NO! I'm not loosing you! - Ben

Outfit Link

Ben was honestly just waiting for Cody and had been since he arrived at the club. He didn't plan on making out with a vampire in one of the bar's booths, and he certainly didn't plan on letting said vampire have a hand down his pants. But there he was, groaning into the kiss, on the lap of a stranger, who had given he drink after drink, slowly but surely getting him drunk. But ever since the last one, Ben was starting to feel dizzy, to the point where he couldn't ignore it. He pulled the vampire's hand out of his pants, leaning his head on the shoulder in front of him, breathing heavily. What was the vampire's name again? He couldn't remember... "I think I drank too much," he mumbled, slurring his words together. The vampire pulled him closer if possible, whispering something along the lines of 'just relax.' Ben pulled away, trying to get up, but fuck he felt shitty, the whole world started spinning, and he almost collapsed, but the vampire caught him. "I'm gonna get sick," he groaned, letting the vampire carry most of his weight. "Don't worry hun, I'll take good care of you." Those were the last words he heard before blacking completely out.

The vampire carried him outside, pulling him into an alleyway, where he propped Ben up against one of the walls, and started to pull off his shirt, and opening his pants. The intent was quite obvious, and although Ben sometimes regained consciousness, he couldn't really move his body. He only barely managed to mumble the words no, before he felt the vampire nudging his legs apart to sit down between them.
Ben's head tilted to the side as he was adjusted again, and that's when he felt the vampire's hand down his pants again, and his mouth on his neck. "Mmmh, I love siren blood you know. And you threw yourself at me so quickly, I couldn't have asked for a better slut to empty," the vampire hummed. He then bared his fangs, biting down into the soft skin of his neck. The rest was a blur, all he knew was that soon, he was lying down on his side in an alleyway, with his pants and boxers pulled just far enough down, to expose his ass, his shirt was lying somewhere nearby along with a used condom, and he had lost a lot of blood and he was getting cold fast. His vision blurred and curled up slightly, but soon lost consciousness completely, and the vampire was nowhere in sight.

Cody was standing in the entrance gazing stupidly at his best friend, making out with som dude. It wasn't until someone tried to go around him, but shoved his shoulder a bit so he was thrown back out of his freeze. He took a step forward, not knowing what to do, he would never interfere, no, he couldn't get himself to do something like that. But.. If he couldn't be here with Ben, why be here at all? He gave up an almost silent murmur an turned to face the door igen.. But then again! He couldn't just leave, right? They had a deal? Maybe Ben was.. Finished, with that.. Stuff, in just a moment? Okay.. Maybe.
He turned around a second time, and walked though the room, to sit down at the bar. Trying not to look back over to the table, he knew it would only make him feel so much worse.
He ordered a beer, and just sat there sipping it, all by himself. To make time run a bit faster, he picked up his phone and startede looking at stupid cat videos, it was the best.
He got lost in time for a bit. When he finally looked up, he was done with the beer, and.. Ben was gone. What?! Was he.. Had he.. Did he just leave with that guy?!
He could feel the tears starting to fill his eyes, jumping up from where he was sitting and walking to the door, he needed to get out of there. *He left you.. With that other man.. He forgot all about you, as always.. Why do you even try? You aren't good enough for him, he dosen't need you!* he thought getting more and more distressed, feeling more heartbroken than ever.
He was looking for his bike, when he thought he heard something, and some other feeling took over, just in that second. Something was wrong! If it was because he was a guardian angel that he could feel this, or if it was because he just had like a fifth sense for it, was hard to say, but nevertheless, he could.. And the feeling of anxiety was floating though his body, as he got into a run, looking for what ever it was.. Who..
He was just around the corner from Ben, and when he got too him, he was horrified with what he found. Kneeling down in front of the lifeless body of his best friend, and his true love.. *Please.. Don't be dead.. Please, please, please.. I love you!* he thought, now with tears running down his cheeks..
He raised his shaking hand towards Ben, trying to feel a pulse at his neck, not getting much. "Please.. Ben.. Please.. Can you hear me?" He tried to speak quietly, but his voice kept shaking. The anxiety growing inside of him, he could feel the panic attack just waiting to get out. "Please Ben.. You can't leave me.. Please!!!" he now called! Where were people! Why weren't there anyone who could help them?! He needed to call 911!! Shit..
He tried to get to his phone, when he finally noticed all the nakedness, he he just froze for like 5 sekund gazing down on Ben's naked body.. NO! NO! Concentrate! Sick bastard! He therefore fought a hopeless fight with his jacket, trying to get it of, and of cause after too long.. He finally did, so he could cover Ben up a bit. Still trying to get a reaction from him or.. Get som life back in him.. Get some.. Life.. Back in him..
*Oh no it's stupid! It would never work, he dosen't love you!* he thought to himself, it had to be both sided.. And how on earth would this.. Wonderful guy.. Ever love someone like Cody? It was impossible!
*But what other option do you have? He's dying! You should try..* he thought, still not completely sure.. This was such a bad idea.. He couldn't just.. kiss him like that!! It was.. NO!
*He will die either way..*, maybe not? He just had to call 911! Now!
But he could both feel and hear Ben's puls getting weaker.. There wasn't enough time.. No.. He needed to do something. So.. He finally pulled himself together and bend down over the dying boy.. Took a deep breath before he gentle pushed his lips against Ben's. If the love was requited it would bring Ben back, healed. If not.. He was just kissing a dead body.

