her eyes just looked at the vase, thinking the red color was a bit odd, but she didn't comment on it. "Because I celebrated it alone during a thunderstorm," she smiled as she looked at the vase. His words about nannies and his family being busy, she could relate to. "I had a governess, stern old lady that still believed in corporal punishment," she told, she could still remember the governess yelling at her during the storm. That Astrid was being silly for hiding under her bed, and how it wasn't lady like. "But a new nanny every week sounds awful," she said in a silent voice.

"Seems odd that your parents had to tell you how your life have been," he remarked in wonder. There had to be a reason why she couldnt remember, people wouldnt just forget their past. With anyone else he would have noticed the increased heartbeat and the haltering breath, but it was like with her, he was completely oblivious to it. He listened to her explain as she mentioned a memory, frowning a little as she said she had been alone - He knew that feeling quite well. That's why he told her a little about himself, though he never told anyone anything about himself, not even those he considered friends knew much about him. And still he found it so easy to tell her everything. He nodded as he painted, frowning a little at what she was telling him. "Rather have a nanny than a governess, if I have to be honest," he said, thinking it was no wonder she would have wanted to forget those memories now.
He finished the base which wouldnt take long to dry as it was just a thin layer of grey to remove the white. He cleaned the brush and placed it back on the table as he grabbed a new brush to mix up the skin colour. He looked at her before he started painting again. "I wouldnt have discovered my love for art if they had been there to watch over me all the time," he said as he tilted his head at the canvas, narrowing his eyes a little before he picked up a new brush for a darker colour of skin to contour the base skin. He looked at her, "Maybe I found consolation in those encaptured moments of paint all over the mansion. Facisnated by the way a few strokes of a brush could make out something meaningful," he explained, frowning a little as he found himself ramble. He never rambled - It annoyed him a little.

She knew it was odd to take in, but she had never known any different. Of course she wondered sometimes, why it was so many of her memories seemed gone. Although she had become used to being on her own, she did miss that closeness of her parents, but it had brought her to be quite the independent young woman she was today. She chuckled a bit at his words about rather having one than the other, making her shrug as she just kept looking at the vase. She listened to him as he spoke, feeling her heart ache a bit for him. She knew what it was to dream away. Exhaling, she chuckled a bit. "I'd like to buy a couple of paintings from you," she admitted. She hadn't seen it all, but she knew she would need that escape soon enough. "Next year I'll be officially entering the coven my parents are in, and a suitor will be set up with for me," she said with a smile as she looked sad for just a brief moment. When she had been young she had loved the idea of joining the coven, getting who she believed would be the love of her life given to her so easily. "If one is found for me, I will get to marry him within the year of meeting him, and I'll be giving him a child," she said, but she was mostly just venting what she couldn't just complain about to just anyone. She didn't mind rambling. "Maybe that was why I actually took the chance coming here," she chuckled, closing her eyes briefly to take a deep breath. "That even if you were a serial killer looking for your next victim, it was a chance to be taken away," she said silently.

"I'd take anything I could get," she confessed. She didn't really care if it was an old dusty painting that no one even liked. She just found herself reaching out for something, but all she was pulling at was straws. Nothing of real value. Maybe when she had fulfilled her roles, she could do like her mother, find a passion and maybe a lover if she was lucky. Breathing out she didn't notice him until he was right in front of her. Her eyes fluid as she looked at him. His hand this close made her hold her breath, scoffing at his words. Was the rest of her life going to be like this? A hand hovering over her skin, never to fully touch and make her feel something real. It felt absurd to think like this, because she had accepted it long ago, however it didn't mean she couldn't long for something more. Something exiting. Something that wasn't planned or decided for her. "It's alright," she said, sending him a smile. She told herself that she would power through it, that she would manage, because she knew she was strong enough to do it. "I'm rambling," she chuckled, looking down, and just with that her cheek brushed lightly over his fingertips. She froze, because her skin was tingling, tingling like her fingers when she felt her magic was out of control. Then she remembered his words, that touching made him uncomfortable and she kept staring at her hands as she separated her lips. "Sorry," she whispered.

