Four clover fuckers - Ethan

Vanessa was sitting on the swing, rocking back and forth in a slow manner as she was starring down Darren. Cetas had crawled up on top of the tower and was looking down at them with curious eyes. "This is bollocks, give up already," Darren moaned as his eyes didnt move from Vanessa's, he was sitting in front of her, looking up into the blue-green eyes of hers. "Like hell," Vanessa hissed but a smile was on her lips. Cetas slid down from the roof and landed elegantly on the ground as he stuck his hands in his pocket, approaching whatever competetion was going on. He poked Darren with his knee that made the human fall over. He grunted and looked up at Cetas, Vanessa squealed with a happy smile and clapped her hands, "Eat shit," she said with a friendly smile as she shone with her victory. Darren grabbed her leg and yanked her off the swing, making her scream before she landed in the gravel in front of him. "What the hell Darren?" she exclaimed as she looked at him. Darren giggled and turned to Ethan. "You good blud?" he asked, keeping a firm grip around Vanessa's leg.

Ethan had always felt the odd one out, but in this group of friends he found himself more accepted than anywhere else. He kept silent, smoking the last cigarette in his pack, that he had lit with a sigh. Money didn’t come easy for him, but he refused to borrow or be taken pity on, but he wouldn’t be a stranger to knicking things from people. Like borrowing a cigarette from Cetas or borrowing a lighter from Vanessa. He looked at his phone, the screen cracked a few places, but he was still able to make out what was written on the screen. He looked up shortly, snorting as he watched Darren pull Vanessa off the swings, but remained seated. ”Fucking hell,” he mumbled under his breath as he tossed his phone up in the air before barely catching it. Maybe that was why his screen were so cracked. He jumped to his feet, looking to Darren as he looked at him. ”Nah mate – Bit cheesed off  if I’m honest wiv ya,” he said shaking his head. It  was nothing major, like Vanessa’s fucked relationship with her dad or Darren’s past. Ethan was a simple guy, but his attitude made it hard for him to have a normal job. ”Ma dosh running low, y’know – barely got a quid left in ma bank account,” he said shrugging, not really caring. Money had always been a struggle, but hell to it if he was going to live on the street again for a while. ”Landlord’s a tosser, I swear, the bloke has it in for me,” he said looking to Vanessa as he scratched his neck.

Cetas turned his eyes to the human as he listened to him. The other two was listening as well, but Vanessa was trying to wiggle her leg out of Darren's hand, grunting and cursing as he held on tight. She could use her demon strength but it would just hurt him. "Let go," she muttered, Darren just giggled as he was looking at Ethan. "Tough shit man," he said as he scratched the side of his ear. He wasnt exactly rich either, but he had just been at Vanessa's place instead of having to look for his own, mostly because he feared what would happen if he was all alone with the mental feedback that would be in the apartment complex he'd stay at. Vanessa had helped him a lot with keeping his calm when the negative thoughts couldnt be filtered out. "You know you just have to say the words," Cetas said as he placed a cigarette in his mouth, letting the bud flicker in his mouth as he spoke, "Even though you probably wont, you're too stubborn and prideful," he added with a smile as he lit his cigarette.
"We could kick his arse bruv, that would show him," Darren said with a giggle as he then looked at Vanessa. He let go of her leg and pushed himself to his feet as he helped her up. "You're full of shit. You couldnt kick anyone's ass," Vanessa teased with a smile. She looked at Ethan for a bit before she looked away with a little smile on her lips. "I dont think fighting him would solve any problems," - "Yeah, you're right. But it would be hella fun," Cetas said, exhaling the cigarette smoke with a devilish smile. Vanessa scoffed and ran a hand through her hair, "Only because you're fucked up in your head," she said. She sat back down on the swing as she sighed shortly, "Ethan give me a push," she asked with a happy smile. "What, he gets to push you? Lucky bastard," Darren remarked as he giggled and shook his head as Vanessa gave him a long stare.
"Are we going somewhere soon, Cetas?" Darren asked as he looked to the demon. Cetas took a deep inhale from his cigarette as he moved a bit around, "Yeah, soon," he said as he looked at the two others, "Are we going clubbing, innit?" Vanessa asked, mocking the chav-ish way Darren and Ehan spoke, looking back at Ethan as she stuck her tongue out at him with a teasing smile. Cetas was awfully quiet, usually he would be way more talkative, but today he was distant and alert, like he was waiting for something. He kept moving his eyes around as he smoked his cigarette.

Cetas was being awfully quiet today, but Ethan was the type of guy not to ask questions in the open like this. Most of them were dealing with shit, and he didn’t blame anyone for not wanting to share. This wasn’t a fucking AA meeting, it was just hanging out and letting time pass. Ethan shrugged at Darren’s comment. He had had worse, but fuck that shit. Cetas added in to the conversation, scrunching up his face as if he had smelled something disgusting. ”That’s right – I am too fucking proud, but I’m still gonna knick ya cigs if I get desperate,” he said, gesturing to himself as if his pride was something that he was indeed proud of. Ethan couldn’t help burst out laughing at Darren’s suggestion, almost dropping his last cigaret, but he managed to catch it, burning his finger a bit in the process. He decided not to comment, making the others add in with their words and comments. He made a grin at Cetas, scratching his scalp through his dark hair. ”Kicking his arse would be banger, but I think it would get me into more trouble than good – besides, I would get traded as fuck in prison,” he said, strutting a bit, showing off. Vanessa asked him to push her on the swing, and he shrugged, grinning at Darren. He couldn’t always understand what was going on inside that guy’s head. Ethan liked Vanessa, maybe more than he should for a friend, but that was besides the point. He was a dumbass, but he wasn’t an idiot. Going after Vanessa would mean getting his ass served on a silver platter no less. He walked behind her, grabbing the two chains and pulling her back before giving her a good push. ”Ain’t ma fault all the lush ladies want a piece of me,” he said chuckling, inhaling his cigaret, letting the smoke fill his lungs and his system with nicotine. He gave her a few more pushes, just liking the small things. Darren and Cetas exchanged a few words, and he looked down as Vanessa spoke and poked out her tongue. He chuckled, grabbing the chains and pulled the swing to a startling halt, before he pulled her further back and gave her a hard push, hoping it would make her scream a bit. ”You don’t sound like a chav at all,” he said at Vanessa, chuckling to himself as he kept giving her harder pushes, having to jump to catch her further up. ”Besides, ain’t got no bread to pay for drinks – how would I even get to chat up some lucky lady,” he said before he looked to Cetas. He looked like he was hoping someone would show up, or like something was about to go down. ”Yo, Cetz, are ya packing smack or whut?” he asked, frowning as he thought maybe Cetas was starting to deal some of the drugs that his brother was producing.

"You're saying that like they have any meaning to me," Cetas remarked with a short whiled smile before he looked at Darren and Vanessa. He wasnt really worried about Darren, as the guy was always just messing about with her. But Cetas was unlike his brother, quite protective of his niece. It didnt always show, but when it did, it was bad. Darren chuckled at Ethan's remark about prison, "Nah real talk, yeah my man's good, man's got you," he said glancing at Cetas who laughed, Vanessa narrowing her eyes as she barely made out what that meant.
Darren scoffed at Ethan's words and shrugged like it was annoying him, but he quickly started laughing. "Man's better shut it before I hit him differently, yeah," he warned him through his laughter, but it was barely comprehensible. Vanessa smiled as she was swinging, enjoying the ride as Darren and Cetas were chatting. When pulled at the chains and pushed her harder, she grasped hard at the chains and squealed with surprise as she flew up high, laughing at the bottom of her stomach as she flew back. She held on tight and refused to say that she wanted off, just because she wouldnt give him the satisfaction. Darren looked at Ethan and tilted his head, "Dont even worry about it, our man's got p, he'll sponsor us, innit" he said, clicking his tongue as he spoke. "Man's got links yeah, check man's phone, read that, yeah, what that say, that says link five, blud, link fiveeee, aight? Dont worry about them bitches," he said all seriously as he shook his head, pulling his phone out to show him.
Cetas turned his eyes to Ethan as he spoke of smack and smiled a bit as he pulled out a bag with white powder that he threw at the human, "Always, Prideux finest," he said as he resumed looking around. His eyes stopped moving as he saw something, before he nodded in the direction, "Let's move," he said in a determined tone. Vanessa frowned a bit worried as she knew this usually meant that Cetas had someone to beat up. She sighed deeply and rubbed her templates, "You're crazy, Chet. Who is it this time?" she asked as she soon followed. Cetas shrugged, not really in the mood to answer. He was quick to catch up to the guy, grabbing his neck and yanking him back. Vanessa gasped as she grabbed Cetas shoulder, but he shoved her back, "Chet, fucking stop," she begged as Cetas slammed the guy against the wall, "You like going around talking to my niece? Trying to get with her 'n such?" he asked. It wasnt a new thing that Cetas would beat up any guy that showed a slight interest in his niece, and Vanessa felt bad as it was mostly her fault. Darren grabbed her shoulder and sighed, "Jam ya hype Es, man's already vexed" he said in a low tone before he looked to Ethan like he was asking for back up in this. The man stared at Cetas with confused yet scared eyes, "You got it all wrong, mate," he said, lifting his hands up as he really wasnt looking for a fight.