Ben somehow knew he was dying, and while he didn't have a deathwish, he wasn't actually scared. Maybe it was the drug, the lack of blood, a detached lifestyle or an unhealthy mix of all, but he felt oddly calm. He didn't leave any lose ties behind. Sure, his mother would probably be sad, he was her only child after all, and maybe Angelica would be sad too, and possibly Cody. But they would move on. He didn't have a boyfriend, a romantic partner or anyone else who would be deeply affected by his death as far as he knew, and he was pretty sure he had pissed off every single person he hated. Not that it mattered anyway. By now, he was too far gone to think or even hear Cody try to get in contact with him, as good as gone already. His breathing was slowing down, his skin got cold, and even paler than usual, while his heart slowed down, barely even beating at this point. Even after the kiss, he laid still, no sign of life.

How long it took for the kiss to take effect wasn't easy to say, but at some point, Ben picked back up his breathing. He wasn't exactly back to consciousness just yet, as his brain still felt foggy and dizzy from the drug he had been fed, but he was most definitely alive. In fact, he was alive enough, that he pulled Cody's jacket tighter around his body, to regain some warmth in his body. He felt safe somehow, enveloped in a familiar scent, with an odd warmth going through him. It felt... good. Great even.

He wasn't sure when to stop, he didn't want to stop before it worked.. But what if it wasn't going to? He couldn't just sit there, kissing him.. If he was dead! Oh no, nonono! But it was almost impossible to stop, it felt so.. Right, why!? He had dreamed about this, so many times now, and here he was, finally kissing him! And it was not right, oh no, it was so wrong, first of all Ben was dying or dead.. And second of all he didn't want Cody to kiss him? He didn't feel the same, was this some kind of abuse? Shit! He needed to let go.. Now!
He then stopped the kiss and leans back, just about a second before he felt this amazing.. Feeling! Everything just drop dead.. Silence.. All he could hear was the echo of Ben's beating heart. And then he felt it, the quite unique feeling of true love.. So intense and so real.. His eyes pinched to Ben, as he started moving.. *Oh God in heaven, thank you!* he was silently praying. He bent down getting his arms around the boy and lifting him up towards him into a tight hug.. Tears still running down his cheeks, but this was happiness, no doubt.. Oh.. Oh!
"Benjamin.." he gasped clutching him even closer, "I.. I saved you.. You came back for me.." it was only a whisper now, but.. It was there..
He tried to get control over this.. Over himself, trying to pull himself together, but it was so hard.. He just wanted to sit there and hold Ben.. All night long.. But it was cold, no.. It was freezing! And one of them was almost naked! He needed to get Ben inside, he needed to get him home. Just one more hug, okay? "I love you.."

Ben wasn't exactly awake when he was cradled in Cody's arms, but he wasn't completely gone either. He felt the warmth and safety wrapped around him in a comforting hug, that filled him with an odd feeling, that he couldn't quite understand. It just felt... weird. He couldn't place it, and quite frankly, he didn't want to either. Instead, he nuzzled further into the embrace, inhaled deeply and then sighed softly. He could recognize that smell anywhere.

"... Cody..?" He whispered, his eyes fluttering open. His pupils were blown wide, clearly showing that he wasn't quite there yet. Ben looked up at the angel through half-lidded eyes, with a slight smile on his lips, before closing his eyes again, nuzzling his cheek against Cody's chest, and going limp in his arms. He was still breathing and alive, just unconscious, completely this time, which was his body's way of getting him the rest he needed.

He was scared of letting go of Ben, and the hug seemed to last forever. Till Ben finally responded and actually returned the hugging, it felt nice. He just really needed this, so much.
But of cause he had to let go.. Eventually.. A sad sigh left his lips as he heard Ben whispering his name, "Yes Ben it's me, I'm right here! I'm gonna take care of you!" he said, still at bit overwhelmed by his feelings, and the panic of the nearly passing of his best friend and secret love.. This was going to hunt him forever! And if he hadn't been overprotective towards Ben in the past, he would most definitely be it now. He would never let anything like this happen again! Even if that meant he had to follow Ben around all the time form now on.. He would do that.

The panic filled him again when Ben suddenly passed out! He was afraid that the kiss somehow had backfired and killed Ben! He startet shaking him, trying to get him to respond, "Nooo, no Ben please!! Don't leave me! I can't live without you!"" he called out, tears came running down his cheeks again, and his whole body started to shake like hell! Fuck! "Please Ben.. Please.." he whispered, completely out of it!
His hand now tried to push his own jacket away, which he had used to cover Ben up a bit. He pushed his cold fingers against Bens naked chest, trying to feel the heartbeat. OH! He was alive! "Thanks God in Heaven!" he gasped. Okay he needed to get Ben out of the street, and home! But.. If he was passed out, he couldn't take him on his motorcycle..
Oh he needed to fly with him! He got up from the cold ground, now carrying Ben in his arms, trying to pull up his pants and at the same time trying to keep Ben covered, feeling a bit tense every time he could see to much of his body.. Not that he wasn't beautiful.. But then again, that was the whole problem!

He spread his wings and took of.
He landed on the balcony, and opened the door to get inside the small one-room apartment.
He closed the door behind him to shut the cold out. When he had the opportunity, he bent down over the couch and put Ben down, then he got on his knees beside him, stretched out and stroked him gently over the forehead, hoping he would wake up soon, he was really worried.