Astrid felt speechless, as she could hear him curse, she just sat still. Was he going to scold her for not being considerate? He had taken her in to his private atelier and now she had done something to make him feel uncomfortable. He walked away, oh she wished he would grab her, touch her all over and just make her forget whatever obligations she had. She wanted to tell him to reach for her again, to tell him he needed to keep her close or she would collapse. However, no words came from her separated lips as he walked back, looking at the vase as he instructed her to, but she knew she had overstepped. Was she no longer worthy of being painted by him? She didn't look at him, looking at the vase as she felt the part of her cheek he had touched almost burn. "I didn't wake up," she mumbled, feeling afraid to speak too loud. She always woke up once he touched her, but it was like she was sinking deeper in to whatever this was. Her eyes carefully moved to look at him and she felt her heart beat faster. Did he really not like it or was it just something he told her? She could've sworn he kept looking at her like he wanted to grab her. She looked to his lips, wondering what they tasted like, if they were hard as rocks or smooth as marble. Why couldn't she just speak her mind like she always did? She gritted her teeth, biting a bit at the inside of her cheek to see if it would calm down the spinning sensation where he had touched her. "What ... What does Éloi Zacharie mean?" she whispered as she turned her eyes back to the vase. Maybe she just needed to clear the air, speak casually again.[/color]

It went from zero to a hundred he spoke so calmly before he was closer again. A small gasp leaving her lips as she felt his hand on her cheek, feeling his thumb draw along her lines. Did he feel the electricity too? Like her being was getting a strong kick from his touch, like she had been drinking a bit too much champagne. His warning she felt, making her neck hairs rise but all she could do was look at him. He could have told her anything and she would ignore any warning. "I wouldn't make it a meter before turning around," she whispered, knowing he was being serious in his warning, but she couldn't believe it. Was he telling her that he was hurting when he was touching her? Her hand moved up, touching his chin at first and she bit slightly at her lower lip. It was now or never, she had a year, one year before things would be decided for her, and right now she could do whatever she wanted. "Steal me away," she mumbled, reaching her hand up to touch his cheek, pulling him down to her, breaking the distance between them. She felt his breath against her lips, felt the hunger in her to experience some happiness, feel something other than despair. Astrid could hardly care right now if he would eventually get bored of her, she couldn't wait around. "Ruin me," she pleaded before she pressed her lips against him. It was like reality no longer existed as their lips touched, like nothing or no one mattered.

Part of her had feared that she would be the only one to kiss, and not get anything in return but he pulled her closer, returning the kiss with his smooth and soft marble lips. Feeling him this close could've made her heart stop, but as soon as it had begun it felt like it was over. He stepped away, saying what she deemed nonsense. Had she ever been kissed like he had done then? Felt her heart bursting trying to keep up with the emotions? "Every beauty needs it's beast," she argued, but she didn't see herself as perfect. She was a mess mostly, and she wanted to break out of the cage that held her captured, even if it mean he would put her in another cage. He came back to her, and she felt his lips against hers again, sighing against his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She could feel her heart in her throat, feel her body react so strongly to the way he was holding her close and making their lips clash. She moved to stand up, feeling her skin tingle all over, and she could feel herself lose her mind. He was intoxicating, his lips like the sweetest drug just for her, and his touch a constant reminder of what she thought attraction should feel like. She had meant her words, she wanted him to ruin her, because then she knew there would be no returning to the innocent girl she was. Something had to change, and she had decided to let it be herself. As he kept kissing her, she felt her hands rest on his neck, like she could strangle him, but her grip was soft, and more needing that anything. Perhaps it was her body trying to fight the fact that she would let him ruin her. "Is this going to help with your painting?" she whispered against his lips, looking up at him as she felt a little lost for breath, but she wasn't sure what to say. She could feel her body hunger for him, but she couldn't tell if it was need or despair.