”I don’t want any of your linking, bruv – besides I got ma own list, so stop chatting like you big,” he said chuckling at Darren that were going off about how many women he had something going with. He shook his head. Ethan was known as the skirt chaser, but he wasn’t really the bad type. He just liked the hunt, but actually prefered having to fight a bit more for it. Maybe that was why he still hadn’t shaken that feeling for Vanessa off. He liked her, she was just a person that he thought most people would like, but he had seen a side of her few had. That scared girl that was hiding underneath her giggling right now. It had been by accident, he hadn’t intended on crashing at her place then, but after that night things had changed. They hadn’t done anything, far from anything, but they had stayed up. Just him chatting, making her feel a bit more calm before they eventually both fell asleep. Ethan actually wondered if she remembered that night or if it was locked away somewhere. He let go of the swing, catching the small bag with both hands. He held it to his lips shortly, sighing faintly as he rubbed it between his thumb and indexfinger. The wisest thing would be to throw it back, but that shit was like a small piece of heaven and way cleaner than shit he could buy on the streets. ”Thanks mate,” Ethan mumbled before stuffing it in his underwear. It was safest there, and he wasn’t risking getting caught with shit like that in his front pocket. Ethan sensed that Vanessa knew what was going on, but he silently moved with them. His cigaret had burned down to it’s bud, and he put out the remaining ashes against the sole of his shoe, jumping a bit to keep up with Cetas’ fast pace.

Ethan took a deep breath as he heard Cetas start threatening the guy, but there wasn’t really anything that he could do. ”Cetz, the bloke haven’t even done nuffin’,” he said, stepping forward, leaning against the wall beside the man whom Cetas was keeping a firm grip on. His blue eyes looked at the guy, then at the demon. ”Come on bruv, let’s just move along,” he said a bit annoyed, scratching his cheek, making slight red marks against his pale skin. He pushed off the wall, walking over to Darren and Vanessa. If Cetas wanted to beat that guy up, Ethan didn’t want to be part of it, mostly because he wondered if that would be him if he someday mustered up some fucking balls to do something about the things he felt around Vanessa. He shook his head at his own thoughts, keeping them blank again. It wasn’t easy when he knew Darren could read his mind with ease. ”I’ll rather go get legged or some shite – maybe even get a taste of that fucking glitter ya tossed me,” he said, shrugging as he started moving away. Fucking hell, he just wanted this to be a chill day, why Cetas and Darren always spoke about beating people up was something he didn’t really understand. He liked a good bar fight, but who didn’t. ”Cetz, what if I was that fucker?” Ethan said, frowning as he turned around to look at Cetas. ”I’ve been chattin’ at Vane just as much as Darren, aight? So fucking chill – you need to get your dick wet or go nut,” he said in an annoyed tone.

"Mate, I'm joking," he said, shaking his head. Darren wasnt exactly sucessful with the ladies, as he rarely approached anyone. With the ability to know every thought before even talking to someone, it was hard to find courage to actually attempt to talk to anyone. He liked Vanessa, but wasnt pursuing anything, when he already knew she didnt feel quite the same way. He had seen her bad sides as well, hidden beneath the person she was now, the fragile person she truly was. It was odd to know people without them saying a word, but Darren had gotten good at keeping his knowledge to himself. Especially with his friends, he didnt pay mind to anything he saw or heard from them, if it wasnt something they wanted him to know. Vanessa looked back at Ethan as he didnt toss the package back, but she didnt say anything. She looked for a while before she moved her head back, wanting to say something, but in the end she couldnt tell him what to do.
Cetas looked to Ethan with a confused expression as Ethan spoke of chatting up Vanessa, "You better hope I dont catch you then," he just said as he looked at the guy. He clenched his fist and shoved the guy against the wall once more before he lifted two fingers, motioning them from his eyes to the guy, "I catch you around her again, you'll be found swimming in the atlantic like shark bait," he said in a cold tone before he looked to Vanessa and shrugged. They were going to go clubbing, he wasnt going to ruin the mood more than necessary. Vanessa pulled free from Darren's grip, stepping towards Cetas as she looked up at him with angry eyes, "I know you mean well, but I dont need a fucking guardian, Chet," she hissed before she moved away and went ahead, placing her hands in her pockets, her shoulders lifted in anger as she walked quite fast. Cetas watched her leave as Darren moved up next to him, "Man, let her cool off," he said as they looked to Ethan before they followed Vanessa's tracks.
Vanessa stopped at a club and smiled at the guard that quickly let her pass into it. She disappeared rather quickly in the meddle of people. Cetas walked up to the guard and placed a packet in his hand that allowed them access fairly quickly as well. Darren snorted and looked around, "So fucking happy that your dickhead brother made those pills," he mumbled as he felt a relief in not having to hear everyone's thought so loudly. Cetas went up to the bar, ordering shots right away as he looked at the other's, "Go wild," he said with a smile as he picked up a shot, "Cheers," he said as he quickly downed it.

This wasn’t funny, he just felt like disappearing for a few days. Where would he go? He had no money to his name, and soon not even roof over his head. He just needed to get his brain to stop so he could just care less. He rolled his eyes at Cetas’ words – to be honest it would have been easier if the demon had just punched him or something. He took a deep breath, looking as Vanessa moved out of Darren’s grip. Fuck he just wanted to do something, but that was clearly not something he should get a foot in on. Ethan moved behind Cetas and Darren, scratching his lower arm as he looked mostly down to the ground. Getting to the club he barely looked up before they were inside. Standing at the bar Ethan grabbed the shot as it was poured up, downing it with ease and scrunching his face up. The first few shots were always the worst, that was until his tastebuds went numb from the alcohol. He tapped the bar, getting a quick refill. ”Imma go … for a while,” he mumbled, frowning at his own action. He wasn’t really known as an addict, but right now he just wanted to feel high and good. Make the world disappear in a rush of numbness. He moved across the dancefloor, evading some people wanting to dance with him. He found one of the toilets, not really caring about what gender sign was on the door. Was he really doing this again? He had been clean this last year, and he was about to fuck it up big time. He walked in to a stall, not even bothering to lock it, reaching down his underwear to take out the pack. He let the fine packet run between his fingers. Just a little bit, he told himself, just enough to make reality to take it’s distance. Ethan closed the seat, sitting down on it, leaning back against one of the stall walls. The human had had a few run ins with drugs, so this wasn’t weird to him. What was weird was the reason behind it. He feared getting a bad high because of it, but he kept reminding himself it was all in the mentality of it.

A bit of power was placed along his own finger. He knew how to keep his hand steady when this shit was as expensive as it was. Placing his nose to the powder line he closed air supply to the other nostril and snorted the white powder in. He leaned back against the wall again, looking at the wall across from him. All the handwriting and phone numbers that littered the once blue walls. He blinked a few times, but he felt nothing. Why wasn’t he feeling it? He decided to give it a minute or two, but he felt nothing. Getting impatient he took another line, tapping his heel against the hard tiled floor under him. Fucking work, he begged in his mind, hoping that it would work if he asked himself. What felt like another minute went by, he scratched his already red arm and found his phone, texting Vanessa.

[To: Vanessa]
[From: Ethan]
[Message sent 23:49: Hi – fuck – I wanna hang later. Just the two of us. I feel like I need a good chat.]
[Message sent 23:50: I get it if you don’t wanna hang]
[Message sent 23:51: Fuck Vane …]
[Message sent 23:53: I get it]

Ethan shuddered, narrowing his eyes as he felt like he couldn’t focus. He shook his head, feeling his vision clear and took another line. He was already over what a human should usually take, but he just felt bliss right now.

[Message sent 23:55: I don’t wanna pretend anymore]

He felt like this high was giving him some courage, making him smile to himself. That was until he felt like his heart was slowing down, or was it jut his vision. He leaned back, staring at the ceiling with a blank stare. Was this what overdosing felt like?