When Ben woke up again, he felt a soft warmth on his forehead, and in general, he felt warmer. It was nice. But fuck his head hurt! His eyes fluttered open, with the first thing he saw, being Cody. He slowly reached out and caressed the angel's cheek, as gentle as he could be. The angel had been his friend for almost as long as he had lived in England - which meant at least half his life. He couldn't imagine living without him as his friend... But why was he here?

As he felt the soreness settle in, and realized that he was definitely lacking a shirt, his tired, but dorky expression, faltered as he realized that his best friend had seen him, shortly after he had been raped and almost killed. "Shit." He immeadiately went to sit up, but his stomach, head and ass disagreed, as nausea, a horrible headache and a literal pain in his ass, hit him. He groaned and laid back down, covering his eyes with his arm.
When what felt like the worst hangover in history subsided slightly, he moved his arm away, to look up at Cody again, sighing deeply. "I'm sorry that you had to see that, it was my fault the whole thing, and you got dragged into it again," he murmured, before looking away, kind of ashamed of the whole thing. It was his fault after all. If he had been a decent person, he wouldn't have flirted with a guy, while waiting for a friend. He wouldn't have accepted those drinks, and most importantly, he wouldn't have let the vampire kiss him in the first place. But he was Ben, and of course, he had to do that stupid shit. He practically had a sign around his neck that yelled 'rape me,' probably with another sign underneath that read 'and kill me.' It was his own fault, just like last time. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he rolled over, so his back was facing Cody.

And so he did! Finally! "Thank God, you're okay!" he whispered, just about to give Ben another tight hug, sadly he didn't get to that, cuz the boy got up, or almost! "Oh please Ben, just lay back, relax, it will be okay, I promise!" He said, he even considered pushing Ben back down, but.. No he couldn't do that. "Just one sec, okay?" he said, getting back on his feat, a quick steps over to the bed-loft, climbing the few stairs and grabbing his duvet, jumping back down, and getting back to Ben in no time. He pulled his jacked away and as quickly as possible he covered Ben with his duvet. Hoping it would warm him up in no time, or else he had a really good blanket too!
"Oh no Ben, don't say that, please.. It's not.. I'm not.." He said, the hurt just grew in him, getting him more sad, oh please.. No.
"It's not your fault Ben, I'm sorry, it was me.. I.. I didn't get there fast enough.." he cried out.. Watching his friend truing his back on Cody! NO!
"I love you Ben.. Please don't do that.. Please.. Let me comfort you, let me.. I.. I wanna help you.. Ben.." he gasped.. Trying to do something, he climb onto the couch, squeezing him self down between the back of the couch and Ben, very determined he put his arm around his best friend.. Oh hell.. the love of his life! And pulled him into his arms, putting his cheek towards Bens hair, sniffing in the sweet scent.. Oh.. No.. "Ben.. You never have to hide from me.. I'll be here for you.. Always.. No matter what! I promise!" he gasped, starting to cry again.. Just tighten his grip around Ben, holding him as tight he could, without squeezing all the air out of him of cause.

Ben tried to just ignore Cody, hoping he would give up, or maybe realize that Ben was an asshole. But neither happened. No, instead the angel squeezed himself down in front of Ben, now trapped between him, and the back of the couch. At first, he considered turning around again, but he really wasn't trying to hurt Cody's feelings, or make him think that he was mad at him. So with a sigh, Ben laid an arm around his friend's waist and snuggled closer to him.
He felt like an asshole by doing so, because it seemed easier to just not acknowledge what happened. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't. It felt wrong and unfair to Cody. So for now, he just listened to the angel's promise, buried his face by his friend's neck and closed his eyes. He didn't cry though. Ben wasn't a crier. He rarely ever cried - in fact, he only remembered crying twice in front of Cody.
One time was when he moved away from London. His mom had decided that they would move to Gaia, so Ben could get an education with 'other kids like him' as his mother put it, and his first thought was that he'd lose his best friend. Needless to say, he wasn't happy about it. He immediately went to Cody's place and as soon as he saw him in the doorway, he broke down crying. The other time was a long time ago. It was the first, and probably only time, Ben would agree that he was actually raped. Other times, he would say that he probably asked for it, but that time he didn't. His first instinct was to seek out his best friend, and he kept himself somewhat together until Cody had taken him inside and asked what was wrong. Then the tears had started falling, but he didn't sob. He just felt broken and dirty. But this time was different. It was Ben's fault, and while he felt gross and maybe even too dirty for someone as nice as Cody to touch, it wasn't different from how he normally felt around the angel.
"Don't apologize Cody, it wasn't your fault at all." he mumbled pulling himself back, just enough that he could look at his best friend, a soft, but apologetic smile on his lips. "I just... Well, I guess kind of wish you didn't have to see me like that." He sighed, before nuzzling back into his former position, with his face by Cody's neck. "And you know I love you too. You're my best friend after all," he said, gently squeezing him close, with the arm that was still around the angel's waist.

