It's pointless, without her I'm nothing

It had been a few hours since the confrontation. What he had been doing up till now was a foggy memory that he couldnt seem to recall. He had a couple of bad bruises, a few on his body that was concealed underneath his clothes, but he had a fine black eye that was slowly healing. He sat by the lake, with his phone in his hand, his whole body shaking with frustration as he just sat there. He looked at the few bloodstains on his shirt but knew that no one had gotten hurt, it was his own blood. He looked out on the lake again, glancing shortly at the cryptic message he had sent Calista with no explanation to why she had to come here. He couldnt really cry, it seemed that his broken heart had given him an inability to do so, like getting the sweet relief of crying out some of the frustration was something he wasnt allowed. He had these eyes, number than ever as he just existed in the silence of the surroundings.

That guy and his cryptic messages, however Calista knew she had to seek him out. She saw him sitting at the lake, gazing with such empty eyes and she felt her heart bleed a bit for him. Normally she was not the sentimental type, but Eaden was one of her dearest friends, a rare thing for her. As she walked closer she smelled his blood, recognizing it from the times they might have gone a bit more rough. She sat down beside him and placed an arm around him, pulling him close to her and letting him rest his head on her shoulder. Stroking her fingers up and down his arm, she just wanted to be there for him. She could smell the darkness still lingering on his skin and she let out a small sigh. Calista knew who he had been in contact with, but she couldn’t just make guesses like this, even if she were to be correct. ”Do you want to talk about it?” she asked after a good while of silence. She just wanted to give him room, but she also knew that he, like her, had very few true friends for a situation like this. Calista sighed, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his hear, quite out of character for her, but she knew he needed some sort of comfort. She would happily give that to him, but she could also just listen.

Everything just felt so dull, nothing really seemed to make sense anymore. The silence was the only thing that made him feel something, and that was weird because silence was empty. He heard her approach but didnt move a single muscle, just kept his eyes out on the lake as she wrapped her arm around him. He rested his head on her shoulder but felt no comfort in her closeness. He wondered if it would be like this forever from now on, just feeling nothing, being an empty shell that disassociated from the world. He closed his eyes and sighed in a dry raspy breath as he opened them again and looked at the lake. "I feel like I lost a part of my soul," he then said in a low emotionless tone. His voice so ridden of emotions, which was way out of character - Eaden had never been the type to be this defeated by anything. He felt her kiss and he couldnt even bring himself to tease her about it. He lifted a hand and felt the black eye that had darkened his skin, yet not broken his beauty. He had hoped that it would, that it would show how ugly he truly was on the inside.

Calista sighed at his words. She had never liked how him and his sister were this close, especially considering they often time excluded themselves from the world. Maybe this could turn into a good thing, or maybe not – it all depended on how both of them reacted. ”You might have lost part of it, but I can still sense it in you,” she said. Comforting others wasn’t really her strong suit, but she would do it for him. She would do it for him. As he turned his face towards her she clicked her tongue and shook her head at the look of the black eye. It was slowly fading, but he was always so reckless. She placed her free hand on his skin, carefully touching the darkened area. ”We both know that that type of violence doesn’t help anyone,” she said with a sigh. Calista was good with words, but not comforting words, however she was trying. ”You are feeling bad for yourself, and that is so unlike you,” she reminded him, giving his cheek a few gentle taps as she moved her gaze to the water. ”So, what do you want? Pity? No, you have pity enough for yourself and the rest of Gaia,” she said, her spanish roots showing when she was a bit upset. ”You want what you can’t have and what I can’t give you,” she stated, referring to her solving whatever problem he had with his sister right now. ”Maybe some time apart is what you both need – you were acting up like a pendejo (asshole),” she stated fairly blatantly.