Vanessa had just gone off to the darkest corner at the top of the club, looking out at the people dancing on the floor. She saw the three go to the bar and caught herself looking more at Ethan than the others, gulping as she looked away. She shook her head, it was silly that she felt this way. It was a feeling of safety, that he was someone who had seen her for who she truly was, not the one she was acting like now. She didnt show many that side of her, Darren had seen it on accident a few times, but the guy had just been sweet about it, but not in the way Ethan had been. It was different with Ethan, all so different. She sat down at an empty booth, scrolling through instagram as the messages popped up on her screen. She felt her heart race as she read the messages, her fingers instinctively writing replies that she kept rewriting or deleting. "Fuck," she mumbled as she ran her fingers down her face. What was she supposed to say? She shook her head and pressed the home button, right about to hop back on instagram when the last message appeared. She gulped as the banner flew back up, opening her messages soon after to just sit there and look at them, without knowing what to reply. She didnt want to pretend anymore either, or having to find guys that reminded her of him. It all just sucked, but she knew her uncle and the Prideux temper. It wasnt quick to spark, but certain things could culminate it into disaster. "If you only knew," she mumbled

Darren stepped into the stalls and pulled at Ethan's shoulders as he groaned, "Mate, you mad lucky, man's got that mind reading shit yeah?" he muttered as he pulled Ethan's arm over his shoulders, looking at him with worry. This was wrong, so wrong. He glanced back at the packet and shook his head, "You're mental, trying to kill yourself or somethin innit?" he asked with a disappointed tone as he placed Ethan next to the sink, placing a hand on his forehead. "You're overheating, blud," he said as he turned on the sink and looked at the human, "Calm breaths, yeah, blud?" he told him as he ripped off his sleeve and placed it in the sink. He knew how to handle most overdoses, a perk of having to live in the slum. He drenched the sleeve in cold water and placed it over Ethan's forehead, as he heard his phone vibrate. He took it and looked at the screen, then picked it up as it was Vanessa, "Es, man's not doing good, come down here," he said, barely able to hear anything for the loud music echoing around the bathroom walls, "The toilets, the bloody toilets, Es!" he almost yelled into the phone before he hanged up and looked at Ethan. "Look at me, look at me," he said as he placed a hand under Ethan's head, making sure he wouldnt drift off. He smacked his cheek a few times as he shifted between his eyes, "Calm breaths," he reminded him as he felt the start of a panic rise.
Cetas came in after a while, confused to see them both at the sink. "I swear to god, I should have given you babypowder," he said as he walked over to them and lifted Ethan up into his arms. He looked at Darren, "We're taking him to my brother's," he then said as he picked up his phone and made a call, easily able to hold Ethan up with one arm as he barked an order of a pickup. He moved out of the bathroom as Vanessa came down with her phone in her hand, Darren staring at her with angry eyes, "Told ya to show up, yeah?" he said in an angry tone as Vanessa just looked to Ethan. Her face rid of emotions as she didnt say a word but simply looked down. Cetas moved out of the club and got Ethan into the car that quickly arrived. Vanessa approached them but Cetas moved a hand out, "You stay here," he said, not really explaining why as he shut the door. Darren looked at her but didnt really say anything to Cetas' words as he got in the car and they drove off. Vanessa held her phone in her hands, clutching it tight to her chest as she felt tears creep up in her eyes. She looked away and made a silent whimper as she looked down at the screen, the text messages that were left unanswered.

She wasn’t answering, of course she wasn’t. Maybe she didn’t feel the same, but he just couldn’t let go. Maybe he was being selfish, but fuck it, he wanted to. He looked at the wall again, watching as the letters seemed to spin before staring blankly at the ceiling. The world was slowly becoming a blur, like a dream that was out of reach. He could hear the music vaguely, but it was like his ears were underwater. His jaw fell open, his saliva a bit more milky than it should’ve. He was so far gone that when his body was moved, he could barely react. He looked at himself in the mirror, but he couldn’t recognize himself at this point. Ethan tried closing his eyes, maybe sleep would be a good solution now, but Darren smacked him hard, making his eyes stay alert. Why could he see their lips move, yet hear no sound? He tried breathing along with what Darren did, but it mostly came out as hyperventilation. His body was indeed burning up, but he couldn’t feel that himself. Cetas picked him up, the human’s head dangling lifeless as the demon carried him. It had only been to make the world disappear for a while. He hadn’t tried killing himself. He just wanted to feel free and not worry about money or who he couldn’t have. It got dark around him, and he thought for a second he had fallen asleep until the light inside the car turned on. His pupils were dialated fully, he saw nothing yet felt like he saw everything. Where was Vanessa? He needed to tell her something, if he could only move. He started reaching for the door, however the driver noticed and made sure to lock the doors. Ethan pulled at the handle, but nothing happened, slamming his head against the glass with groans. Fuck. Get yourself together, he thought. He felt like he was going to be sick before he just leaned back and stared blankly at the roof of the car.

Eilish saw the car pull up, frowning slightly, but frowning for her just made her twitch her eyebrows slightly. She had gotten up to get a drink of water, staying as hydrated she could as to not dry out. The siren snapped her fingers, making one of the workers awake from his seated position, nodding as he understood her command without her needing to speak a word. Eilish liked having this kind of power, but she used it sparingly and only in situations that called for it. She walked to Samuel’s study, knocking on the door and peeked inside. Samuel Prideux. The man, the myth, the legend, and a man she was utterly taken by. She didn’t say much, walking to him, not really caring if he didn’t have time for this. ”Trouble is coming,” she remarked, knowing the cars that different people drove in. She knew that was one of the cars that Cetas used often. Eilish placed a hand underneath Samuel’s chin, looking at him with studying eyes before letting go. She wasn’t much for affection, never had been, but the small touches that she did give out were pure affection for him. ”I’ll get dressed,” she said, only wearing her nightrobe over her naked body. Then she moved upstairs, finding some clothes, opting for a teal dress with simple espadrilles on her feet. She came downstairs, just in time to see Cetas carry the more or less lifeless human into the kitchen, placing him on a chair that the poor man almost fell off of. ”What did you do this time, Cetas?” she asked, frowning as she looked to the three men. ”And where is Vanessa?” she asked, demanding an answer.

To many Eilish and Samuel’s relationship was an odd one, but she could care less about what other people thought. She had only confessed how she felt about Samuel to Mariella, and even then it had been hard to explain. She had never felt love like this, not even when she was with Lion, because deep down he had feelings for another. But Samuel she knew she had to herself, they belonged to each other, wether they liked to admit it or not, however she couldn’t shake the feeling of what he did to her body even just thinking of him. She looked to Cetas, letting out a small sigh as she looked at the human. It wasn’t her place to comment on these matters, but Cetas should’ve known. Eilish had only found humans to be hurtful or damaging to her, so she had a hidden hatred for that race. ”Is he a dumbass because he took the whole packet, or are you the dumbass because you gave him the packet?” she asked in a rather toneless voice, looking shortly to Samuel as he started placing equipment on the stranger’s body. Eilish and Vanessa might not always see eye to eye, but they had gotten along pretty decently, mostly because Vanessa rarely stayed for too long. The way Cetas spoke about the human guy was like he cared for him, yet didn’t at the same time. She found it rather hard to understand, yet her face remained stoic.

Ethan grunted, snorting and sniffling to keep his bodily liquids at bay, but he kept swaying slightly. If Cetas hadn’t been holding on to him, he would have planted his face first into the marble flooring. The needle made him grunt, swinging his free arm lazily, but he couldn’t really control where he wanted to go with that swing. His eyes fluttered, still not fully able to hear the conversation around him. The yellow liquid felt like fire under his skin and he started scratching his cheek, ripping off small thin layers of skin that now sat under his fingernails. He leaned forward, placing his forehead against the cold table and closed his eyes as his body reacted to whatever was being fed to his system. All he could think off was Vanessa and acting stupid. Cetas tried to look at Eilish apologetically, but the truth was she didn’t care much for an apology. If any it was Samuel he should apologize to, interrupting his time, but she couldn’t really be mad at Cetas for too long. He was a goofy kind of guy, way different than his brother, yet oddly alike. ”Lucky for you he might use that anger on me,” she said calmly, walking to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, placing it on the table in front of Ethan’s dark hair. If Samuel was frustrated, she could feel that when he made love to her. It wasn’t off putting or cruel, but it was just something she had noticed. His compliment made her raise an eyebrow, looking down herself, before looking back to Cetas once more. He was rather brave today of all days.