Cody really tried his best here, he was no expert in comfort, his feelings always seemed to get in the way.. And being this close to Ben, it was a miracle he'd held it together, and not just broke into a million pieces. But he needed to be strong for his friend, and secret love! Ben didn't need some emotional bullshit right now, he just needed a friend and some comfort, and.. He needed to feel safe! And Cody wanted to make him feel that, he'd do just about anything for Ben, stretch that.. He would do anything for him! Even give his life for him, if he had to, of cause. "Yes it was, if only I had noticed that you had disappeared somewhat faster.. It was my fault.. I'm really sorry!" he told Ben, gently brushing his back, trying to get him to.. Heal? Maybe. He looked him in the eyes as Ben appeared from his hiding place, also known as Cody's neck.. Uh but that didn't really matter to him, or.. Ben could do that anytime he wanted.. It was.. Nice.
"Don't worry, I don't care about stuff like that.. And eh.. Not the first time I've seen you naked.. You know.." he said.. The last bit just a soft whisper, getting a bit shy.. Thinking about stuff like that.. Now he was really grateful that Ben nuzzled back into his former position, hiding at Cody's neck.. Then he couldn't see the blushing now getting Cody's cheeks a bit red, just thinking of Ben's naked body.. But they where best friends, of cause they'ed seen each other naked.. And on top of that.. Ben was a sirene.. Cody had seen him.. Taking a swim, more than once.. Oh.. Blushing harder now.. Stop!
A gentle sigh left lis lips as Ben repaid his love proposal.. Not.. In the same way.. But it was okay.. It was good enough.. For now. He just returned the hug and held him tight, oh if they could just, stay like this, for ever! "I know you do.." he softly whispered.. If Ben did not.. He would be dead..
"If you want, I can go draw you a nice warm bath? Maybe it will.. Linger the pain a bit, and eh.. I can find some clothes for you, you can borrow some of mine, and stay the night?" he said tentatively, hoping Ben would stay.

Ben shook his head no, and placed his hand gently on Cody's cheek. "Please Cody, it's bad enough as it is, I don't want you to be upset on top of everything, okay? Knowing me, I could just as well have decided to go home with some guy, and you were right to assume it" He placed his arm back at Cody's waist, before nuzzling close to his best friend.

A small chuckle left his lips, when Cody pointed out that he had seen Ben naked before. Well that was true, most people who were close to him had seen him naked. He was a siren after all, and he trusted Cody enough to let him join quite a few of his late night swims. But even so, a small blush covered his cheeks, because sometimes when he was with Cody, he felt like he had as a teen. Like he still had some sort of innocence. No, he wasn't a virgin, by any means, and he was an absolute asshole, but at least he hadn't managed to wreck his friendship with Cody.

Ben hummed, deep in thought, at the angel's suggestion. Should he...? "Yeah, that sounds great. I feel a little gross." he replied, chuckling sheepishly.

Every time Ben moved Cody just flicked a bit, they where so close, it was so hard not to, it absolutely send those wonderful chilling shivers down his spike.. And something most definitely started to tinkle.. "No.. I.. Ehm.. I'm sorry.." he just said, not knowing what else to say really. They properly, just had to let go, of this whole conversation, they would never agree anyway. Cody was determined.. It was his fault and for that he was really disappointed in himself, he was supposed to be an Angel, to guard and protect people, especially the people he loved.. And here he was, a total failure.. Not just with Ben, but with his speciel-person also, he couldn't even find her/him.. He was the worst Angel ever.. From now on, he had to get it together, he just had to try harder! And he knew where he had to start, with Ben.. He was going to protect him from now on! For real! Even if he had to give his life for him.. He couldn't stand to lose Ben, and tonight.. It just got to damn close! He loved him.. So much. It made it hard to just breath.
But there was something else to.. The feeling from before.. The tinkle.. And with Ben's hand on his waist.. The soft warm touch.. It made his body.. Weird! And of cause he blushed! Hoping that Ben wouldn't noticed, as he was all cuddled up beside him. But oh.. They where so close... So.. Close..
And this couldn't just.. Pause, the feelings.. Other feelings may have taken over for a while.. But now this was back.. This.. This.. Lust.. And he could feel his body respond to Ben's.. He blushed even harder..
Okay now he needed to get away, before Ben felt anything! As close as they lay right now.. Yeah, he had to get up.. Get som distance!
So he tried to wrap himself out of the compact embrace, "Yes.. Okay, I'll go do that.. If you just let go.. Oh.. No.. What? You're not gross, you're perfect!" he said, not really thinking.. Had he ever said to Cody he was perfect before? What was that? Such a stupid thing to say.. How did he even.. Argh! But he was caught up in the getaway.. He could feel himself getting even more hard.. As the though og Ben's naked body returned with the image of the bath he had to draw for him.. FUCK! Okay.. Up now, before he noticed, if it wasn't to late already, that is..
He got himself untangled and sat up as he started climbing over Ben, and finally landing safe on his feet.. Hopefully.

Normally, Ben could detect other people's attraction to him in a heartbeat. There was always something in their eyes and the way they moved and talked, that made it incredibly obvious to him. But for some reason, he was uncharacteristically oblivious when it came to Cody. It wasn't even that he tried to ignore it, he simply didn't see any of it. Whether or not that Cody was lucky, wasn't easy to say, but it made the awkwardness one-sided.