Her arms wrapping around his neck just seemed to fuel his greedy side, tugging at her yearningly with his hands. Her soft lips were like the remedy he never thought he would beed this bad. Never thought that something as simple, as easy as the touch of someone’s, no not just someone. Her lips, how could they make him feel like his body was slowly burning up in sweet agony? She rose to her feet and he wrapped his hands around her waist to tug her body closer to him, her hands on his neck just seemed to be furthering the exhilaration that he felt. Could she really do it? He started to wonder but not for long as their lips seperated for him to look down at her with a trembling breath of a mixture of excitement and lingering surprise. Her words made his lips curl up in a smile as he shook his head, “I’m all out of my focus,” he replied in a low tone. She would be crazy if she thought he was done with her yet.
He moved forward with her, with his hands on her waist, guiding her to where he wanted her was easy. He pressed her to the wall to look at her with hungry eyes. He decided to give her one last chance, the last before it was too late, if it wasnt already. “Last warning, Astrid. You can go and move on with your life like this hasnt ever happened, or you can let me ruin you,” he warned her, moving his head down to her throat as he kissed her right where her pulse was. His hands on her waist let go to flatten against the wall behind her, even if she had made up her mind about leaving, it was like he had made up his mind about him not letting her. Letting what he deemed was perfection go? Had he gone completely mad? There was no way that she could ever untangle from the mess that she had gotten herself into with him.

As he started guiding her she followed calmly, soon feeling her back against the wall, looking up at him. She wondered what he was thinking, or if he was as lost as her right now. Her lips separated as he spoke, leaning her head a bit to the side as he kissed her neck. If she hadn't been so stubborn she would have been purring right now, moaning even if she had to be honest. His grip on her waist loosened, but how could she go? How could he warn her when she thought she knew what would happen? She could feel her fingers tingle, feel her whole body tremble as he continued his greedy kisses on her neck, feeling the light suction over her pulse that made her want to dig her nails into him. "I've made up my mind," she whispered breathlessly, moving her hands to his chest, holding them there to give them some room so she could look at his face. Her blue looked into his lovely mixture of green and blue that just seemed to change every time she saw him. "And it seems like you have as well," she said rather seriously. Her parents often saw her as a child, but did they know of the thoughts that lied beyond her forehead? She had always longed for something unusual, something that would make her lose control and just make things fly in whichever direction the wind allowed it to. She frowned, looking down to his chest where her fingers were twitching. It was always hard keeping it cool when other people were around. Astrid didn't want him to move away, to be fair she wanted him closer than ever, but she also didn't wish to hurt him. "Can I have a minute or two?" she pleaded, her eyes twitching as well now. It had been a long time since she had felt this uncontrollable, but something told her that it was Zach's doing. "I won't run, I - I just need some air," she said, as she let her hands fall down along his torso, past his abdomen before they fell to her sides. She kept clutching her hands into fists, trying to keep herself from going mad and giving in to the chaotic needs of her magic. Would he understand? Would he let her have a minute?

She knew it was an odd request, especially seeing as she was so willingly wanting him close to her. However she could not deny that she needed to gather herself, looking at him as he moved away. She almost wanted to grab him again, force him back to her and keep her right where she stood as his lips were on her skin, but that was not an option. Astrid watched him step outside, herself sliding down the wall until she reached the floor. Her hands quickly moving to her hair, running her fingers through it as if to calm herself. Closing her eyes she separated her lips, mumbling the same words over and over. Accipe causam ... Accipe causam," she whispered to herself as if it was a spell that needed to work. Her breath became calmer, her fingers still feeling like pins and needles, but it was manageable now, making her move to her knees at first. Her head seemed to be spinning still, forcing herself to keep her eyes closed before she shifted her foot forward to stand up. As she got to her feet she stood for a bit, not daring to open her eyes yet. She could still feel her magic at her fingertips, her fingers twitching just every once in a while. Slowly but surely she opened her eyes, her vision blurry at first as she took a step forward. Still feeling lightheaded she moved to the sculptures, needing to see something that could stimulate her vision, but not overwhelm it. She stopped at one in particular, seeing as it became clearer and she saw what looked like an opened chest. It looked real, but it didn't seem to disturb her, instead, she found herself getting more control as she looked at it. But something in her saw that it wasn't real enough, it was like it lacked the brutal reality, the blood, the smell. Why was she thinking like this? As she felt she had gained her control somewhat she walked to the balcony door, taking a deep inhale before stepping outside. The wind hit her face, and she walked to the railing, looking over the edge, but not at the view. No, at the way downwards. Exhaling more calmly she looked up, smiling a bit as she looked towards the horizon. "I have quite the unruly side," she said, feeling like she needed to explain herself. "I was not an easy child, and it only became worse once I hit puberty," she chuckled, but there was not really anything funny about it. Swallowing she looked to him, and she felt the need to stand by his side, look out at the city as if it was their domain, but was that not just a silly fantasy? She looked out to the city again, biting at her lower lip as she held on tight to the railing. Not that she was afraid to fall, rather needing to ground herself. "I wonder," she mumbled. "I wonder how you will ruin me," she confessed, looking at him once more.