Her words were meant as a comfort, but he couldnt really feel it. Did it matter about the rest of the soul if he had lost the most vital part of it? He knew she wouldnt be happy about the blackeye, but he couldnt have turned down a good beating. He hadnt even really done anything to the other person, he had just needed to feel something. And not feeling pain like any others meant that to feel something like that would mean he had to go to the extreme. He scoffed quietly at her statement about violence, but he wasnt going to deny or confirm it. His being was too distraught to even think of anything to say. Her reminder wasnt really fazing him either, the taps on his cheek felt so hollow to him. This really was something he had never felt before, so empty and ridden of even the smallest string of joy.
"If I wanted pity, I'd have gone to a whorehouse. They sure have a lot of it to give," he said in a monotone voice as he turned his gaze back to the lake. Her statement made him twitch a short frown, a blink of emotion before the numbness returned. He opened his mouth to say something but she was quick in continuing. He closed his eyes for a bit and let the silence fall over them before he broke it, "I dont want pity," he then finally said as he plucked out a strand of the withered grass below them. "I want the world to see me for who I really am. A deceiver, a hideous person hidden behind a perfected surface," his monotone voice broke and a deep sorrow laid underneath. He placed the strand in the water and watched it drift off. "I want her to be happy. And I dont think I could ever make her happy again," he admitted, watching the strand disappear into the dark lake. "She deserves someone that wouldnt lie to her, wouldnt hurt her over and over," he clenched his jaw and sighed deeply. "So that rules me out, permanently"

She knew he didn’t want pity, but he clearly did not want to be alone either. However she knew he could find plenty company if he used his charm, and that was why she found it a bit frustrating. To her, everything could be solved with either sex or a good talk, but when he wasn’t really doing anything but talk himself down, it made her angry. Angry at Eaden for acting this way, but also mad at his sister for even making him feel like this. ”You know what the worst part about this is?” Calista said, looking at the lake, brushing her fingers through his hair in a calming matter. ”I don’t think one of you can exist without the other,” she said in a rather calm fashion as she watched the dark waters further out. They said that seamonsters roamed the lake and would eat people getting too far out on the lake. She had never believed it, nor seen it, but she found the stories amusing either way. ”But one thing is sure; you fucked up big time,” she said, shrugging. Calista fucked up all the time, but she had never let it stop her pursuing what she wanted in life.

”Listen, I’m not great at advice; I’m great at fucking and looking sexy – but I know that people need to breathe, and maybe that is what you both need right now,” she said taking a deep breath, shaking her head at herself. She was not really a family person, but maybe that was why she had found a friendship in Eaden. Knowing what he had gone through, or at least parts of it, made her know that her fucked up family wasn’t the only one. ”Love can be a blessing, but if you hold on to your loved one for too long, they can feel suffocated,” she explained her meaning. ”I don’t think you need to rule yourself out of her life, because I have seen what she does to you, I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, and nothing could change that,” she said. It was weird that they were brother and sister, but on the other hand you didn’t really choose who you loved. ”You are two pieces of the same puzzle, but give her some space and take some time to do what you want to do – not everything in your life has to be about her, right?” she said pressing her lips together as she turned her gaze back to Eaden.

Her question made him swallow as he felt her fingers run through his hair. He felt some comfort from her gentle caresses, but the other emotions, the negative ones that had infested deeply in him were far stronger. Her words made him close his eyes for a bit as he shook his head. He didnt say any words, because he couldnt really bother arguing about it. She may have been right, had it been just a day ago or so that she had said it, but now he wasnt so sure. She didnt have to tell him that he had fucked up, he already knew. He shrugged and looked down at his feet for a bit, "I know," he whispered in a quiet tone, just to let her know that he knew.
Her advice fell on half deaf ears, yet he looked at her and then just shook his head before he moved his powerless eyes out on the lake again, blinking a few times as he thought about it. He didnt get to answer her before she spoke again, staring out on the lake as he moved his hand up to his eye again and pressed a bit on the dark spot, making him grit his teeth a bit at the pain. But he was listening to her, taking in every word. Had he been able to muster it, he would have agreed with her and let himself breathe out with some relief. But to him it just seemed pointless. He shook his head and stuck it down between his knees. For a bit, before he lifted it to stare up at the sky, his mouth slightly open. He gulped and felt his adam's apple bop slightly through the stretched skin as he looked at the stars above. "You make it sound like I want her to forgive me," he then said as he turned his eyes to hers, there wasnt any conflict or uncertainty in them, none at all. "I dont want her to forgive me, I dont want her to be with me if it doesnt make her happy anymore," he moved his head down and felt a bit nauseous, but he was quite hungry. He hadnt really eaten since she left for hell and he only realized it now. "You said we were pieces of the same puzzle. Puzzles have more pieces than two. Maybe she'd be better off with another piece," his tone was full of defeat and yet a clarity.
He shook his head, "I'm going to leave the city for a while. If I see her, I wouldnt know what I would do. Probably run to her and beg her to be mine again...." - "I dont want that," once again with the defeated tone, this time stronger than ever, he felt his voice getting a bit groggy and he had to clear his throat. "Call me a pendejo, be angry at me for not seeing your point. I'm just done," he then said and turned his eyes to her again, frowning slightly to mark how truly sad and broken he felt.