A soft chuckle left Ben's lips when Cody tried to get untangled from him, and he definitely made it more difficult for the angel than he needed to. But he couldn't help it! Cody was kind of fun to mess with, and he never really got angry at Ben for it, so he couldn't be that bothered by it, could he? But after a bit of awkward moving around, and a bit of blushing from both parts, the angel managed to untangle himself from both Ben's limbs, the couch and the duvet. Ben sat up a bit, groaning at the discomfort in his body. Nope, sitting down on his ass was a bad idea, holy shit. He moved so he was sitting on his hip instead, and while that wasn't comfortable either, it wasn't as bad as before. Man, with how sore he was, it was a miracle that the vampire hadn't managed to kill him!
"Hey, Cody? Can you help me out to the bathroom? I don't think I can walk right now," He asked softly, hoping that the angel wouldn't blame himself too much.

Jeez he needed to get away now, so he moved as fast as possible, into Ben's blind spot, making it hard for Ben to see him, from where he was sitting. Just standing near the bathroom door, somewhere behind his best friend, lingering, fumbling, blushing like hell. He wanted help? Oh no! Not that he didn't want to help him, right? But it was just.. This was so embarrassing! He really hoped to God that Ben didn't notice anything, it seemed like he didn't, but you never know huh? Even though it wasn't the first time, Ben had made him.. Like this.. He always manages to keep his big secret to himself. Yes people kept telling him to just say it, but how could he declare his love to this boy, when he new for sure, he would never requite it. It was most likely to destroy their friendship, and he couldn't handle loosing him like that, no.. He needed him, in whatever way possible.
"Yes of cause I will, just give me one second, I'm just gonna go get the water running!" he said, finally excusing himself, and leaving the livingroom/bedroom/kitchen.
First he went to turn on the hot water, slowly filling the bathtub, perfect for Ben to slid right into. He was on his way back to Ben, only stopping for a few seconds to calm himself down, winning the control back.
He found Ben still sitting on the couch, a quiet sigh left his lips, how the hell was he going to do this, without getting to.. emotionel. Couldn't the kid just pass out again? Oh sorry no! Didn't mean that.
Okay.. He bent down over Ben carefully placing Bens arms around his neck, pulling him op in his arms, grabbing his legs and also trying not to expose him to much.. Shit! his cheeks just want back into the hot red colour, heart beating faster in his chest, as he now was all to close to his secret love. And then their eyes met, just for a second.. But it was enough for Cody to just freeze.. He just stood there with the little siren in his arms, keeping him close, staring at him.. Nothing else really existed, Ben was all that matter in the whole world.
Okay that was a bit awkward.. "Sorry.. I just got lost there for a moment.." he said, shaking his head a bit.. Before taking Ben to the bathroom. But when he got to the tub, he didn't really know what to do.. Slowly he tried to throw him in over the edge of the bathtub, gentle of cause! Now able to help him remove his clothes.. So he did.. What was left of it of cause.
Then turning him around and letting him slip down into the nice water. "Anything else you need me to do for you?" he asked eagerly.. Now Ben was all naked and.. Totally exposed this time.. He really needed to get out of there.. As he could already feel himself getting turned on again..

Ben nodded, waiting for Cody to be done. He knew it was kind of redundant, but he pulled up his boxers, just to be somewhat covered, and then he pushed his pants, socks and shoes off himself. Of course, he would have to take them off soon, but Cody didn't really have the same view on nudity that Ben did. He himself wasn't shy at all - he looked good, so why bother covering up, when it wasn't needed? Besides, they were both guys, they both knew what a dick looked like, and Ben was pretty sure he had said no homo more often than the average straight guy. But Cody wasn't quite the same. Whenever Ben stripped down to go swimming, he would look away shyly and he couldn't for the life of him get the angel to join him in the lake. Honestly, he didn't get it, but he could respect it.

Finally, the angel got back to him, and helped him up, albeit not in the way that he had in mind. Instead of just getting support to walk out there, the angel picked him up, and Ben felt oddly embarrassed. Cody was just so gentle with him all the damn time, and fuck if that wasn't the most adorable thing ever. The girl who got to be with him was lucky, that was for sure! But for now, Ben enjoyed the attention while he could, knowing that at any moment, someone could snatch his best friend from him.
He was lost in thought, looking up at his friend, when Cody apologised, effectively pulling Ben out of his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed that the angel had stopped walking, and his cheeks heated up when he realized he had been staring, so he cleared his throat, and looked away awkwardly. Well, his attempt at not being gay around the angel wasn't really looking that way now. Luckily, getting naked was something that he was awfully good at, and before too long, he slid down into the water, getting a bit of distance between him and Cody. It was comforting to be in the water, to say the least, but Cody's question was like a slap in the face. Had he bossed the angel around too much? Maybe he should've gotten out there on his own? Cody sounded like he really wanted to get away from Ben - was it too gay to ask your best friend to help you that much? Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit, okay, no, he could handle this!