”Secreeets~,” Ethan mumbled against the table. He might be high as a kite, but he knew if any what Cetas was trying to do. He always acted like this around females that he fancied. He had a small hiccup, turning into a sound like he was about to throw up. ”Chattin’ ’er up, ain’t ya,” he mumbled, slurred in his speech and he didn’t even know if they could understand his words.

Eilish scoffed at his words shaking her head. Cetas speaking about Samuel giving her a pounding made her roll her eyes. The way he spoke of it made it sound disgusting. ”Could you not just mind your own business for a second?” she sighed, running a hand through her hair to regain control of her face. Cetas either made her scoff, smile faintly or annoyed. There wasn’t really a middleground, and she couldn’t understand why he was acting like such a brat. Ethan turned his head, his cheek laying flat on the table, looking at Cetas with rather hurt eyes, not that he had any control over what emotion he showed so clearly. ”I ’aven’t chatted ’er up, bruv – I ’aven’t ’cause I know ya would beat ma sorry arse into next year, or maybe letting me live would be too ezz for ya,” Ethan grunted. It was true however. He had never tried anything with Vanessa, even though he wanted to. He had wanted to give her compliments when she dressed out of the ordinary, or tell her at least just how he fucking felt. He sighed and closed his eyes. Cetas asked for water, and he frowned, still eyes closed. Eilish was way ahead of him, having already placed a bottle of fresh water infront of Ethan. She didn’t like it when he called her names like that, sweetheart or love. Like hell she was that to him. Ethan pushed himself up, grabbing the bottle and bit at the lid to screw it off. He had no real function in his arms, so his teeth would be what he could use. Getting the cap off he downed a lot of the water, feeling parched. Cetas mumbled something, and Ethan had to focus hard to understand what he was saying. ”Happy places,” he replied, knowing it sounded vague, but he knew her in a way few people did. Fuck, why did he have to notice everything she did. Could Cetas not just get over with the beating of him already, beat some sense into his thick skull.

”Happy places?” Eilish asked, frowning slightly as she looked at Cetas and then at Ethan. She sighed, shaking her head at the thought that popped into her mind. No, she wasn’t going out to find that girl. It wasn’t her place. ”Vane likes happy memories,” Ethan said, knowing it was very vague. He lost his balance and smacked his face into the table, mumbling a few swearwords as it was hurting. ”Where’s ma phone?” he mumbled, sitting up, revealing a blood nose, he tugged a bit at the needle in his arm, grunting as he felt over his pockets for the phone. He found it, ringing up Vanessa’s number. Pick up, please pick up. Ethan wasn’t the brightest, but he knew that she could be hard to reach. Just hearing her voice would let him know how she was. It went to voicemail, listening to the small voice that came from her message before the beep didn’t help. ”Ey, it’s ya boy Ethan – I’m alive, I think, fuck – I dunno,” he said into the voicemail, looking down as he whiped away some of his blood with the back of his hand before he looked to the machine that was running. ”Cetas is about to kill me tho, so I thought ya might wanted to get a good laugh off of that fact,” he said frowning. Fuck, he was saying this, knowing that Vanessa might not hear it, but Cetas was right next to him. ”I fancy ya Vane; I don’t give a shite who hears or knows at this point – I gotta go, I don’t want ya to hear me whimper like a pussy,” he mumbled, hanging up the call and ending the voicemail. He placed the phone on the table, sliding it over to Eilish as if to signal her to please pick up if Vanessa called back.

Ethan pulled out the needle, biting his lower lip as he felt better, but still wasted. He got to his feet, his balance shaky, but he wasn’t going to sit by and just let Cetas beat the fuck out of him. ”Come on, do your worst mate,” he said, his body swaying a bit from side to side as he tried clutching his hands into fists.

Cetas groaned and threw his arms out to the sides as the vague reply could mean anyhwere, “We’re talking about the girl that thinks her whole childhood was like the red riding hood, for christ’s sake. Anything can make her smile,” he said in an annoyed tone as he rubbed his temples, already annoyed with Ethan about his cryptic words from before. He looked at Eilish and noticed her shaking her head, “Where do you think she’s at? That demon guy or what?” He asked, running his hand through his hair. Not knowing where that damned girl was, made him just as irritable as Samuel was about Eveline. He looked at Ethan as he looked for his phone, crossing his arms as he waited. He knew Vanessa typically only would answer Ethan, but he could see in the human’s face that she didnt pick up this time. His frustration rose as he felt that it was his fault that she was at whatever happy place she remembered. He should have just brought her along. He went to the fridge, pulling out a flask of liquified soul that he ingested in one go, exhaling shortly. He listened to Ethan speak to the voicemail, not moving as his eyes got sceptic, though he was standing with his back to them. He frowned as he was mentioned and turned his head to the human, where the fuck was he going at? He felt his blood starting to boil as the pieces slowly fell into place and as he realized, Ethan said it himself. Cetas took a short inhale, his face completely numb as he just stared the at his friend from a distance. That fucker. He clenched his fists and watched him stand as he told him to do his worst. He walked up to him pretty close, almost pressing his forehead to his like they were two animals about to fight. “So one of my closest mates fancy my blood hm?” He muttered in a cold tone as he shifted between his eyes. He made a cold smile and shook his head, “If I didnt fucking love you to bits, you’d be painting these floors with guts and blood, man,” he said angrily, but not furious, which meant that it was something that had really ticked him off. He could go blind in anger, but that would be shortwhiled, no this was personal and something he wanted to remember. “You can barely stand straight,” he mocked him, stepping back as he clicked his teeth. “You wouldnt even feel it that well if I did beat your ass,” he continued as he shook his head, “No, this is a betrayal on another level,” he said as he moved away, feeling a need to grit his teeth, but he wouldnt give in to his fury. “Get the fuck out of this house,” he said in a calm tone, shifting between Ethan’s eyes like he was testing him or something.

Vanessa looked at the phone as it lit up, shaking her head as she sobbed. “Dont call me, idiot.. come see me, you know where I am” she begged the screen in a faint whisper that barely made it through her pained broken tones. She shook her head again, tossing the phone onto the gravel in front of her to watch it hang up and go dark. She whimpered and placed a hand over her mouth to muffle herself. She froze as the screen lit up and a message showed, almost throwing herself down onto the gravel as she snatched the phone and stared at it. She rolled onto her back, holding the phone in her hands as she considered hearing it. With shaky fingers, she called her voicemail and stared at the sky as the message played out. Her eyes widened a bit as she listened on in silence, staring up at the sky with her misty eyes. She wanted to move but she was speechless, just frozen in the gravel as the automated voicemail hung up after her idling. She held the phone to her ear as she blinked at the sky with surprise.

Was that why Cetas was always so protective? Thinking that Vanessa couldn’t understand happiness? Ethan gritted his teeth at the thought. He had finally said it out loud, and he stood for a while until Cetas came so close that he could feel his breath on his skin. ”I don’t give a flying shite about that,” he said sniffling in the blood that was still running in small droplets out his nose. ”Ya fucker think I ain’t tried kicking those thoughts ’bout ’er out?” he said in an angry tone. He had tried, tried forgetting and getting over his shitty feelings, but he was a weak ass bitch when it came to that. He breathed out as Cetas stepped away, but it didn’t feel right. ”Betrayal? Fucking hell, yeah mate, you one to speak about betrayal,” he said gesturing with his eyes to Eilish. He coughed slightly, placing a hand over his chest. He was feeling the aftermath of the high strongly, mixed with whatever that piss colored liquid was. ”If this is betrayal, then fucking end me mate – ’cause I can’t deal with ma heart beating like a fucking racehorse whenever I look at ’er,” he exclaimed, louder than he meant to but it was how he was feeling. Even if she didn’t return the feelings that would be fine, he just didn’t want to hide that he felt like this. Ethan felt betrayed as well, but it was mostly by himself. It was like every time he tried to get rid of the things he felt for Vanessa, they just got stronger. Cetas asked him to leave, but he shook his head. ”Fuck, you regretting saving me now, I see that,” he said, spitting a bit of blood on the floor, not giving a shit at this point.

Eilish looked at their exchange, not seeing the gesture that Ethan made towards her. ”If you are going to fight, take it outside,” she said in a cold tone looking with a raised eyebrow as Ethan spat on the floor. Good thing she wasn’t going to clean that up. Her sirenside was already acting up a bit, the human blood luring her.