He spoke about forgiving, but he clearly didn’t know what he was talking about. Besides, Calista had seen how possessive he could be, could he really not want something that was his all of a sudden? ”Honestly, I want you to forgive yourself,” she said looking at him as he tried explaining himself however, she stopped and listened. She shook his head at him. Sometimes you would think she was the eldest of the two, with the way he was speaking right now. ”Eaden I’m not angry at you, honestly do you think I would be the one to go against you at a time like this?” she asked looking at him with confused eyes. She understood why he wanted to go away, but it sounded more like he was trying to punish himself even further. She got to her feet, holding out her hand to help him up, even if he didn’t need it. ”I know you think that you’re done, but I know you’re not,” she said, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a tight squeeze. Why was she so bad with this? Calista closed her eyes and sighed.

”I know part of you do want to run right back to her, so maybe we need to set up some safety for you, just until you have given it a week or so,” she said, letting go of his shoulder to place her hand against his cheek. ”You can stay at my place in London – go crazy, fuck some chicks and be a mess, but I won’t let you be alone,” she said in a serious tone. She shook her head. No he didn’t need gloomy London he needed sunny Spain. She then nodded to herself and found her phone, writing a few texts and e-mails at a great speed before putting it away. She walked to his side and locked her arm with his, pulling him with her. ”The weather is nice in Madrid this time of year – we could both use some sun, and I could use a bucket of drinks, so we are going later this morning,” she said pulling him with her.

Forgive himself? That seemed like she was asking the impossible. He knew he had had every opportunity to come clean before this disaster, in every way it would seem as if he had asked for it to happen. It made him doubt himself and what he thought he had once been, maybe he truly wasnt as strong as he made it seem out to be. But he wanted to at least give what he thought was right, even if it felt like tearing his own heart and soul to pieces - Give her the freedom to do what she wanted. He knew it was going to be hard on him, it wasnt going to be an easy task at all. But he was quite determined as he expressed in his words, her question making him gulp as he looked away. So now he was also the kind to doubt his friends, just another thing to add to his list of reasons why he had to leave.
He looked up at her as she got up and offered him her hand, he seemed reluctant but lifted his to grab a firm hold on hers as he got up. Her words made him exhale deeply. "Calista... " he said as she gave his shoulder a squeeze and he sighed at the mention of her. He looked away and clenched his jaw slightly as he felt her hand on his cheek. He didnt seem rather happy about any of the choices she was giving him, and he just turned his eyes back to the lake as she was texting on her phone. When she locked arms with him, he was still staring at it, maybe hoping to catch a glance of the little strand of grass that was long gone. He felt her pull and moved his face ahead as his expression just went back to something numbed, "Thank you," he whispered quietly. A part of him really wanted to believe that Dinah and he could mend the broken bond between them, but his own stubbornness was making him stumble and fall in his beliefs. Wasnt it just for the best to let it go?