"Oh, uh, no, I guess not?" He swallowed the lump in his throat, avoiding eye contact by looking to the side. Normally he felt so at ease in his siren form, but now he felt naked, not just physically, but emotionally too. Honestly, Ben really tried to not seem too gay in front of Cody. He liked having a friend, who didn't try to get in his pants, and he didn't want the angel to be uncomfortable around him. But as of lately, Cody had been a lot more awkward around him when Ben did something even remotely affectionate, and he was worried that the angel thought, that he'd try to take advantage of him or something like that. It was kind of difficult to, but he really tried to not flaunt his sexuality, if nothing else, then just to avoid losing a great friend.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit then.." he said hesitantly, forcing himself to give Ben a friendly smile. He pressed his legs a bit together, trying to hide the.. That.. He was definitely turned on now, yeah.. Fuck. He turned his back on Ben, and as he walked out of there, he clenched his hands, poking the inside of them with his nails, really trying to control himself a little better.
He just left the door on ajar. He was feeling a bit angst, so he started to clean up, but there wasn't really much to do, after all he was a stickler for order, he liked having the apartment nice and clean.
So he filled some water into the kettle and started making tea, it was kinda his solution to everything! You know, everything gets better after a cup of tea!
Then he went to set the bed, making sure everything was perfect, and of cause, there had to be room for Ben now.. Just thinking of them.. Sleeping together.. After what happened earlier.. It was so.. Hard.
He shook his head, trying to get it of his mind, they had slept together a thousand times before, it was never a problem.. Or it always kinda was, because he was so in love with him.. And all the cuddling made it really hard not to just.. Confess.. But today.. Today they had kissed, and he had saved his life.. And told him he loved him.. And it was diffrent.. It just was!
All he could hope to, was that Ben wouldn't notice anything, even though Cody acted a bit weird.. But not to weird, right? Hmm..

He found Ben some clothes, just something of Cody's, Pyjamas bottoms, a t-shirt.. Socks and boxers. And then he poured the tea.. So.. Nothing left to do, okay time to go help Ben.. Please don't get turned on again!!
He went back to the bathroom, luckily Ben had changed into his true form by now, so Cody was safe for a little while longer. "Hey.. Wanna give me a hand and pull yourself up from there, you're pretty heavy with that beautiful tail for yours" he said, blushing a bit, but oh.. He had always loved that tail, he couldn't help smiling when he saw it.. It just.. Brought back a lot of good memories.
As Ben got out of the tub, sitting on the edge of the tub, the tail slowly vanishing, Cody got him a towel, one of those big and really soft ones, and put it around him, covering him up again. "Let's get you into bed, shall we?" he said quietly, still avoiding eye contact, the feelings haven't changed.. He was still.. quite effected by him. Oh God.. If he could just shut these stupid feelings off!

He bend over and got a good hold on Ben, before he straightened up again, carrying Ben back into the livingroom/kitchen/bedroom. The bed was placed on the loft, as a bunkbed kinda thing, luckily for him Ben wasn't that heavy like this, so he managed to crawl the ladder with him in his arms. The mattress was placed on the lofts floor, and pretty much filled the hole place, it wasn't really a double bed, but it was a bit bigger than a normal sized bed too. He put him down on the bed, sending him a gently smile, "I've found some clothes for you, you want help with it? Or?" he asked and nodded against the clothes he had laid out on the bed for Ben.
Slowly he sank, and looked away, trying to control how hard his heart was beating right now.. Being so.. Close.. "Oh and made us some tea, though you might wanted something warm to sleep on.." he whispered, smiling a bit into the air.. Not sure what to do with himself.. This was awkward.

When he was left alone, Ben slid further down into the tub, until he was practically lying on the bottom, curled up in a ball on his side, so the entirety of his tail was down there. He closed his eyes, as he felt the water doing its magic on the wounds and soreness in his body. Honestly, this was probably the most calm he had been in a long while. Even though he was worried about Cody, he also trusted the angel more than anyone else. And just... well... the fact that Ben knew, that he was in the other room, was calming.

He could've probably fallen asleep like that in the tub. The lukewarm water was soothing and being in his true form gave him room to relax even more, even if it was a little cramped with his long tail. But he didn't get to. Soon he could vaguely make out the sound of Cody opening the door, and so he sat up, and looked over at the angel. He tiredly rubbed his eyes, as the exhaustion set in again, but nodded when Cody asked him to get out of the tub.
Ben was often just presumed to be a pretty boy, with no real meat on his body. But despite that, he easily lifted himself up from the tub, only using the strength in his arms. He got up on the edge, and swung his tail out of the water and down on the floor. It didn't take long for the tail to split in half and turn into legs instead, but somehow Cody managed to get a towel around him before that happened. He should probably dry himself off, but the small almost-nap in the tub made him pull the towel tighter around his body like a blanket. But the angel didn't seem to mind, because Cody decided to carry him anyway, so he didn't worry too much about it.

"I could probably walk myself y'know" he muttered, but without any bite to his words. In fact, he seemed quite content with the outcome, as he was resting his head on Cody's shoulder, rubbing his cheek against his shirt like a cat. It wasn't very unlike how he was with the angel when he was drunk or sleep-deprived, he always seemed to get cuddly when he was like that. And either Cody didn't mind or was too kind to push him away, because he usually got the cuddles he needed.

But then the moment was gone, as Cody put him down on the matress, and gave him clothes to wear for the night. Honestly, the only time Ben actually bothered wearing pyjamas was at Cody's, but he didn't mind too much. The angels pyjamas were baggy and comfortable, and smelled like him, so Ben liked wearing them... Was that weird? That was probably weird. Meh.
He reached out to take the clothes, and shook his head no, when Cody asked if he needed help. His legs felt fine. Still wobbly, but he could get them into the boxers and pants, and managed to lift his butt enough to get them up on his hips. The shirt was even easier, and soon, Ben was fully dressed in the angel's clothes.