”How about it, bruv? You feeling like ending me now or later?” he asked and shook his head at his own words. He needed to go see Vanessa, see if she was alright. He grabbed the bottle of water, taking another swig of it, cleaning out his mouth before he moved to the door. ”Thank the man of the house for his hospitalities, or wha’ever,” Ethan said, looking shortly to Eilish before he gave Cetas one last stare. He knew that he was in the wrong here, but of all people he thought Cetas would understand what it was like going around with bottled up feelings. The guy was like a brother to him, but he could see that both of them had different interpretations of what brotherhood meant. The cold air hit him like a brick, having grabbed his phone and looked at his bank account before he called a cab. He walked out to the street, getting picked up and paying the last of his money to go to that stupid playground. It didn’t take long in the car, and on the way he tried removing as much blood from his nose. Fuck this, he thought to himself, as he started kicking the seat in front of him. The cab driver gave him a warning look and he stopped looking at his cracked screen, frowning. He had nothing to offer Vanessa, nothing at all, but fuck he just wanted to be there for her. His money only lasted him to a block away from the playground, making him run the rest of the way. He could feel his body was close to passing out, but he would be damned if he didn’t get to see her before he passed out. He saw her, laying on the gravel, looking up at the sky. He stopped, leaning forward to catch his breath.

As he had caught his breath he walked over, laying down in the gravel next to her, looking up at the same stars as she was. He couldn’t find his words all of a sudden, like he was regressing and not able to speak so openly like he had when she wasn’t there. He coughed, wheezing a bit from running. Then he opened his mouth, wanting to say something that didn’t sound as much of a dickhead as he was. ”You … Erhm, got ma messages?” he asked in a rather broken voice. He was still surprised he had survived saying all of this, but he feared that the worst was yet to come.

He frowned deeply at the visual gesture that Ethan made, "This is not the same, dont act like we're experiencing the same thing," he said in a calm tone with the underlying anger shining through his expression. He shook his head and looked at Ethan in disbelief, "You're completely insane if you'd think I'd let you break her heart," he said with a stern tone. "Like hell Samuel would grant you permission to be with her, you're broke and broken," he said, shifting between Ethan's eyes. He narrowed his eyes a bit at him, unable to see eye to eye on this. It just wasnt going to happen, had it been any other girl, Cetas couldnt care less, Ethan could do what he wanted. But he wasnt going to budge, not on this. Ethan's words of regret made Cetas grit his teeth, "I wouldnt let you die. But I will kill you if I ever fucking catch you looking at her you hear me? I will fucking gut you and leave you to die like you were a stranger. Frankly, I dont see my friend here with me anymore," he remarked in frustration as he shook his head, his expression fading into something numbed anger once again. He glanced at Eilish, warning her to not intervene with his eyes. He wasnt usually this cold, but he did feel betrayed in a way he couldnt explain. Too focused on Vanessa to see that they were much alike, too blinded by his need to protect to see that his friend was reaching out for a hand and not a fist.
Cetas was just staring him down at his question. A typical thing for him and his brother were that they never really revealed their plans, especially those of vile intent. He felt conflicted in a way, as he didnt lie when he said he loved Ethan with all his heart, but Vanessa was just something that was off limits for everyone. He felt the strong need to make up for the horrors his brother had put her through and no potential heartbreak was ever going to ruin it. He shifted between his eyes, gritting his teeth as he watched Ethan grab for the water bottle, in an instant his hand shot up, gripping tight around his lower arm as he didnt break eyecontact, "Think twice, brother. Think twice," he said in a daring tone as he felt the need to repeat it, like he was throwing him a lifeline here. He quickly let go and watched Ethan move away, making deep inhales as he watched him leave. After that, he shortly glanced at Eilish, normally he would have softened up and gotten witty, but this was affecting him heavily. He just left without saying a word.

Vanessa was just staring at the nightsky, calling the voicemail once again, just to hear it all over. A part of her wanted to believe it to be true, but the other part was saying it was all lies. She had seen him chase after other girls, his words couldnt possibly be true in that sense. But she also knew that he wasnt a liar, he had always been honest at the things they had exchanged. She exhaled deeply and slipped the phone back into her pocket, covering her face as her feeling were darting to all sides at the same time, stretching out to a point were she mostly just felt scared that she would be overwhelmed. She felt her shoulders twitch, knowing the wall was slowly crumbling. She heard him lay down next to her, still covering her face, but peeking at the stars through her fingers. She removed her hands and let them fall down onto the gravel, grabbing a bit of it to hold in the palm of her hand as she tapped the surface of the gravel with her fingertips on her other hand. It stopped when he asked if she had heard the messages, turning her head to him, opening her mouth as she was about to reply, when it was like the flick of a switch had happened in her, her eyes filled with horror and she turned her face away, feeling her body tremble as she curled up into a ball - Leaving his question unanswered. The wall had fallen and she felt her true self take over, leaving her feeling confused as to why she was here and how she had ended up here. "Why am I not home..." she mumbled as she felt the trembles worsen with the frightening confusion that bubbled up in her.

”And you’re completely insane to think you’re protecting her!” Ethan clapped back shaking his head as Cetas spoke about permission, pointing at the anarchist sign that Cetas had on his cheek. ”Oh, so now we should listen to authority?” he mocked, ripping his arm away and stumbling a bit back. Ethan had made a shitty anarchy sign on his ankle as well, but it was hidden beneath his pink socks. ”I’ll look forward to be turned into a mush then,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his temperament down, but he was failing miserably. He was hotheaded, and Cetas knew that, but could that damned demon see that all he wanted was to protect her too? Like hell he wanted to break her heart or anything else for that matter, he just wanted to see her happy. As Cetas grabbed his wrist, he knew that he wasn’t going to listen to anything that man said, moving away and out into the night without any further words. Fuck he hated betraying someone like this, but he was worried. Cetas thought he knew Vanessa, but he had only seen a small part of her. Ethan had seen how strong she was. Eilish kept out of the situation, opting to move to her and Samuel’s bedroom as Cetas left as well.

Ethan felt like a dumbass, laying here not even being able to express himself. He listened to her tap on the rocks, somehow it calmed him a bit, but he felt the change. How quiet she got all of a sudden and he sat up on his knees, looking at her as she trembled. He furrowed his brows, reaching out to take her hand. ”It’s aight – I’m here to take ya home,” he said, suddenly finding the words when he needed them. He helped her to her feet, looking her in the eyes with a careful glance. He knew that if Cetas saw him, he was a dead man, but right now all that mattered was getting Vanessa back to her apartment and making her feel safe. Even though his body was weak it was like it found it’s last spark of energy as he helped the girl move down the streets. It wasn’t a far walk, rather quick, but things had to move at a slower pace with this side of her. Ethan knew that, even if he was thickheaded and dumb. ”Once you’re home, I’ll make that fort like last, yeah?” he said, not really knowing if she could remember it in her almost frozen state. It was a stupid kid thing to do, but it had made Vanessa feel so calm that she eventually fell asleep in his lap. ”Not far now,” he promised with a shy smile, Cetas’ words rummaging his skull. He felt like he had lost his brother, because this was as taboo as it got for Cetas. The guy was a hypocrite, and worse, a hypocrite that couldn’t see himself as hypocritial. He got to the apartment complex, pushing the door open and guiding her inside. ”It’s aight, just a few steps and you’re home,” he promised. This was not a side many people saw, the careful and caring side that seemed to want to help. Normally he saw himself as selfish, but when it came to Vanessa it was like everything was turned upside down.

He helped her up the stairs, even carrying her if nescessary. ”Keys, yeah? Imma grab ya keys,” he said holding his hands up showing he wasn’t trying anything before reaching into her jacket. He was lucky she liked keeping her keys at certain spots, which made him lucky this time. He took out the keys looking at the keychain, dangling infront of Vanessa with a small grin on his face before he unlocked the door, opening it for her. He didn’t know if Darren was there, but he would know everything that had happened just by reading his scrambled mind. He let out a sigh, closing and locking the door behind them. ”’Kay, let’s get ya out that jacket and into some cozy shit,” he said with a smile, trying not to show how close he was to passing out. Fuck he needed to be strong for her, enjoy even this small moment with her, because he was afraid that Cetas would show up and gut him soon. As Vanessa went changing, Ethan took some time to gather himself, leaning against one of the apartment walls, breathing heavily. Not yet. He had made her a promise, and soon he started moving around the furniture, making a make shift fort that he stuffed with pillows and blankets. He sat down inside it, taking off his shoes and leaning his head back. He had gotten her home. Mission complete, yet he waited for her to come back into the livingroom before he could relax completely. When she did he gestured for her to come over, giving her space if she needed, but wrapping her in a blanket to make her body warm up.