It was awful seeing him like this, and she didn’t like watching him ache like this. As she locked his arm with him and started walking she heard his whisper and shook her head. ”Don’t thank me for this, alright? If I was in your place, you would have done the same,” she said shrugging. Not that Calista had met many hardships in life, on the contrary the only thing in her life that bothered her at times was her younger siblings. Gaia at this time of night was full of life, but with life, death was always lurking in the shadows. Calista placed a hand on her stomach and sighed. She was hungry, more than she would like to admit. ”Let’s get some food, I don’t wanna risk emptying the whole plane for souls,” she said with a chuckle and looked at Eaden with a smile. He might not be in the mood, but he would still have to feed, even if she had to force the souls down his throat. ”Do you see any you like?” she whispered as she turned to look around on the street. She saw plenty of men and women already eyeing at the beautiful couple they were. Their race was known to be beautiful, but Calista knew that she might be cheating a bit with her pheromones.

”You don’t have to fuck them if you’re not in the mood, but I might need to satisfy my need before being confined to a flying machine in the sky,” she said with a sigh, licking her lower lip as she looked around. She spotted a nice looking woman standing by herself, checking her phone from time to time. ”She’s pretty,” Calista muttered to Eaden and pulled his chin up to let him watch the young woman. ”And she’s wearing red earrings,” she said in a tease before she moved over to the girl.

"I would have killed for you if needed be," he said in a low tone before he too shrugged. It wasnt often that he showed a deep care like this, but he did consider her one of his closest. He looked ahead as they walked, not really looking at people even though his body was practically begging him, a deep growl leaving his stomach as she mentioned food. He simply nodded, even though he didnt feel that hungry, or maybe he was just blocking out the feeling of hunger. Her whisper made him lift his gaze as he let it lazily roam the street before he shook his head. He could sense the lust in most of them and he found that more off putting than anything. Her words followed by the sigh made him close his eyes for a bit. "I should. But I dont really feel like it," he then said as he slowly looked around. Constraining himself in that way would have bad consequences, which he knew all too well, but he felt like he was finally ready to uphold the promise he couldnt give Dinah - At the worst time possible.
He eyed the woman that Calista made him look at and sighed deeply. "Her eyes annoy me," he said as he looked at Calista, the girl had green eyes, bright green eyes, and even though it was nothing like the green-grey they shared, he still felt like he could have been looking into his sister's eyes in that moment. He gritted his teeth and looked away, "I wont fuck her," he clarified in a mutter. But he already felt the weak feeling linger over him. He exhaled and looked at the girl again, avoiding her eyes.

Calista couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at his wording. Sure, they would both kill for each other, but that was just what friends did. Or that’s what their friendship entailed. She could feel his need, because she knew that feelin in ones body. ”I don’t care if you don’t feel like it, I can work them up and you can just grab the soul,” she said rolling her eyes. Souls always tasted better when it was through sex, at least for Calista, but they had the same ability to grab souls like a normal soul demon. As she pointed out the girl Calista sighed, but she could understand why. The succubus worked her magic, soon standing close with the girl, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, forcing her eyes to be on her. ”I like your lips,” Calista whispered, looking descretely to Eaden, signalling him to come over. The girl wanted to turn her gaze but the succubus was faster and grabbed the girls chin and locked their lips. Unlike Eaden, Calista enjoyed kissing, however not as much during the act. ”And they taste even better,” she whispered sensually before she sucked the soul out of the girl. It was tempting to just consume the soul herself, clean and slightly grey, but she handed it to Eaden. ”Now go work your magic, el amante (lover boy),” she said while she let the girls body fall lifeless to the ground.

Calista knew she had to get some souls in her before she turned ravenous. She needed them and it didn’t take her long to find some rather willing guys, however as they felt their souls being taken they did seem to mind. She got the first one down pretty well, but the other guys caught up on her act and grabbed her by the throat, holding her against the wall. She let out a small gasp, but soon shared her teeth with a growl. ”You don’t get to mess with me,” she growled as she moved her hand forward and a fireball flew from her palm, burning the flesh and sending a burnt smell of pig through the street. As the man screamed and let go of her she jumped on him like a wild animal, holding the screaming man by the throat as she sucked out his struggling soul.