The next thing Cody said made him snort though. "You're one of the most british men I know," he said with a slight laugh to his voice. "But sure, tea sounds nice right now. Do you still have the forest fruit tea I bought last time? And maybe some biscuits?" The tension was awkward, but Ben tried to play it off like it was nothing. He felt like that was the easiest way to make it go away, even though it hadn't really worked so far.

He did a bit of a absence kinda nut, before moving slowly away, and then crawling back down the ladder. He walked back to the kitchen counter, wanting to finish up making the tea for them. "Yeah well.. I guess so.. Or.. " he murmured, not sure what to say really. "Oh, are you hungry? I can make you something to eat if you want to?" he said, going over to the fridge and opening it, standing there for a second or to, just looking in.. Okay he needed to go grocery store, tomorrow then! "Or maybe just order something?" he said after awhile, letting a annoyed sight out. Why was this so hard? This was supposed to be easy.. But.. He just had the worst feeling in his stomach, like this ache, that just kept nagging.. Couldn't it please just go away?!

"The tea.. Yes.. I've got your tea" he murmured again, getting back on track. He found the one Ben wanted, and did as he was told, pretty much? Or, whatever.
He carried the tea back to the ladder and claimed it again, trying not to spill. When he got back up, he could see Ben had gotten the clothes on.. Oh.. Okay.. Good. It made it a bit easier to breath. "Here you go, did you want anything to eat, or?" he tried saying, handing Ben the tea. And then.. He just sat there.. Glancing at Ben.. Or well.. Yeah.. He felt so lost, this was hell! Why couldn't he just tell him? Or even better, just kiss him?! Wasn't that what you where supposed to do after all, letting your actions speak for you? Or was it the other way around? Words speaks louder than actions? Oh hell no!! This was such bullshit.
"I'm sorry.. I'm just tired I guess.." he said, blinking a bit, and then finally looking away, blushing a bit.. Oh jeez.. All those feelings, it was to hard, how did people do this? It was a mystery to him.. He would never have the balls to just.. Do stuff like that.. He was to afraid, to much of a coward anyway... All the same.. The friendship was more important, he had to tell himself that!
Yeah.. It was better this way.. If he said anything.. He might lose him, he couldn't effort that.. No.. no.
Better have him like this, than not at all.

Ben listened to Cody walking around while getting clothes on, and when that was done, he got a bit more comfortable on his friend's bed. Even if Cody was acting weird, Ben was still fairly comfortable in the angel's home, and it was kind of just an old habit. Just like hogging the duvet, stealing his shirts and getting snacks when he was hungry. He had known the angel for such a long time, that he just felt at home here. Hopefully, the awkwardness would subside soon. He was quickly pulled out of his thoughts, by Cody asking him if he was hungry. "Uh, kinda? But like, snack-hungry. So biscuits are fine if you have them, and it's cool if you don't," he replied, nodding slightly. Yeah, he wasn't really all that hungry. In fact, anything more than a biscuit would probably make him nauseous.

Finally though, Cody was back with his tea, and he reached out to take it, so Cody could get up with a bit more ease. He took a sip of the tea, humming contently. Yup, Cody knew how to prepare his tea, alright. Ben wasn't actually from the UK, så he had gotten a fair amount of teasing about how sweet he wanted his tea, but even so, Cody let him have his ridiculously sweet tea. "Thanks, that was really what I needed," he said, smiling softly at the angel. The warmth of the tea spread down his throat and settled peacefully in his stomach, and got the last bit of coldness out of his system.

But then Cody apologised again, and Ben couldn't help but frown a little. "Hey, what's up with you today? You seem super tense and apologize every other second," he asked, not accusatory at all, but just... Worried. Yeah, that was a good word to describe it. He lowered the tea to rest on his knee, still holding it with one hand, and reached out to gently place a hand on Cody's knee, which he gave a soft squeeze. "You know that you can tell me anything, right? It's my job as self-proclaimed best friend, to make sure you don't get stuck in your head," he then added, smiling slightly to show he wasn't bothered by it at all.

Cody give him a kinda shy glance, before breathing in a whole lot of air, as if it was to help. But no, not really. "Eh, Sorry no, I don't, I'll get some tomorrow, I wasn't really.. Exciting you to come by.. So yeah.." he mumbled as an lousy excuse. He should be prepared for Ben to come by anytime he wanted, right? As being the best friend, yeah.. But oh well, sometime you just run out of stuff, yeah. Not that big of a deal really, why did he had to overthink just about any stupid little thing? Most likely because of Ben, he really made his head spin, wuow.
"You're very much welcome.." he replied in a soft voice, looking at him, every time Ben looked away.
"I'll.. Be right back.." he mumbled, befor going down the ladder once again.
He went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, befor stripping down, and getting into his own pyjamas, oh! So comfortable, and yes, he was the type who always slept in pyjamas, it wasn't just because Ben was here.
After changing he left the bathroom to go get his own tea, before crawling up the ladder again, and getting down under the soft sheets.. Mhmm.. Heavenly! This was just about the best thing possible.. After a long.. Yeah well, very long, dag.. Pyjamas, tea.. And his best friend to talk to..
Who seemed kinda worried? He followed Bens hand as it was placed upon Codys knee, all the fabric between the fingers and his own soft skin, and he could still feel the fierce warmth coming form the single touch.. Wow.
His eyes went up to Bens face, seeing the friendly smile on his perfect lips, just gazing a few minuts thinking of the kiss they shared earlier, he wished he could get another.. No.. He wished he could just kiss him, and never stop again.
"Yeah.. I don't know.. I'm just.. It's been a long day.. So yeah.. Sorry.." he mumbled and shrugged a bit, before just shaking his head, "I know.. Thank you, I don't know what I would do without you.." he said, being really honest right now, but, yes. He blushed a bit, before looking away and yeah, drinking some of the tea.