Ethan raising his voice at him made him frown deeply as he looked at him with disbelief. What was he saying? That Cetas wasnt protecting her? Was this words coming from his friend, his closest friend that he saw like a brother? He shook his head, couldnt believe it. He gritted his teeth as Ethan pointed to his cheek, slapping his hand away as he gritted his teeth, finally feeling the anger boil, "Do you have a fucking deathwish you dumbfuck?" he asked rather seriously, knowing what Samuel would do if he even got a notion of this going on. He looked to Eilish, not really knowing whether she would tell Samuel or not. A part of him felt like she was loyal enough to keep information like this to herself, but at the same time she was quite unpredictable. Cetas would have a hard time killing his friend, but Samuel wouldnt give it a single thought. Ethan's last words was the nail on the coffin, and the warning was the only thing Cetas could muster to say without causing an angry outburst of his fury boiling in him. He wasnt the kind to get angry, but this was pressing all the right buttons.

She looked up from her ball as he took her hand, her legs shaking as he helped her to her feet, grasping at his shirt as she looked around in fear. She hated being outside when she was like this, but she was thankful that he had gotten here before she switched, because she wasnt sure what would have happened if he wasnt. She moved slow, her head moving around at a fast pace as she was startled at every movement, sound or sight. A passing car made her flinch as she closed her eyes hard together, to the point were her head started hurting. She heard him speak of the fort and pinched her eyes together harder, "Fort... home, fort with Ethan... home," she whispered to herself as she held on tight, trying to get her wobbly legs to move. It sucked being in this state, as she felt like she could barely function, she was so scared and sad at the same time and it wasnt what she wanted. She didnt want to be this broken girl that couldnt do anything, that had to lean on to someone just to get home. She wanted to feel happy that he was here with her and not beaten half to death by Cetas, but she couldnt think of that right now.
When she saw the stairs, she gulped and shook her head as she stepped back, she couldnt handle stairs right now. Having to move was a struggle, how would she make her body lift her feet high enough to climb the steps? He was ahead of her and soon she was being carried up there, burying her face into his shoulder as her body shook with fear. She was placed down and he spoke of keys, but she couldnt remember where she had put them, staring at him with alerted eyes even as he motioned that he wasnt going to do anything. She let him reach in the pocket of her jacket, but only because she trusted him, flinching slightly at the sort of the keys jangling. She stepped into the apartment and stayed near the walls as she looked around. This was familiar, but it was still too much for her to move around in, making her stand still as she then looked at him. She took off her jacket, or more like just let it slide off her before she carefully moved towards the bedroom, looking around like she feared something would jump at her out of nowhere. But she knew it was safe here, why was she acting so irrationally? She couldnt understand, the confusion which only made her fears seem more likely to happen to her.
She stepped out of the bedroom in her favorite pajamas with dancing monkeys all around it. It wasnt something she would wear in her confident state, but in the state she was in now, this was her best comfort outfit of choice. She scraped the side of her finger, looking around with big scared eyes before her eyes fell on the fort she recognized so well. She almost ran to it, barely managing as she was stumbling over her own feet, falling into the fort with a thump. She dug her head into a pillow on the floor, inhaling sharply as her breathing was irregularly fast. It took a while before she calmed down, but it was faster as he wrapped her in a blanket. She closed her eyes and made a deep inhale, "I cant get it out of my mind," she mumbled in a faint tone as she felt her lower lip tremble. She shook her head and buried it back into the pillow, feeling her shoulders tremble at the memory, "Seeing you like that, I cant handle it right now," she said into the pillow, her words muffling in the soft fabric.
She moved her hands up to her chest as she started scraping the side of her finger, as calming as it made her, it was hurting. She felt the skin give in, the blood crawling under her nail but she didnt stop. It was like the hurting was also soothing in it's own way. She moved around after a bit, cuddling up to him as she was trying to curl herself back into her ball again. She just felt safer when she felt smaller in this overwhelming world that seemed to big, even when they were in this little fort of protection.
The door unlocked and opened as Darren stepped in, making Vanessa go back into her trembles as she listened to the footsteps approaching. Darren just looked at the fort and then he knew what was going on. He sighed deeply and walked to his room without saying a word, closing the door to let them have their peace. He even pulled out a couple of pills that he swallowed, just something extra to dull his telepathy. It was going to be hell tomorrow, but he had good intentions.
When she had adjusted to knowing Darren was here as well, her trembles subsided, making her stare into the fabric of his shirt as she had her face rather close to his chest. Without moving her body, she lifted her hand with the fresh sore on the side of her finger and formed it to a fist before she slung it at his shoulder, gritting her teeth as the tears formed in her eyes, another recent memory bouncing around in her mind, "You told him, I dont understand," she whispered in a sad tone, not looking up or moving, her fist staying right at the spot where she had hit him. She wasnt a hard hitter in this state of mind.

Ethan helped her to the best of his ability. He was far from good with this mentality thing, but he knew what helped her. He did his best, being there to act protective when she flinched at the cars and other strange noises. It wasn’t that he hated seeing her in this state, because it was just part of her, but he didn’t like the fact that she was hurting. As he had managed to gather the fort and sitting down inside he felt his heart sink. He knew what he had done might’ve gotten him marked as dead within the week, but maybe that was just how he was going to end. Ethan didn’t really have a family, not anyone worth mentioning at least, most of them still in Doncaster. As she came into the living room he couldn’t hide a small smile on his lips, wanting her to just come over to him and feel safe, just for a while. He wrapped her in the blanket, adjusting her hair so it wasn’t all in her face. He was silent for a bit, wanting her to be the first to break the silence. He closed his eyes, leaning back and just running his fingers through her hair to calm her down. Her mumble made him open one eye, looking down at her with a sigh. He hadn’t meant to do it, but he just hadn’t felt it working.

”I’m sorry,” he muttered, running her hand down to her shoulder. He caresssed her gently, long strokes to calm her body that he knew to be a mess at this point. He could feel her move, looking down as she started scratching her finger, letting out a tired sigh, taking her hand and holding it firmly. There was no need for her to hurt herself like this, not if he could do anything about it. ”I didn’t mean to, y’know,” he said, it wasn’t really an excuse. He was just not good at planning things out, and that she should’ve known by now. She moved again, cuddling closer and he placed an arm around her. Every thing she did, he found a way to move with her on, even if he had to try his way to the solution. He pulled the blanked up closer to her cheeks, knowing that it helped her feel smaller. ”I’m here, aight – ain’t leaving ya now,” he said in a silent voice. He was exhausted, but refused to rest for now. When she slept well then he could too. He fought to keep his eyes open, but got woken up slightly as she started trembling. He knew it was just Darren, but Vanessa couldn’t put those two cents together right now. He heard the door close, feeling a bit grateful for Darren’s choice. He knew he fancied her as well, but in the end it was up to Vanessa what she wanted from her life. Silence befell them again, making him fight the urge to sleep as he listened to her breathing. For a short while he thought himself to be dreaming, nothing major, maybe just what it would feel like waking up to Vanessa. It was a comforting thought that got ripped out, making him open his eyes and look down to her as she hit him. Her words made him frown, placing a hand over her fist, touching the back of her hand as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

”I did, and I don’t understand either,” he mumbled, however he wouldn’t nor couldn’t change that fact. A weak grin grew on his lips, knowing that what he had felt for so long wasn’t something he could hide any longer. He couldn’t recall the last time he had felt this liberated. ”Maybe ’cause I saw that bloke,” Ethan said, frowning as he recalled in his mind what Cetas had done and said to that poor guy. That was going to be him soon, he just knew it, but to hell with that. Ethan had never been known as the smartest, and starting to be smart now sounded stupid in it of itself. ”Vane, I don’t regret saying it, ’cause I bloody mean it,” he said in a rather sad voice, scratching his scalp through his messy and rather dirty hair. He knew he couldn’t crash here, maybe it was a good thing he was being thrown out of his apartment. Then they couldn’t seek him out. ”I just don’t think it’s fair, right? Like I can’t keep ma brain on focus when ya running ’round snogging other blokes,” he said, looking down at the fist he was holding on to, his other hand moved down, rubbing her upperback a bit. Ethan was a simple guy, but Vanessa had made his life rather complicated. Maybe it was for the better that things were out in the open. Hell, if Cetas came for him, he would put up a fight, even if he knew he would ultimately lose. It wasn’t a sad thought, dying, but knowing that it would leave Vanessa behind made him sad.