He just let her have the space she needed, figured it was better than to figure out why she had needed air despite not wanting to run away. He lit the cigarette and drew in a long drag as he just kept looking at the city in silence, though his mind was always working on some thoughts, usually just a new project that he would have in mind. But he couldnt really find the focus to think about projects, when all he saw was faint glimpses of her lips, the memory of them against his making him lift his index to gently touch his own lower lip with a sigh that pushed the smoke out of his lungs. He turned his eyes to her as she appeared, watching her look down from the railing. He listened to her as she spoke, watching her more than the view ahead, placing the cigarette between his lips to draw in another deep drag of the smoke. He squinted his eyes slightly at her explanation, wondering what it was that she meant with unruly side. It definitely wasnt in the sense of him, he doubted that very much - The only other person he knew to be as screwed up with their views, was his cousin Josie, the both of them being so good at driving out the worst in each other.
He kept looking at her and not the city as he stayed a little in his own thoughts while the nicotine coursed through his veins, making his heart beat a little slower as relaxation fell over him, exhaling through his nose. Her mumble pulled him out of his head as he met her eyes with his. He had a thoughtful expression as he moved his eyes to his smoke, rolling it between his thumb and index, "Would you really want to know and have the suspense ruined?" he asked as he tilted his head a little to the side. He looked out upon the city once more, "I ruin everyone that stays around for too long," he confessed, placing the bud between his lips, though it seemed more to be a confession that annoyed him.

She felt like she was both constantly on edge and relaxed at the same time. Was that even possible? Looking at him smoke, she mostly looked to his lips. That hard marble look they had was just a disguise, they were soft and inviting. She wondered if she had ruined the chance of feeling them again, and perhaps that was what was really going to ruin her. A soft chuckle left her lips as he asked his question. Maybe he was right, but that didn't mean she couldn't wonder. His confession made her swallow as she looked out to the city, taking a few deep breaths. "Can you truly ruin someone if they let you ruin them?" she asked, watching a car in the distance driving further away. People from here looked like bugs, small and with no value. "Bend is not a synonym for broken, so what I'm asking for can be hard to accomplish," she said with a sigh. Maybe she was still a naive child. Thinking that going with the flow of the life ahead would end up being what she needed to find happiness. He was a siren, a seemingly wealthy one at that, a man of stature. All she had done was let fate decide her path. However looking over at him again she felt her body move by itself, looking up at his face before reaching her hand up to touch his lips. "What am I supposed to do," she mumbled, but it sounded more like she contemplated kissing him than actually asking him anything. She felt her heart beat faster as she looked into his blue green eyes, feeling the blood rush through her veins and some gathering in her cheeks. She let her hand fall from his lips, looking at the cigarette in his hand. Was she crazy? Was she unstable? She had never given thought to it before she looked at the burning end of the bud. Shaking her head a bit she looked back at him, wondering once more. "I want to get to know you," she then said placing her hand against the edge of the balcony as she looked at him. "I want to know why you can't feel anything unless you finish a piece, I want to know what scares you and what thrills you," she explained.