Ben really was worried about his best friend, and didn't really know if he believed that it had just been a long day. But he also trusted Cody to tell him if something was completely wrong, at least if it was something Ben could help him with. At least he hoped he would. But no matter what, Cody smiled and that made Ben a lot more comfortable. He wouldn't do that if he found Ben's company tiresome or gross, right? Ah, he hoped so. He really didn't want to lose his best friend since... well, a long time.

So he looked up at the angel with a small smile - not a grin or a smirk as he usually had - and gave the angel's knee another squeeze before pulling his hand back to hold it around the mug with the other. "Me neither, ya goof," he said with a slight laugh to his voice, before sipping his tea. He sighed contently and took another sip. The warmth from the beverage, pyjamas and duvet were helping him relax, and he slowly felt the soreness settle into being tired. A yawn escaped him, and he let go of the mug with one hand, to rub his eyes. Fuck, what time was it anyway?
"You down for some sleep?" he asked, not even waiting for an answer before putting the mug aside so he could crawl further onto the mattress. He comfortable made himself at home in the bed, and curled up a little - but not before lifting the duvet up to invite Cody in.

It just burned! It burned so distinguishably much!! Turned him into a bruning volcano, ready to just explode! Every single touch! Right now, the fire had started somewhere near his crotch, just.. A few inches down.. His knee.. Yes.. It was his knee. Burning though the thin soft fabric of his white and blue striped pyjamas bottoms, like they weren't even there at all. The skin underneath melting form the fire, letting the long perfect fingers slip in under the skin itself, and as, his whole body, right this second was fully connected to that one spot, the knee, he felt it as, the boy sitting in front of him, reached in an touched every single bone in his overheated and much hypersensitive body. He set him on fire. And then pulled away!! Just leaving, leaving him burning to his death! What could he do? Nothing right? Nothing but sit there, with the all consuming desire - Please just touch me again - please, please, please - And don't ever stop! - The longing seemed to go on for ever, wanting him so bad, it was slightly impossible! - I just want the skin, your skin, I wanna feel it, feel it against mine.. - A voice seemed to ecco somewhere in the past, trying to pull him out of this non-reality of his.. But the fire, it wound't stop, it just kept on burning?! He wanted for Ben to stop it, why wouldn't he stop it? Couldn't he see the pain already carved into the flushed skin that was his face? Or the longing, the needning, the wanting in his eyes? The smile, oh the smile, every time he smiled?! Why couldn't he just, stop the goddamn fire!! Just stop it!
Or.. Come brun with me.. One or another.. Nothing is not good enough.

"Yeah.. I'm just gonna go turn off the lights.." was his almost silent answer, before picking up the empty tea cups, and again taking a journey down- and later up the ladder again.
Finding his way back to bed with the lights now out, easy when alone, but with Ben there, he had to be a bit more carefull, he didn't want to suddenly poke a knee into his stomach, or something like that.
But he got back, without hurting the other, got in place, but.. He didn't cuddle up behind him as always.. He kept his distance.. He still felt like a volcano.. And it would simply give him away.. If he spooned him now.. And that was not how.. No.. He just.. No.. He couldn't.. Even tho' it was everything he'd ever wanted..
Why couldn't he see it? Or could he? Maybe he just didn't care? Maybe.
"Goodnight.." he whispered softly, before turning his back on him, covering himself up, and closing his eyes.. But it would.. Take hours.. To fall.. A sleep..

Ben was ready to just... Go back to normal, ignore Cody's odd behaviour and sleep like they always did. But when the angel returned to the bed, he didn't curl up behind him as he usually did. No, he laid down, back turned to him as far away as the mattress allowed. Ben's heart sank to the pit of his stomach and his eyes almost watered, as this was such an obvious sign. Cody wasn't comfortable with him. He acted weird around him, avoided his touch like it burned and turned away from him.

It hurt.

Ben looked over his shoulder shortly, as if to look and see if he had misunderstood it. That maybe Cody was fiddling with something. But no, the angel laid still on the other side of the bed, back turned to him and seemed like he was dozing off. Ben felt gross. He felt dirty. His own best friend didn't want anything to do with him, and who could blame him? Silently he laid his head back down on the pillow, facing away from the angel, and pushed the duvet off so Cody could have it to himself. The cold returned to Ben's body as he curled up in a ball and he felt a few tears silently fall from his eyes. He didn't sob or gasp for air, lest he'd alert the angel, and the few tears weren't accompanied by more.

Ben barely got any sleep, despite his body's fatigue, and as soon as the sun peaked beyond the horizon, he got up and left. He didn't want to bother Cody any more than he already had, but put a note on the fridge, explaining that he had gone home. He'd love to leave the angel's clothes behind as well, but his own were a little too gross to wear. So he put them in a plastic bag instead and started to walk home. It was cold, as his jacket had been left at the bar, but he didn't really care. He just needed to get back home.