”I just don’t agree with Cetz – he got a twisted view and I just know that ya could be happier than ya are,” he said looking down at her, hoping to catch her eyes. He let out a sigh. ”Listen, I ain’t saying ya gotta be wiv me, I just wanna be there … Wiv ya,” he said not knowing if what he said made any sense at all. He felt a bit lost for words, not knowing whom he could trust anymore. Was Darren going to rat him out, telling Cetas where he was? Was that Eilish chick going to run her mouth to Samuel? He would gladly catch everything for Vanessa, but he didn’t want it to hurt her. He sighed, rubbing her back in circular motions, making her muscles calm down and warm up. Ethan more than fancied Vanessa, but he couldn’t understand that himself yet. Cetas and Ethan could agree on a few things, however; one of them being that she didn’t deserve heartbreak. Would it break her heart if he died? He wondered, frowning as he felt himself a bit drowsy. He shook his head, laying down with her, placing himself in front of her, so that he was shielding the entrance to the fort. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as he felt a few tears starting to fall from his eyes. He was going to fight, but the fact that death was inescapable scared him a bit. ”I just wanna be there for ya, yeah?” he said in a weak voice, hiding the fact he was actually crying silently.

All the trinkets and random items made him just feel at home, in some weird way. He liked looking at all the strange things she had gathered, knowing that each of the items had it’s own story to go with it. Believe it or not, Ethan was rather used to females hitting him, mostly because he had said or done something wrong. He knew he wasn’t fair in his explanation, but he wasn’t taking girls out to dinner or nothing. He was simply engaging in some corporal business, not seeking to replace Vanessa, but just forget for a while. Maybe that was why he had started his addiction back then, because he thought it could help him remove those feelings he had started feeling for her. But now it was clear he couldn’t just get rid of them. Hearing Vanessa say that she believed Cetas didn’t care for her he frowned. Ethan, for one, believed that the guy actually cared somewhat. He sighed, unable to answer her. Don’t die, she said. ”Great advice,” he mumbled, but his sarcasm wasn’t really coming out clearly. He pulled her closer, running his hand up and down her back, hoping she would soon drift off to sleep so that he could get some rest as well. He closed his eyes at her words, a faint smile appearing on his lips. Partly he knew, but on the other hand he was actually surprised. ”Sleep,” he whispered in a gentle tone, before falling asleep with her in his arms. He gave her a squeeze, letting her know she wouldn’t be alone in the night.

Ethan was still fast asleep as he felt Vanessa move out of his arms, making him frown as he instead grabbed a pillow to pull close to him. His eyes opened slightly, looking at Vanessa, seeing clearly her demeanor had changed, chuckling a bit in surprise as she kissed his temple. He ran his hand up to his dirty hair, trying to run his fingers through it, but they ultimately got stuck in his tangles. He shook his head, swallowing as he kept laying. ”Don’t apologize, aight – Is good,” he said with a hoarse voice, maybe sounding a bit groggy, but he was slowly waking up. The reality of yesterday hit him like a tonne of bricks, making him squeeze his eyelids closed, turning around on his back as he covered his eyes with his arm. ”I fucked up, huh?” he mumbled, chuckling in a sad tone. He felt happy though, because he had gotten to Vanessa in time, even if Cetas had forbidden him. He took a deep breath before he sat up, pulling off his blanket and started fiddling with the pink bandana he usually always wore around his black trousers. He took it off, handing it to Vanessa without a word before he got to his feet. His body was wasted, but he managed not to fall on his face. ”For, uhm, your trinkets and stuff,” he said. Things like this confused him. He never knew how much each Vanessa remembered of their time together. ”I’ll knick a shower, aight? I spent ma last quids last night getting to ya, so I don’t think I’ve an apartment to go home to,” he said with a chuckle, shaking his head. His legs were still a bit shaky, but he managed to get to the bathroom, looking himself in the mirror. He moved his dirty hair out of his face, noticing how greasy hsi skin had gotten from the mixture of drugs, sweat and tears yesterday. He didn’t know if he had time for a shower. Had he been smart he would have disappeared from Gaia last night, but he just couldn’t leave Vanessa. Not knowing if she had made it back home safely. He pulled his shirt over his head, noticing the bruises from where Cetas had been holding on to him.

Turning on the water, he waited for the heat to kick in before he stepped out of his pants. He looked at the products, a bit thankful that Darren had some of his shampoo out here as well. ”Fuck,” he mumbled to himself, inspecting his nose with nostrils filled with dried up blood. He cracked his knuckles before he stepped under the water, squirming a bit as it was too hot for him, turning down the heat. He just let the water hit him for a while, feeling a bit lost in the moment. As he saw it he had two options left; one where he ran off, hoping that Vanessa could handle that or one where he would face Cetas and die with his chin held high. He didn’t want to die. He was going to be twenty-two soon, like hell he was going to let his life end already. But was it really living if he was living on the run, he thought, cluching his hand into a fist, whimpering silently as he thought about it. No he needed to find his fucking balls and get his shit together.

"Not an advice. A demand," she corrected him in a muffle. It was just about the determination she could muster, and it was quite a big thing for her that she could bring herself to correct him in this state of mind. A small happy feeling spread at the achievement but she was soon drifting off to sleep. She rubbed her face in his chest as he whispered at her, already fallen into a deep sleep.

His chuckle made her smile, but it was more a sad smile than a happy one. She scoffed lightly as he told her not to apologize. How couldnt she apologize? This had turned into a mess, a confusing one with unpredictable outcomes. It wasnt even that they had done anything in particular, but this would probably just have been enough for Cetas to go crazy. She rubbed her cheek as she then bit at the skin between her thumb and indexfinger as she realized herself that this was already out of their hands. She wished that it didnt have to be like this, but she would be damned to let Cetas do anything about it. He could be angry, not approve or even lose his mind, but she knew he wasnt thinking this through. The idiot wasnt thinking of how it would affect her and it annoyed her more than she wanted it to. She turned to him as he rolled onto his back and covered his face with his arm. She reached out and placed her hand on his knee as she sighed deeply, "I wish I could say you were wrong," she said in a low tone as she looked at him. Even when he looked like a mess, she still felt butterflies in her stomach from looking at him. She moved her hand away as he sat up, looking at him with confusion as he started pulling off his bandanna, even giving it to her. Was this a way of saying goodbye? She didnt want goodbyes, she wanted hellos and the warm fuzzy feeling that she had gotten from looking at him as he laid with his arm over his eyes.
She remembered it all very clearly, but most times she chose not to remember, as it usually brought some sad feeling with it. She wanted to remember last night, all of it. She wasnt sure what would happen, but as he had given her his bandanna, she looked at it for a while, clutching it tight in her hand. This was bullshit, fuck Cetas and whatever he thought. She was tired of this, tired of people feeling like she needed to be protected at all times. Sure she had her true self hiding beneath, the one that really needed protection. But she didnt need it now, she was strong enough, she thought to herself as she nodded at his words, looking up at him with sad eyes. How could he chuckle and be happy now? She watched him go to the bathroom and sat for a while before she pushed herself to her feet. She went into her bedroom and changed into a new outfit that she liked better than staying in the pajamas. She looked herself in the mirror and felt her sticky cheeks from the salty tears before she sighed and went to the kitchen. She pulled her hair into a messy bun before she splashed some water in her face. She moved some of her trinkets out of the window frame before she sat down on it, opening the window before she reached up behind the curtains, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. She wasnt really quite the smoker, it was mostly something she did when she had experienced what she did last night or gotten really hungover from a night out clubbing.
She lit the cigarette, watching the fog dance slowly in the air before she took a deep inhale and leaned sideways towards the frame. Darren stepped out into the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a milk that he drank straight from. "Comeon, use a glass, you animal" Vanessa groaned as she exhaled the smoke out the window, looking back at Darren that had finished his sip, drying his mouth with the back of his hand, "Aight, aint like I got anyone to share with innit?" he said as he placed the milk back in the fridge, pushing himself up on the kitchen counter as he looked at her. "You alright?" he asked even though he already knew she wasnt. She just gave him a short stare before she moved her eyes out the window, watching people go about their day as she placed the cig in the corner of her mouth. Darren got up, poking his head out into the livingroom, "Ay, E? Want sum scrambled eggs, yeah?" he asked loudly before he awaited an answer. No matter what it was, he was still going to make them, if not for the both of them, then just himself. Vanessa just sat quietly, watching Darren fetch the items he needed as he heated up the pan. Scrambled eggs was the only thing he really knew how to make, but he did make them damn good.