"Do you want me to watch like some creep?" he asked, but even if he tried to make it sound like a tease, the emotion wouldnt follow. He just frowned at the girl, probably scaring her a bit if she saw him, but just being reminded of his sister in the smallest shame brought him back from wherever he had gotten to scrap. He watched Calista approach the girl and moved his eyes away as they kissed. He moved closer to them and as the succubus detached the girl's soul to offer him, he looked at it for a bit before he grabbed it. He didnt feel hungry, so what was the point in eating it? He sucked it up and felt a small relief from the hunger he had desperately pushed away, feeling a bit stronger, yet still weak. Was he really going to have to break the promise he had made in his mind to feel strong again? Did he even deserve to get stronger? Her words made him exhale as he couldnt really bring himself to hunt for another. It just seemed so pointless. He was nothing without her in his life, and he knew that.
He watched Calista go and stared at the dead body of the girl, her green eyes staring lifelessly up at him. He lifted his hand and closed his eyes as he broke her neck, as he wasnt sure what would happen if he saw it and imagined someone else being her. He turned his eyes back to his friend that seemed to have gotten in a fight with someone that had seen through her charms. He approached them with his hands in his pockets as she forced the screaming man's soul out, leaving the street in complete silence. He sighed. "People surely heard that," he said as he turned his eyes around to see if anyone had come running to the rescue. One had, a man a tad too old to be running as fast as he was. Eaden lifted his hand and made the man's bones stiffen with such ease, yet the trail of a bloody droplet running from his nose showed how weak he had gotten at this point. He looked to Calista, "I cant hold him forever," he then said as he nodded towards the man. The man stared at them with confused eyes, not even able to move his mouth as all his bones seemed to be frozen, muffled sounds coming from his closed mouth.

Calista growled a bit at what Eaden said, clearly it was the demon speaking, but right now she didn’t care. She had her cravings and they hadn’t been met. She saw the blood from Eaden’s nose and nodded at his words. She grabbed the man by the throat, looking into the eyes of the man as she leaned forward placing her lips against the man’s, taking his soul with her. She kicked the dead man over, grabbing Eaden’s hand, forcing the soul in between his lips before she started running with him. While running, Calista made the wind move with them, moving faster through the street before she stopped far away from the scene. She grabbed Eaden’s collar, clenching her teeth as she was struggling with her needs. ”I don’t want to rely on you,” she mumbled through her gritted teeth and closed her eyes as she tried to calm her demon. She needed to relax, but what little hope she had had with getting something with one of those guys were gone. Their souls had made their way into her body with a fight, and it made her body jitter with need.

”I’ll try and find someone else, but you need to get more souls in you,” she said shaking her head. She couldn’t look at Eaden, then she knew she would be all over him. Normally it would be alright. They both had an understanding of instinct rather than want, but it was hard seeing the difference between the two right now. She took a step back, breathing heavy and trying to calm down. She felt her body ache and she swallowed.

He was fed yet another soul. It still wasnt quite enough but it would have to do. As she held his hand and started running, he followed, feeling the wind push them forward to get them away from the crime scene rather quickly. This would definitely make it on the news, but he didnt even think about that. As they got away and she grabbed his collar, he just looked at her with his empty eyes. "I wasnt trying to make you rely on me," he said as he looked at her. She was uneasy, it was clear to see.
He looked at her and noticed she wouldnt look at him. He knew what she needed, what they both needed. He closed his eyes for a bit, before his hand instinctively lifted itself and grabbed at her shirt. What was he doing? He had just made a promise to himself and he was already breaking it? He felt his lip quiver ever so slightly as he opened his eyes and looked at Calista. "Please stay," he said in a low tone, almost like a beg, the same way he had begged his sister to not go, only that he knew that he couldnt make demands of people anymore.. He just couldnt take being left alone again, not after Dinah left him, it was too hurtful to experience again. He sighed deeply as he knew what his beg would end up with. His eyes were finally showing some sort of emotion a deep conflict between mind and body. His hand was shaking at thinking that another person he held dear would leave him. He let go of her as he realized he was in fact making a demand by holding onto her shirt. Dinah's reaction had just stuck with him in that way.