He knew what she meant, but he really didn’t wish for things to be the way they had been. He was actually mere relieved that the truth was out there, as it had been weighing on him for quite some time now. The water helped getting the dirty feeling off of his body, touching the temple that Vanessa had kissed, smiling a bit stupidly at the thought. He was hopeless, anyone could see him. Looking at his middlefinger on his right hand, looking at the wonky black heart he had spent days making himself with a simple needle and some ink. Finishing off his shower he grabbed a towel, drying himself off as he heard Darren call for him. ”Yeah yeah mate – lot’s off egg!” he yelled back, feeling his stomach rumble. Ethan was bad at being a human, often forgetting to eat. It was a wonder he was still alive, but he looked at the gathering of belly fat and knew why. Living healthy wasn’t really an option when all you could afford was white bread and maybe some baked beans. He wrapped the towel around his waist, picking up his clothes and moving into her bedroom to change. He got into his clothes rather quickly, running the towel through his hair one more time to get control over the mess of a nest it was becoming. He grabbed one of Vanessa’s hairbrushes, combing it backwards to keep it out of his face, atleast until it started drying. Moving out into the kitchen he rubbed his face, blinking a few times as he grabbed the milk that Darren had left out, taking a big swig of it, placing it back before walking over to Vanessa. ”I thought ya’d quit by now,” he said with a faint grin on his face, reaching out and moving some of the hair that fell along her cheek, a bit wet from when she had washed her face. He took the cigaret she held between her lips, inhaling a big puff before handing it back to her, holding his breath for a bit to get as much nicotine out of it as possible.

The smell of eggs started spreading in the kitchen and Ethan jumped up on the counter next to where Darren was working. ”Ya got wiv one of ya links last night mate? Ya were home late,” he said with a teasing grin. He just wanted to not think about Cetas and his stupid words from yesterday. Just pretend like things were normal before he had to greet his death. Ethan leaned back, grabbing a banana that was full of dark spots, but he really didn’t care. He peeled it, taking a large chunk and started chewing. He took out his phone. ”Oi, Siri – look up last meals on death row,” he said, his mouth still full of banana but Siri seemed to understand him weirdly enough. Siri popped up with the usual BuzzFeed articles that he passed with his fingers before he found another website listing some fucked up last meals. He took another bite of the banana sighing as he found some meals. ”This mad lad straight up just wanted two pints of fecking mint chocolate chip ice cream – I would get a brain freeze,” he chuckled, shaking his head before he turned off the screen, not bothering with the unanswered messages on the screen. ”I ain’t movin’, ya know right?” he said looking to Darren and then to Vanessa. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he looked at the silverhaired demon, feeling his stomach full of emotions and his heart beating faster. ”I’ll stand by ya, aight? I ain’t lettin’ him pull me from from what I luv,” he said nodding as he had made up his mind. The only problem was that he couldn’t really do much. Sure, he could control shadows, but that ability was far out of control for him at this point. He had used it sparingly, only a few select people knowing that he could do it.

”Ya sneaked on me last night, blud?” he asked rather bluntly. He wanted to know if Cetas was aware of his whereabouts. It was silly all of this, but it had to be done. Vanessa might not need protection, but he wanted to be there for her. What was wrong with that? He thought it was some burried jealousy from Cetas’ side. He jumped off the counter, walking over to Vanessa again, knowing she was close to finishing her cigaret. He took the last puff before he looked at her, flinging the bud out the window with little care. If Darren hadn’t been there, he might’ve tried kissing Vanessa, feeling those full lips that he had dreamt about for far too long at this point. He exhaled the smoke slowly, standing between her legs and looking her straight in the eyes. Calm before the storm, he thought. He touched her cheek gently, not wanting things to move fast, because he wasn’t in a hurry. He was afraid of opening up his heart to her and rejecting him, or scared that him moving fast all of a sudden could be interpreted as him just wanting to get in her bed. Besides that he felt it was rude, knowing how Darren had looked at Vanessa before, making him swallow and look down, playing with one of her pockets in her jean overalls. ”I know I ain’t got a penny to ma name, but Vane I fancy ya too hard to even care,” he said with a chuckle. He couldn’t just move in here, knowing that it would be too obvious, even if he wanted to start living here. He could sleep in the corner in a dog bed for all he cared. ”Romeo and Juliet but with Adidas sneakers and cigarettes,” he chuckled shaking his head as it was silly.

"Yah yah," he replied as he got back into the kitchen and picked out the bowl from the cupboard, cracking a few eggs into it before he scoffed and cracked a few more. He was going to make a big bunch for the both of them. Vanessa smiled a bit as Ethan walked in, tilting her head at his hair being combed back. She watched him drink the milk shaking her head, "You're both animals," she muttered as she took another drag from the cigarette, chuckling at Ethan's remark, "I did," she said as he took the cigarette. She reached out and ruffled his hair a bit, taking back the cigarette as he had inhaled the smoke.
He couldnt hold back a heartily laugh at Ethan's tease looking at him, "Did I disturb sum mashing or what?" he asked teasingly as he shook his head, preparing the eggs in a bowl. Vanessa sighed which made Darren chuckle as he had a goofy grin looking down into the bowl. He wasnt afraid to tease them, as any other person would find it weird that two adults slept in a fort of blankets and pillows. He knew that it was for Vanessa's sake, but that didnt stop him.
Darren shook his head at his words, looking at the pan, "Nah bruv," he said as he looked up at Ethan. Darren wasnt the type to do that kind of shit, it wasnt really his business, even though he was loyal to Cetas, this wasnt his problem. "You two solve your shit, I aint on that hype," he then said his eyes not moving from the pan. Vanessa liked the way Darren always stayed out of the problems that rose in the group, but it was probably because he was too bothered by his mind to want to partake.
When he talked to his phone, Vanessa raised her eyebrows as Darren just chuckled to himself, moving the eggs around on the pan like he was an artist with a palet. Vanessa had her phone in her pocket that she picked out as well to browse the new stuff that were on her feed. It wasnt anything interesting though. She looked up at Ethan's words and scrunched her face, "Disgusting," she said with a smile. If there was something she hated, then it was mint. It just tasted awful to her.
Darren glanced at Ethan at his words and nodded, "Good," he said as he looked back at the pan. Vanessa smiled and leaned her head against the frame. She nodded and closed her eyes for a bit as she exhaled. It was going to be difficult and the outcome wasnt certain, but she was just hoping Cetas wasnt out to make her choose, as her choice was quite clear.
She took another deep inhale, pinching the bud between her fingers as she blew the smoke out on the cigarette, "You're safe here, you know that right?" she said as she moved her eyes from the cigarette to Ethan.  He jumped down the counter and moved over to her, she let him take the cigarette as she watched him take a drag, "Cetas know he cant do shit in my house," she added as she smiled a bit.
She watched him as he stood so close to her exhaling the smoke slowly, her eyes moving from his beautiful lips and up to meet his eyes, liking the way he was looking at her. She felt small tingles move around her spine but she didnt react to them, she just enjoyed them instead. She exhaled deeply to not be too mesmerized, feeling his hand on her cheek as she smiled at him. Darren glanced at them, scoffing as he shook his head and mushed the eggs up neatly, making sure they were just perfect. He probably wouldnt be happy if they started kissing in front of him, but he also knew how Vanessa felt right in this moment. Vanessa chuckled at his words and grabbed around his hand that was fiddling with her pocket, moving her other hand to cup around his, caressing his skin with her thumbs as she looked at him. "You make it sound like a proposal," she teased as she looked down at their hands, enjoying this moment fully. She looked back up at him, her smile turning to a grin as she was about to answer, right when Darren had placed some eggs on his palet, flicking them right at them, "Aight aight, allow it, yeah, with the sappy shite. Man's gonna puke," he teased them as he picked out two plates and sorted the remaining eggs out on the plates. "Get on with the snogging, you bastards, I'm getting tired of hearing you both wan'it, yeah?" he said as he shook his head. He grabbed his plate and finished it rather quickly before he looked at them, "Man's gotta squaley," he said as he nodded at them and left.

Vanessa watched Darren leave before she looked at Ethan, exhaling deeply as the telepath hadnt been shy of telling what he had heard from them. She gulped and left go of his hand before she moved her hand up to his face, running her indexfinger along his lower lip in a slow motion, "It would set the nails in your coffin," she said in a low tone as she watched her finger move on his lip, not feeling all that courageous in the moment. She moved her finger off his lip and dragged it down to his chin before she let it slide off him, letting it fall to her side as she looked into his eyes.